The pinky got a brain.

Look.




Look closer.




Look close enough.





I am NOT a Pink Freak, okay. And yes, the deep PINK cushion serving as the background is mine. But I am NOT a PINK FREAK. (did I just say it again?)

They are just MP3 and handphone. Baru dua gadget pink dah gelabah.

i feel stupid if i speak in malay. pukepuke.

izin laluan untuk menghancurkan bahasa ibunda, sy tengah kebingungan kebengongan buat IRP note malay (which sy takbace satu pun lagi novel3 uh), maka sy rase sgtlah tensi dan frust, apetah lagi selepas dikantoikan oleh cg azha kerane tidak membaca LAGAK WASANGKA langsung. busuk gila weh kantoi. sumpah taktipu.

sy tau entry bahasa ibunda sy kedengaran sangat bangang, tapi takmengapelah. sy tau anda3 sume masih akan tetap membacenye dan menscrolldown lagi window ini.

haa.

betul kan betul kannn???

hahah. perasan.

okay, nak start mengarut dah.

hari tu tengah syok3 perut kenyang suka hati lepas dinner ayam goreng, sy dengar makcik DS men-suweet3 sy.

macikDS: bella, oo bella. kamu ke sini kejap.

sayeAKAbella: kenape macik? macik mimpi sy pasal sy lagi ke? (apparently she told me she had a dream about me having a boyfriend twice already. SCARY)

macikDS: ape plak mimpi kamu. ni ha, nak cakap. macik tengok muke kamu macam syarifah amani lah.

sayeAKAbella: ...........??????????....................

(which leads us back to this)

same tak same takkk??? maaf la yek. gambar takeberape hot tapi cun macam takhengat ni diambil pada tahun 2007. baru abes form 5. tengah sukasuki huhahuha kat cherating ngan kawan3sepasukan, tetibe lak ternampak manusie ni. chun gilak weyh, seyes taktipu. dorang ade shooting sindarela time uh. maveles. chanteekk.

since gambar tahun 2007, then latar masyarakat dan masa gambar pun, of course lah 2007 an. wajah masih nerd. pakai spek (walal skarang stil pakai spek same), gambar pun 2MP je berkat samsung E900. (skarang pakai nokia 1110 sebab navigator E65 company phone da rosak, lagi kesian weh).

key point dye kat sini.. despite kegemukan ketembaman kebulatan kependekan (tssk tsskk) yg semakin mengganas sepanjang 2tahun lalu, sy masih kelihatan seperti beliau (sh amani). sy bangge. *clap clap* dalam erti kate lainnye, sy takde la gemuk sangat pun. HUMPH. (ditujukan khas buat adam dan ridhu dan aiman dan sume3 yg takhabishabis cakap sy GEMUK, terimakasih)

teringat plak first remark kawan3 jiran sebelah sy - nabilah && echuq - on our first day kat KolejMaraBerpuaka lepas kembara kolej dulu3. (sila rujuk post sy yg tah zaman abrahah bila entah).

"you look like sh amani" (zaman3 speaking jawa dulu, sbb excited masuk IB world school la katekannn. *pukepuke*

i miss those days.. T_T

ps. just read an email from queen's university of belfast - an invitation to malaysian offer holders reception at renaissance hotel this saturday. they actually do such thing even

BEFORE WE DECIDE TO ACCEPT THE OFFER?

COOL.

it's not that he's a jerk, he just doesn't like you.

i'm on the phone and my bestfriend he's upset

you're going off about something that makes him sad

cuz you didn't get his humor like i do

he's out in town on a typical saturday night

you couldn't guess where cuz he's out of your sight

cuz you didn't know his story like i do

he wears sweatshirt you say he's nerd

he won't open up when you wish he shares his secrets

dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find

he's asking you out well honey please stop trying

if you could see that he's not the one who wants you

never there not even once so why can't you see

you don't belong with him

walking the mall with you and your gucci

i cannot help thinking this is how it ought to be

laughing at my place thinking to myself

hey this cannot be it

and you've got shoes that can alert everyone around

i haven't heard it in a while since you switched to pumps

you say you're fine i know you better than that

i feel sorry for you have to wait like that

he drinks coffee you would prefer chocolate

he won't open up when you wish he shares his secrets

dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find

he's asking you out well honey please stop trying

if you could see that he's not the one who wants you

never there not even once so why can't you see

you don't belong with him

standing by and waiting at the back door

all this time how could you not know baby

you don't belong with him

i remember you trying very hard just to make everything right

he's the one who makes you cry when you wish that he just die

i know your favourite brands and you make it very clear

that i cannot afford them but do you think he gives a damn . .

