Yang baru kahwin tiga tahun setengah.

Baru baru ni bersembang dengan kawan di Malaysia, nak kahwin akhir tahun ini katanya. Alhamdulillah, suka saya mendengar, maklumlah sudah banyak cabaran yang dia hadapi, baik dalam kehidupan mahupun kisah hati (isu mahu berkahwin). Sempat juga dia minta tips berkahwin memandangkan usia rumahtangga kami sudah lebih tiga tahun.

Kami (saya dan Adam) berkahwin pada usia yang sangat muda - 22 tahun. Masa tu isu kahwin awal masih belum dibincangkan, malahan tidak wujud pun cerita kahwin dalam kalangan kami. Kawan-kawan kolej semua tidak menjangkakan bahawa kami akan nikah begitu awal. Jujurnya kami juga tidak ada perancangan awal langsung, cuma ye lah, Allah sebaik-baik perancang. Masa tu saya tak ada instagram, facebook pun boring2 saja. Dan disebabkan hashtag tilljannah, relationship goals dan yang sebagainya masih belum wujud, kami tak ada expectation tentang majlis perkahwinan kami. Marilah ambil yang wajib iaitu nikah semata. Wang hantaran, dulang ada berapa memang langsung takterfikir. Bridesmaids apatah lagi, lagipun masa tu saya bukannya ramai kawan perempuan pun, haha.

Kami decide untuk bernikah pun hanyalah bermula sebulan sebelum. To be more exact, selepas result peperiksaan semester 2 saya dikeluarkan. Masa tu kami dua-dua macam, "yes, it's a sign, boleh kahwin dah." Haha, yakin sungguh. Jujurnya tak sempat nak risau pun baju warna apa, orang ramai nak cakap apa, betul ke kami memang nak kahwin ni, saya ni takreti masak langsung dah tu nanti nak makan apa, memang tak sempat. Semuanya berlaku sangat pantas. Keluarga Adam datang ke Sarawak (masa tu parents saya tinggal di Sarawak, walaupun kami ada rumah di Kuala Lumpur), dan seterusnya kami uruskan hal-hal perkahwinan sendiri.

Masih ingat lagi kami ke Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman mencari baju kahwin. Prinsipnya cuma satu, anything that fits me will do. Sebab saya agak kecil, nak cari saiz memang susah, nak nak baju siap. Makanya bila kami jumpa kebaya warna cream tu, terus kami decide, we'll get married in cream. Dan kemudian cari baju melayu Adam.

Kamilah yang kehulu kehilir mencari imam di Masjid Taman Melati, minta tarikh yang sesuai memandangkan kami akan bernikah di masjid, bulan puasa pula tu! Tarikh yang ada hanyalah dalam bulan puasa sebab abang saya akan bertunang lepas raya, dan lebih kurang seminggu lepas raya kami kena balik dah. Tak sempat tunggu lepas raya pun. Ye, kahwin bulan puasa memang buat ramai orang angkat kening, tapi imam masjid tu relax je cakap, Islam tak pernah larang kahwin dalam bulan puasa, cuma kena kuat iman lah, haha! Lawak pun ada, memandangkan kami sangat muda, masih belajar, tiba-tiba nak kahwin. Bajet guna duit sendiri pula tu, yakin sangat! Adam je lah guna duit sendiri, saya masih menumpang kasih ayah ummi :D

Alhamdulillah, semua selesai. Rasanya bajet keseluruhan tak sampai 3k untuk nikah dan sedikit makan-makan buka puasa di masjid. Sebenarnya dalam bajet tu cincin kahwin saja agak mahal lah, lepas tu saya hilangkan di Iceland pula, adoi. Tapi Alhamdulillah, kami bahagia. Tenang. Walaupun sampai sekarang kami selalu terfikir, perlu ke buat reception sebab dah 3 tahun lebih kahwin. Mungkin patut buat aqiqah je nanti, hehe.

