Wednesday, January 29, 2014


It's when you're alone that you start to ponder on life and all its blessings. A speck of dust. That's what we are, really. My first time back in Malaysia since earning the title 'wife' and I'm not sure if I really like it. Though I would say I'm doing pretty well.

Life is a blessing. Everytime (most of the times?) after prayer in my duas, I'd try to say it first - Thank you Allah, rather than jumping straight to 'Kau berilah sekian sekian..' There's nothing wrong with that, really. But I just feel that when I start it with counting my blessings, it makes me realise how much I've got. Cukup. Be enough. Contented. Isn't that what matters most?

I've been down with fever since day one of arriving KL. Still am. The last time I checked, I still have the temperature. Jujurnya, jauh dengan husband for the first time added with the fever is not what I expect from being home. And thanks to jetlag, but I've been waking up at 4am and I'm pretty sure that my feverish state doesn't agree to this. But I have enough. For the first time after so long.. We get to be all seven in the family. Now how often can I say that? That there are seven of us in the family in one place.

I have enough.

I talked to Ayah about things that I couldn't tell anyone, and he listened. And I realised how our mind are still very much alike, how he has the same thought as mine.. Now how many people can say that? That their father is their friend who listens to their thoughts.

I have enough.

Then my exam results came out in the email.

I definitely have enough.

Yesterday I went out with my mom in law, just following her around doing chores. Now how many people can say that? To have a date with your mom in law without the husband. To meet the in laws without the husband and actually looking forward to it, without a tiny fear of awkwardness. 

I have enough.

And we talked about how life brought us to where we are now.. About how things are going.. It makes me realise. I have more than enough. My life is not perfect at where it is now, but I'm grateful. I am more than happy. There are bumpy rides every now and then but it gets me back on track. And if that's what keeping me on the ground, then be it.

Everyone has their own struggles. One of mine is to feel enough. To be enough.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014


Some random thought of the day --

What if for every blessing that Allah gives us, it comes with a test as well?

Macam mana kalau setiap nikmat yang Allah bagi, Dia bagi dengan ujian sekali?

Alhamdulillah. I'm home. Home as if, home.

For all that's been happening, Alhamdulillah. I thank Allah. 
And thank you for everyone's dua, directly, or indirectly. 
For you people reading this, thank you.

Semoga dengan setiap ujian Allah yang kita kena, 
kita ingat nikmat Allah yang selama ini tak pernah kita kira.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

In transit.

I'm baaaaaaackkkkk!! Well not back back,  but back la somehow.

Been sooooo caught up with stuff since exam (even before!) that I can now finally sit and write something phew.

I actually went to Turkey for over a week right after exam. Packing, what packing? I literally threw stuff into my suitcase few days up to the departure date! Came back to Leicester last night with just my handbag because they left our suitcases in Zurich where we had our transit, grrrr, but that's a different story. Anyways, since I came back almost empty handed, I couldn't think of a single thing to do other than switching on the heater and bundling myself up in the duvet because it is soooo freaking cold here in the cold land! How la all my stuff still not here so how to unpack? D:

And to make things a little bit more interesting, I have another flight to catch this afternoon at 4pm to Belfast. Again, packing, what packing? Haha! Just got here last night at almost 10pm and I'm leaving again today at 4pm. Leicester is just another overnight transit! Undeniably the context of being back here is debatable hmm.

Warm greetings from Istanbul! 
(actually now from Leicester and soon to be from Belfast, lol)