[ you don't belong with him - but i didn't say i do ]

what's with the SASQUATCH.?

googled it, but only found something to do with bigfoot.

Bigfoot, also known asSasquatch, is an alleged ape-like creature purportedly inhabiting forests, mainly in thePacific Northwest region ofNorth America. Bigfoot is usually described as a large, hairy, bipedal humanoid.

-taken from wikipedia-

and this.

so.??

ANYONE.???

impakMAKSIMAcutisemester2.

1. copy award di atas utk letak dalam blog anda
2. nyatakan 5 fakta menarik tentang pemberi award ini
3. 10 fakta atau hobi sendiri
4. 10 penerima award & describe dieorang

5 fakta yg takbegitumenariktapisayeMENARIKkanjugak pasal fara [yg sgt jeneres kasi award kat sy]

1. fara suka tidur. lagi spesifik, tido kat surau an-nur blok e. lagi lagi spesifik, tido kat surau annur blok e malam exam fizik sem 2. layann.
2. seperti kawannya yg meng-award-kan beliaw award ini, najat [tah sape2 tah.sori, sy xknal] fara juga sangat sengal.
3. kawan2 yg nak stay up dgn fara kat surau time exam, jgn lupa set alarm, sebab fara kalau sedar lepas tetido kompem sah2 xkan kejot kawan beliaw dan dgn bangganya menonong masuk bilik tanpa perasaan bersalah.
4. fara ex mrsm taiping - sy baru tau hakikat ini apabila terperasan beliaw asyik bekepit dgn syakirah [jgn risau, fara ckp dia STRAIGHT]
5. fara letak name sy no.1 dlm list penerima award ni.smpai skrg sy musykel kenape...
   

5 fakta yg mungkinmenarik mengenai atiq [yg sy baru nak buat.sorryyy]

1. atiq dak imtiaz dungun. kitorg jumpe time outreach sc dgn. comel jeekkk.
2. sy aja atiq add math, pdhal addmath sy lintang pukang kelam kelibut jgk tyme fom5 dulu.nasib baik mazhab sy xsalah.
3. kawan baik sy aka mr.S suke sgt kat atiq.hehehee:))
4. 1st impression sy psl dy, atiq ni swit. sgt2. tp mcm garang pon ade.lol
5. atiq suke senyum. senyoman yg bisa bikin cowok2 cairrr.

10 fakta tentang saya selakupenerimaawardyghebbatini.

1. sy dak ib yg selalu mencipta fantasi fly tanpa perlu menduduki ib final sem4 krg.
2. sy gila shoppink walaupun keadaan jarang mengizinkan. (bukan financial, tp geographical factor)
3. sy dah bosan tgk samsung sgh-e900 uh. ada siapa2 nak belikan handphone baru untuk sy?
4. sy pemalas.tak suka study. benci3!
5. birthday sy tinggal beberapa hari lagi.kawan2,mainkan peranan andaa.
6. sy rasa sy seorang bakal doktor [melihatkan jurusan yg diambil di kolej mara banting laa]
7. tapi sy tak suka biology. menyampah betul tgk dna replication, transcription n translation uh. menyusahkan.
8. sy juga tak pernah buat hospital attachment. [org kata dak medic wajib buat??]
9. sy xbuat hosp atchmnt sbb sy tak suka bau hospital. dan ubat.geli! pemandangan manusia2 berseragam putih juga menakotkan saya.
10. kesimpulannya, sy tak tau kenapa sy masih berada di kolej mara banting, membuat persediaan ke luar negara dalam jurusan perubatan IB08/10..!!