Pesan saya pada kawan yang ingin berkahwin tu, pertama sekali betulkan niat. Wait sebenarnya pertama-tama sekali ialah restu mak ayah - ini sangat penting! Kalau mak ayah tak bagi kahwin lagi maka hold dulu, pujuk lagi dan lagi, bentangkan hujah lagi dan lagi. Terutamanya kalau nak kahwin muda. Saya kurang bersetuju kalau berkeras mahu kahwin awal tapi restu ibu bapa ke laut. Sebab keberkatan itu datang dari redha mak ayah. Alhamdulillah parents kami one of a kind, even Ayah bila first time bagitau nak kahwin tu, reaksi dia "Awak dah bagitau MARA ke belum? MARA cakap apa?". Tak sentimental langsung -_-" Anyway point dia, mak ayah datang dulu. Tau.

Seterusnya ialah, niat. Well niat dan restu mak ayah ni sebenarnya seiring sejalan. Betulkan niat. Tanya diri betul2, kenapa nak kahwin. Takperlu pun niat terang2 nak kahwin sebab ini itu nawaitu segala. Cukup apa yang kita rasa jauh di dasar hati. Benda ni memang ada, percayalah. Jenguk dalam hati, tanya betul2 diri sendiri, kenapa. Dulu sebelum berkahwin saya takpernah terfikir tentang niat. Yang saya tahu cuma nak kahwin dengan Adam, haha. Tapi bila saya tengok buku nota kelas2 agama, atau refleksi diri yang saya scribble, banyak yang saya tulis tentang betapa hubungan kami (couple) ini salah. It doesn't feel right anymore. Saya bangun solat malam minta doa berguni2, tapi secara dasarnya saya dalam hubungan yang haram. Sudah lah kami dua2 di overseas, walaupun tinggal berjauhan, masih tetap berhubung. Jadi bila saya reflect balik kenapa saya sangat mahu berkahwin masa tu, ialah kerana saya mahu redha Allah. Saya mahukan ketenangan berdoa pada-Nya tanpa rasa bersalah menanggung beban hati mencintai lelaki yang bukan muhrim ini (ha, gittew). Ummi saya juga pernah berpesan, jangan niat nak kahwin sebab nak elak maksiat, sebab akhirnya itu sajalah yang akan dapat - elak maksiat. Kahwin bukan sekadar untuk elak maksiat, kahwin ni untuk selamanya inshaAllah, maka betulkan niat, apa yang kita nak untuk selamanya. Deep sikit.

Yang ketiga saya pesan, ingatkan diri tentang kebergantungan sebenar kita pada siapa. Saya pernah jumpa seseorang yang memang mahu kahwin kerana merasakan hidupnya tak gembira, tak cukup katanya. Berkali-kali saya pesan, jangan niat mahu kahwin untuk bahagiakan diri semata, nak-nak di awal perkahwinan. You don't get married to feel complete, you get married to complete each other. Ini juga silap saya dulu. Mula2 saya takfaham kenapa Adam macam ini macam itu, kenapa susah sangat dia nak faham apa yang saya mahukan. Saya demand macam2, ye lah, semua mahukan the perfect husband/wife kan. Apa yang saya tak sedar ialah, he is just as flawed as I am. Kebergantungan saya pada Adam sangat tinggi, expectation menggunung, sampai lah saya sedar, kebergantungan mutlak itu sesungguhnya hanya pada Allah. Ini sangat betul terutamanya kerana kami tinggal berjauhan di Belfast dan Leicester, (bayangkan Langkawi dan Kuala Lumpur), jumpa pun hanyalah sebulan sekali lebih, dalam setahun mungkin kira-kira 15 kali berjumpa, itu pun dalam 4 hari setiap kali datang melawat masing2. Kebanyakan masa saya memang bersendirian, independent, jadi kalau saya bergantung pada Adam untuk bahagia/gembira, dalam setahun tu hanya 15 kali lah saya bahagia, tak gitu? 3 tahun long-distance. Masa tu lah saya belajar bahawa kebahagiaan mutlak hanya pada Allah. Ketenangan hati hanya pada Allah. 

Being married makes me realise two main things,

1. You are in-charge of your own happiness. Should you decide to put it solely on your spouse, once your spouse makes a mistake, there goes your happiness. Should you decide to put it in The Almighty, then inshaAllah your happiness will always be yours, so long you're in the remembrance of Allah.