10 orang yg takmungkinmemakihamunsayakeranamenerimaawardini [mungkin kerana mereka tidak pernah wujud]

1. daisy buchanan, isteri tom dalam tuan gatsby malay a1
2. de moivre yg telah mencipta teori nombor kompleks
3. encik calvin dan kitarannya dalam photosynthesis
4. encik kreb [bukan pemilik crabby patty] serta kitarannya dalam cell repiration
5. pak guard yg takberapanakkuros di kmb
6. pegawai2 bank di mana sy akan cuba menjalankan portfolio statistics sy nanti
   
7. pn. ayuslina dari pejabat mara yg pasti akan menerjah kmb membebel ttg rsult sem2 yg mantop!
8. macik koop dan nasik lemak koopnya
9. macik dobi yg masih menerima bakul sy walaupun bukan giliran blok e anta laundry
10. encik maslow, herzbeg, mcgregor dan taylor [sy budak bisnes]

****//impak IB semakin maksima nampaknya//****

mentang2 jap gi paper english...

hand shaking malay a1 and english paper 1 - checked.

left with english paper 2. [in less than half an hour]

and chem paper 1 and 2. tomorrow.

wah tak saba nak cutiii~~~!!!!!






post blog kat lrc. desperate gilee;D

perasaan sangat LOSER.

saya tahu apa yang berlaku.

saya sedar.

sangat sedar.

semua orang di kmb pun sedar.

macam-macam reaksi mereka yang saya tak perlu nyatakan.

saya begitu aware akan perkara itu.

tapi bila orang tanya saya, saya tak tahu nak jawab apa.

saya rasa bersalah.

seolah-olah saya hanya memerhati sahaja tanpa berusaha membetulkannya.

saya rasa sangat tidak membantu dalam hal itu.

saya sibuk, peperiksaan semakin dekat.

dia pun sibuk.

tapi kenapa sibuk dia lain macam?

ada sesiapa boleh tolong?

sekurang-kurangnya bagi saya semangat.

saya tak tahan.

perasaan sangat loser melihat orang yang sangat dekat dengan kita semakin jauh.

jauh khayal entah ke mana-mana..

"kami sangat sayang kamu, sebab itu kami ambil tahu"

jangan simpan jarum patah dalam peti.

dalam hidup ini...

kamu ingat dua.

kamu lupa dua.

maka ingatlah;

1. kebaikan orang lain kepada kamu
2. kejahatan kamu kepada orang lain

dan lupakanlah;

1. kebaikan kamu kepada orang lain
2. kejahatan orang lain kepada kamu

KENAPA SUSAH SANGAT NAK LUPA YANG NO. 2 TU EKK??

kamu.

kamu jangan buat muka macam itu.

macam kamu tak bersalah aps-apa.

saya geli.

saya tau saya hot.

satu²nya perkara yang sangat best apabila anda perlu menjadi maskot TWISTIES ialah..

tiada siapa dapat menafikan bahawa anda sangat HOT.

dan SPICY.

betul. tak tipuuu.

eco-friendly 12th april 09

national planetarium

joker²

apabila haiwan dan manusia dan pokok serta twisties yg sgt HOT berdrama..


rama² sangap buah. errr lemon??

hot. sangat HOT. die hard fans. kott~

"jangan ke mana². kita jumpa lagi selepas ini"

joker masuk rancangan selamat pagi malaysia kat rtm..

on stage.

syahid. penat. masih hot.

[i really think highly of myself, do i?]

orang² hijau.

journey to the center of the hexagon.

CAS is proven to be time consuming, money consuming, and worst of all - good for nothing.

last saturday, me and my PDK-mates went to bukti cerakah with kids from pdk kajang.

what happened were..

1. i was deeply bothered by one of the psychotic kids who thinks that i'm his girlfriend.

2. the other group going to pdk kajang [group c] now knows about 'our not-so-secret affair'.

3. my skin was burnt under the scorching sun.

4. i had rashes due to excessive sweating in the stupid hideous CAS shirt.

5. i literally burnt my own pocket by spending RM17 for the sake of CAS.

6. i learnt nothing from the trip- the weather was too hot to be appreciated as one of the nature's element, and i never liked kids. external CAS fortnightly is enough lah!

something is surely wrong somewhere

the blue team

pdk proteges with their mentor (in purple)

outshining the pdk kids. yeah!

...

noble people doing noble job

and the journey to the center of the hexagon was continued on the next day (sunday)..

"GROUP 4 PROJECT"

since we were doing on spa fish, here how it went..

kenko fish spa, midvalley

feeding the fish (gile sangat geli!!)- i was laughing hard at first, rolling on the floor (literally)




happy feet




clockwise, from bottom- me, aiman's, ridhu's, tqah's (horrified by the fish!)





the two mpp's indulging after a long day at school (hurmm...)


jason mraz..???

glad it's over....

and i ended up with another hole in my pocket since that spa thingy cost me rm38, plus rm100++ for radioactive bag and sweater, and rm 100++ for food. (midvalley is proven to be a NO-NO to do your research)



note: NO FISH WERE HARMED IN THIS G4 PROJECT (thank god)

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

two holes in my pockets, and i'm still million miles away from the center of the HEXAGON.

lame tag~~~

1.what have u been doing recently?
group 4 discussion psl fish spa smlm. Gelabah jepp..

2.do u ever turn ur phone off?
not really. Unless majopp. Gee…

3.what happen at 10 a.m. today?
err it’s not even 9am..??

4.when did u last cry?
last nite. Memalukan.

5.believe in fate/destiny?
in a way, yupp3.

6.what was the last song u sang out loud??
can’t remember.

7.do u have any nicknames??
bella. yadda yadda yadaa..

8.what time did u go to bed last night?
3am. Handphone sangat mengganggu kehidupan pelajar IB.

9.are u currently happy?
standard. Feelingless.

10.who gives u da best advice?
umi && ayah. Though they always say things I don’t wanna hear :#

11.what/who was the last person to make u laugh?
KN’s bro, on our back to college. man, he's hillarious!!

12.who was the last person u missed a call from?
mr. 180º

13.have u ever had ur heart broken??
who didn’t?

14.do u have a crash on anyone?
crash or crush?

15.what is the colour of ur room?
baby blue with a touch of pink.

16.who was the last person to hug u??
mommy. Before she left.. T_____T

17.did anyone see da last person u kissed..
yupp3. cakap KLIA..

18.what is da reason behind ur profile song(s)?
the name itself is BELLA’s lullaby..???

19.who was da last person u saw in ur dream?
can’t remember. Don’t even want to remember.

20.last time u smile?
just now? Mcm fake jep.

21.favourite website?
is there any..??

22.what are u doing tomorrow?
class. As usual. 8 to 2.20. sy kanak2 IB.

23.what do u thing u are like?
err. THING??

24.who are u missing right now??
umi && ayah && kakcik && afiq && adam !______!

25.what are you doing right now?
staring at baby lappie when everyone is busy discussing their g4 project.

26.why are u doing dis test?
ATIQ..!!! sile3 jawabb.

27.at which age u wish to get married?
18- da telepas arr..hua3

28.what havu u done regretted doing in ur whole life?
I never regret things. What done is done.

29.how do u feel right now?
beyond words. I miss my family… badly.

fenomena 'dalam'biasa di kmB.

the world does not revolve around you.

kmB does.

i've been watching and observing people for these past few days.



mereka sangat sibuk. sangat banyak urusan2 duniawi yg perlu diselesaikan.



sy pun sibuk jugak. atau mungkin buat2 sibuk. atau mungkin jugak sibuk yg dibuat2.



paling jelas dan terang lagi tak payah nak suluh:



1. semangat EDI. sy terpaksa tunggu kawan sy meeting EDI sampai pukul 6.30 ptg untuk dinner sama2 sebab lauk ayam goreng kt DS.

2. ramai kawan-kawin sy dah tau siapakah gerangan pen pal mereka. sgt megujakan. tp bukan sy. pakcik anonymous akan kekal begitu sehingga revelation day. harap2nya.

3. standardized chem test baru habis. dan sy confirm sah2 hilang markah kat soalan last, [4markah tu]- example of heterogeneous catalyst and the reaction. cikgu, bukankah ini topic test KINETICS??



4. DS asing kaunter kanak2 tahun1 dan tahun2. rasionalnya? menu kami berbeza. diskriminasi.



5. eco green project tangguh lagi. sy harap kerajaan batalkan terus benda alah itu. banyak sangat alasan.



6. glamorous retro night kat blok e hujung minggu ini. semua orang sibuk2 cari baju polka dots and stripes??