2. Nothing beats parents' love. Take my word -  nothing, no one. Their love is unconditional. Doesn't mean your spouse's love is inadequate or insufficient, it's just a different kind of love. It was only after I got married that I truly understand my dad's words, "We love you not the same way others do". Nanges.

ootd baju kahwin Jalan TAR, recycle untuk raya 2 tahun kemudian

03.02.2016 - Yang baru kahwin 3 tahun setengah,

Hold the fortress.

"Go marry someone you know, marry someone you have seen his disappointment and anger, and you know you can handle it. Go marry someone you truly love." - Mat Luthfi

I'm writing this as I sit in the living room contemplating whether or not I should go to clinic this morning, while Adam is peacefully dozing off in bed, marking the start of his enviable 8 days straight of annual leave.

I've seen that man at his high before. In fact, I first truly get to know him when he was at his peak in college. Things only got better when he started medical school. Holding the title of a President for two years in a row for two different societies, setting up a legacy where things were never done before, this man is amazing. He believes he could take on the world if he wants to.

Then for a split second the wheel turned around. After years of glory and a smooth-sailing journey, He was at the darkest pit that even thinking about it scares me now.

For a while, disappointment and anger were his new best friends. I faded into the background, becoming more and more invisible as time went.

"Hold the fortress."

It was easy to just crumble and fall apart as he went down, for it hurt me as much as it did to him. 

But hold the fortress.

Because this man, this one great man that you chose to marry when he was at his high, will somehow, at some point,  have his low side. And to keep holding the fortress when it doesn't look as glorious, as promising, is the promise that you unrealising made when you chose to marry him. 

And because this man, this one great man, is that one greatest thing that has ever happened to you. 

That one greatest thing that I can truly say, mine.

Cohabiting: Quick update.

I am so unwell it hurts.

Now now, having disappeared for nearly 2 months and suddenly coming back whinging of being unwell? What have I become? *cries at the corner*

A little life update in general. I'm so swamped with things. Suddenly we are forced to become adults the moment we moved in together. (And I thought having our own place together would be nice and dandy). Haaahhhh.

Nevertheless Alhamdulillah we're settling in quite nicely. The other day Adam called Wan (his nenek) just to update her on stuff when suddenly Wan asked,

"Duduk berdua tu, tak gaduh ke?"

In which Adam replied, "Mana ada gaduh Wan, sayang je."

Kahkah, sweet bakhang. Iyo lah tuu. Apparently quite a few people have been wondering how we're getting on with our cohabitation progress. Even Lin's mom (Lin was my housemate last time, with Nadd) was wondering the same as she knows I pindah rumah to live with Adam.

True enough, while a lot of people around our age were gleaming and beaming and excited (we are, too!) for the big progress in our relationship, the older generation (actually takde lah tua sangat, more like the wiser ones) saw it more of a transition into a completely different world.

Betul wehhh. I think sejak hidup berdua ni kerja I ialah maaaaaasak je. Kalau dulu duduk sorang makan lauk sama 3-4 hari takde hal, sekarang rasa macam, mana boleh, mesti lah nak serve husband yang best best kan.

Camtu ha.

Kan dah geli.

Haha. Still, other than the fact that I have been so unwell since the last few days, Alhamdulillah things are good. They're so good that I don't even have the time to write! (Alasan tak nak kalah).

I'll end this quick note with a little anecdote.

There was a day when Adam and I went to Asda (a hypermarket, equivalent to Tesco and stuff) to buy some groceries and things. We ended up spending more than we should and it made Adam a little unhappy, I guess. He then asked if it's normal for me to spend such amount on groceries.

I thought he sounded accusatory (as he was the one who paid for them) and took it rather bitterly, by saying that I can pay as well, money isn't really an issue. Needless to say, we spent the night being cold to each other, not saying much.

The next morning he saw me taking morning shower and washing my hair (which I rarely do in the morning, too lazy to use hairdryer). He then asked if I wanted to use his hairdryer or mine, I said it didn't matter (rather blatantly, plus the cold tone). Next thing I knew was this.

He actually took the time to set this up, find the extension, plug it in and put the hairdryer there. Of course by the time I saw it he's already left for work, and I was left with a guilt.