7. sabtu ni pergi bukit cerakah, shah alam. bawak kanak2 pdk. bosan. sangat bosan.



8. group 4 project kami pasal spa fish. maka secara manualnya, kami akan ke sampuoton spa di petaling jaya dan melaburkan wang dengan sgt banyak pada hari ahad ini. nasib baik sy memang sangat suka spa.



9. esok cas. pdk kajang. dan saya semakin tidak menyukai aktiviti external cas ini, kecuali atas alasan tak payah masuk kelas.



self evaluation: i'm losing my sense of humour. i'm becoming bitchier each day. i talk less in my room. i'm getting more and more selfish. i feel sick of the people around me and all their fake smiles. [how do i know if they are fake?] in short, i'm turning into a freak. total freak.

"ignorance is a bliss"

dia sangat jerK.

you idiot perasanbagustaktaumalubajethot.

you know i'm usually not this berkire when it comes to money.

but when it comes to you, every single thing counts.

so, i want my 50 bucks back!!

[if there is one person in kmB that i can chop into pieces, or even better,

put arsenic in his food so that i could watch him die slowly in excruciating pain,

and bleed to death, the person would be truly madly deeply YOU]

she betrayed me. yes, it's a SHE.

dear you.

we both know that i cannot say this right to your face. i don't have the strength. it's because i love you too much. i don't want you to be hurt. i don't want you to feel bad. i don't want you to feel awkward.

we both know that something is there, but it is unspoken. you owe me a explanation, obviously. but i don't need it. i was hurt enough by your act, and i don't think i can take any more from your words.

we both know what exactly was going on, and yet, you still did it. you did the most unacceptable thing that i could never think of. you made it like it was nothing. i'm not putting all the blame on you. but in a way, i think you should know me better.

we both know that i care about you. and i love you. and we share things that we will never share with others. and the fact that you really mean a lot to me.

but just in case you don't know, i am deeply hurt by what you did. you were the last person on my mind that could ever do such thing. but you proved to me that i was wrong. i may forgive you. but i will never forget what happened. and sorry dearie. i don't trust you. not anymore. you don't deserve it anyway.

thanks for finally showing your true colours.

the girl who can't be moved.

the voice within: bella, can you please get your butt off the bed,



and start packing??





and keep your baby lappie out of sight, please??







bella: i need a pusher.. [in the most pathetic tone ever]









kenapesusahsangatnakbaliksekolahek?

these tears will dry on their own.

awak,

saya dah bosan ngan awak.

bosan.

sket2 gado.

pastu majop.

pastu pujok.

then gado balik.

penat.

awak tawu tak???

tolong.

jangan call saya lagi.

sudah.

[walopon saya tawu awak memang xkan baca post ni..]

[sebab awak cakap blogger xde life. mengarott sume.]

[AWAK INGAT SAYA KISAH??]

don't be so gelabah

cuti salah.

.

tak cuti lagi la salah.

.

kalau tak cuti, semua bising. kecoh2, bila lah nak start cuti. lepas tu siap ada yg kononnya dah xboleh nak concentrate belajar sebab lama sangat xbalik. saturated la katekan. dah xboleh masuk dah! i need a break- cewaahhh. test math susah. dah blank. lepas test math kne unwind. balik la maknanya. skali habis test math, heaven. dah xboleh fikir pasal bende lain lg. rumah je!

.

kalau cuti, bising jugak. bising sebab bosan. sibuk2 cakap duduk rumah xtau nak buat apa. lepas tu, mulalah buat public statement. hari ni bosan la. life is soo boringg la. post kat mana2 yang boleh post. friendster. myspace. facebook. ym. blog pon post jugakk. nasib baik xboleh kasik kat posmen jep. kalau tak, habis semua encik2 posmen xbuat kerja. sebab BOSAN. padahal homework melambak. lepas cuti ada test stats, chem, bio.. tapi semua buat derrkk je. ada jugak yg siap plan, nak keluar, tgk wayang ke, shopping ke. yg ni boleh dimaafkan lagi. sebab kmB mmg tadak wayang, dan xboleh nak shopping. tapi kalau dah plan nak main futsal kat mana tuh, apa kisah? macam la kmB xde court futsal. walhal hari2 boleh turun main. yang main dota pon satu hal. kmb sikit punya gempak dota, kat luar pon nak men-dota jugakk? haish, nak buat mcm mana. duduk rumah tersangat la bosan!

.

tapi rakan2, jangan gelabah.

ini fenomena yg teramat sangatlah biasa bagi pelajar2 kolej.

.

termasuk saya.

.

kerana itulah anda sedang membaca entry ini.

.

sekian.

harap makngah.

.

.

.

.

[kebosanan kemelampauan kemelandaan]

we take turn to fly, because someone has to sit and watch and wave goodbye.

i've been stalking around some blogs, and finally came up with a conclusion.

SPM 2008 is quite a something.

nope, i'm done with school. completely. [IB world school is an exception to the rule]. and i couldn't care less about the spm results. go ask around? sorry, just not me. i still remember, i once referred those white pieces of paper as reSLUTS.

oukayh. i was young. and mean.
[i'm not getting any older, so i'm still mean]

but what is actually going on nowadays? students are after s0-many-A's-i-can't-remember-the-subjects. what are those A's for? what exactly these superduperextremelygeniuswithhugesupermassivebrains want to prove?

not long after the results were out, i received a text message. it's from a junior.

"k.bella,bleh bg tips cmne nak g interview x?"

"mak aihh. smgt gile. result baru kua. lepak r lu. lau kne pggil bru tny kot."

[sorry, i couldn't bother to ask about the results]

"xde la. ingt nak amek IB gk. sbb tu tny k'bella:)"

[nothing to display]

sorry honey, i'll text you later k. [disgusted already]

IB?

HA-HA-HA

dear superduperextremelygeniuswithhugesupermassivebrains out there, do you guys have any idea on what IB is? or what exactly IB is offering? and even worse, do you guys ever consider about the economy crisis that has been an issue all this time? well, if you don't, then let US [the IB-ans, specifically at MCB] tell you. we are more than worried about the flying stuff. hell worried. worried sick. we still have another 2 semesters [that is equivalent to one extremely vigorous year] before we finally FLY. [i emphasize on the word FLY because that's just THE WORD]. and yet, we are already worried if the gov run out of money and stop our scholarship and send us to local universities.

and you guys are thinking of going abroad???

take a break.

let us FLY first. safely. soundly.
[minus any brain injuries that most probably will occur during our 2 years stay].

but still.

kudos for all the extremelyexcellentreSLUTSachievers.

[i'm still young. am i?]

*emotionally-driven entry.mid IB crisis.post maths test syndrome.whatever it is*

anyone else but YOU

Your part time lover and a full time friend,

The monkey on the back is the latest trend,

I don't see what anyone can see,

In anyone else,

But you

...

Here is a church and here is a steeple,

We sure are cute for two ugly people,

Don't see what anyone can see,

In anyone else,

But you

...

We both have shiny happy fits of rage,

I want more fans, you want more stage,

Don't see what anyone can see,

In anyone else,

But you

...

I'm always tryin to keep it real,

Now I'm in love with how you feel,

I don't see what anyone can see,

In anyone else,

But you

...

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of the train,

I kiss you all starry eyed,

My body swings from side to side,

I don't see what anyone can see,

In anyone else,

But you

...

The pebbles forgive me,

The trees forgive me,

So why can't,

You forgive me?

I don't see what anyone can see,

In anyone else,

But you

...

for some unknown reasons, i'm in love with this song:)

where art thou?

i miss brunei. still.

i miss the food. the delegates. the hot debates. the pickup lines-[forum 1 delegates should understand this:]

yet, now i'm home.

yeah, home. which home? let's just call it as a home. for it has always been one [i'm crapping, obviously]

and for me, home doesn't mean family. not anymore. neither mom's cooking. not even close.

home=

1. house chores- including sweeping the floor and cleaning the toilets [yes, it's toilet with an S]

2. trying hard to find something to eat, or die starving

3. locking myself in the room with mr. lappy

4. letting the idiot box stare at me- literally

5. swimming in the bed til drowned, for there's no point of getting up

6. taking care of the laundry- i miss makcik dobi!!

7. do nothing.

i guess i'm still in the air. day dreaming. wishing that my family would be there when i'm home.

i feel so unloved.

love is a four letter word printed on a goggles shirt