It reminds me of this saying,

"Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, 

doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have."

He could choose not to do this, but he did it anyway. This is his way of saying I love you. Like how he does all the laundry once I've left to Northampton. (YES I'M ON OUTBLOCK, AGAIN).

I'm writing this to remind myself in the future, that how simple things can be an act of love. Jangan asyik nak merajuk emo tak tentu hala je, tahu?

Really wanted to show around our new place, but it's not quite done yet, so I'll leave you to the view of my room in Northampton.

This will do for now, haha. Til then!

The stars lean down to kiss you, and I lie awake and miss you.

Was randomly hopping music videos on youtube, when this played.

Vanilla Twilight - Owl City

I realised the song was released sometime in 2009. Since then it has been on my phone as Adam's ringtone. Since the stone age of my pink Samsung til my current iPhone. Since we first got together. Since then. Til now.

And that's more than 5 years of listening to the same old song whenever he calls. 5 years, that's a heck of a long time to have the same song on your phone. Lol.

The lyric's pretty much about a person missing the other half, although I'm not too sure if it's a separation by death or by distance. 

"I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because
When I think of you
I don't feel so alone."

This song kinda makes me sad, though. It's like a reminder that this distance isn't going anywhere, that I'll still be listening to it fairly often. The words cut deep.

A little trivia - Owl City's lead singer is Adam Young.

"Oh darling I wish you were here."

Hashtag AdamBella.

I was going through Adam's PC aimlessly when I found this. 

Our wedding pictures bahahaha I'm always very reluctant to look at our wedding pictures because of how I look in heavy makeups. Don't get me wrong I really love the look, just that sometimes, I think it didn't feel like me at all! Like, siapa kau?!?? Pfft. Dramatic.

Also, I know I wore a poker face during actual nikah. Like eveerryone said that. Muka serius gila macam nak cari gaduh. Takde perasaan habis. Like this.

By this time dah ada perasaan sikit..

Although in my defence, my poker face was only captured when I wasn't looking. Deep in thought katanya. 

Contohnya, kalau pose untuk camera gua senyum okay. See??!?

Anyways, compared to this guy..

Amboi abang seronok la tu nak kawen

Haa kan manis senyum macamtu. At least ada la jugak hint senyum malu malu sikit. Ini future wife muka ketat habis tekanan apakah, siapa yang kena lafaz akad sebenarnya? Kahkah

Paling epic, muka yang ni.

Ummi kemain sedih, and I was.. Sad man. Like really really sad. The moment they said 'sah', it hit me that my parents were no longer my priority. Somehow this man that I've only known for 3 years was taking over that place. It dawned me really hard that I felt.. Numb. And I can be rubbish at displaying my true emotions anyway, hence the ultimate poker face. Although I'd prefer to call it the okay-I'm-not-sure-what's-gonna-happen-next-help? face.

In all honesty, panic okay? Like, okay sekarang dah jadi wife orang so what's next? It was so awkward that masa Adam wanted to kiss my forehead I backed away sebab awkward gila, like siapa kau nak cium aku??!? Kelakar gila. Even the pictures of that moment look awkward..

Anyway, what made my day is this!

Another reason why I kinda dread looking at our wedding photos is because I believe there's not a single shot of us with my parents! (Long story). Turns out Kak Ina actually took this shot at some point! Nanges. I owe her my life okay!

Sorry lah kena tengok close up muka kitorang. Camera mahal pulak tu, habis semua zoom in nampak segala pori pori cela di wajah. 

No regret.

Few days back ada orang tanya, if I could turn back time, would I do anything differently?

Yes, kawen lagi awal. Wahahah.

In all seriousness, I would still marry this guy, a thousand times over.

And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

8th March 2015

5 years and 5 months.

65 months -- 

and still madly in love with this guy, every single day.

Wait for me to come home.

Tonight is one of those nights when I just want to silently cry and dwell in my emotions for no good reasons.

"Wait for me to come home."

- Photograph, Ed Sheeran

As you turn 24.

As you turn 24
You start to wonder, you begin to ponder
Where this road is taking you once school is over
Do you stay in Belfast where everything is familiar --
-- Or seek the comfort of a wife in Leicester --
-- Or even perhaps go back to your root, and serve em taxpayers.

As you turn 24
Your features soften, your smiles widen
You find yourself laughing a little more often
And goof on your wife of being pregnant
There there, little do you realise what actually happens
Maybe it's time to think of having children?

As you turn 24
You cook healthily, you go to gym
No more oily junks, just grill or steam
As you become more consistent, in pride you beam
As you become hunkier, the harder it seems
To take my eyes off you, with my naughty grin.

As you turn 24
You drool on cars, not that you hadn't before
It just seems more possible, that Audi A4
But a wife who wants an A6 is probably going to make you poor
You wonder if teaching her cars was a good idea after all.

As you turn 24
You pay for more things as I stand there and watch
You still do chores like putting laundry in the wash
Never did you whine, neither did you dodge
Sometimes it makes me feel guilty just a tiny little notch
But to be the luckiest wife alive, I feel posh.

As you turn 24
You cook the best rendang nevermind the paste
But still asks me how to cook chicken to your taste
Not that everything I cook is always the nicest
So at times I wonder if you're just being courteous
But oh well, it's not everyday I can be a cook genius.

As you turn 24
You still call your wife your baby gurl
Gurl with a 'u', it's completely intentional
It drives me mad but I find it adorable
It makes me break my grammar nazi rule
It's the child in you that makes you playful.

As you turn 24 this year
It's nearly 5 years we've been together
You do realise, it's a long time to annoy each other
Still I love you all the same and perhaps a little greater
We've come this far, we've taken it further
And I know in distance do our hearts silently suffer
And that I never get to be there on your birthday doesn't make it any better
Still, we persevere
For in this love of ours, do the hearts find pleasure.


As you turn 24 this year
I wish it will be your last birthday without me, ever.



Happy 24th sayang,
-- Your Bella.

08/10/2009

4 years.

48 months.

208 weeks.

1456 days.

34944 hours.

"With all those times
We sat and dreamed of life

Oh how the future it could be

The flawless drawings of beauty."

My Heart Will Wait, Joe Brooks

I can write a million reasons why you're my favourite.

I can write a million reasons why you're my favourite.

Like how you hold me tight in the morning in bed while your eyelids flutter
Refusing to wake up
Refusing to let me up
And we end up counting stars in our half-asleep world.

Like how you don't mind paying for everything when we are out
For you know how much I hate carrying my purse around
And we end up calculating how much do I owe you, everytime.

Like how you give me a doubtful look
And worry about what the figure would be
Everytime I say I want to jump on the next day plane
And we end up buying the tickets anyway
And you never refuse to have me. Never.

Like how you praise every single thing that I cook
Even if I cook them to my taste, and not yours
And you would say I make the best nasi lemak ever
Everytime, every single time, they are always better.

Like how you are such a blur when it comes to technology and gadgets
And I'll pretend to be an IT expert
And impress you with my humble knowledge on computer
And you would think I am your IT saviour.

Like how you try to get me into KPop
And fail miserably
Everytime, every single time
With the hope that I change my mind
When you know I won't. Ever.

Like how you do your own laundry and fold your own clothes
Because I choose not to learn how to do them in your way
And we end up folding our own clothes because we have our own preferences.

Like how you come to bed early despite not being sleepy
Because you know I hate going to bed on my own
And we end up tickling each other making stupid jokes for half an hour before finally falling asleep.

Like how you always want me to come with you
Always, al-freaking-ways
But still end up saying
"Tapi kalau awak rasa nanti awkward, takpelah, kita faham"
Because you know, being around people is not my best thing
And I end up not going.

Like how you ask for my opinions
When it comes to big decisions
Despite knowing that we love to challenge each other
And my words may not be in your favour
But still, you ask
Because it's the asking part that matters.

Like how you hold me tight when I cry out of frustration after an argument
And stay still, in silence
And put away all our differences
Because we know life is not just about rainbows and roses.

Like how your eyes sparkle when you talk about your ambitions
Though you know we might not share the same visions
Though you know I'll bring you back to the ground
But we'll end up settling for a meeting point.

Like how bright your face lights up
When you talk about Umi
When you describe her in every possible word you can find
And bring me into the family
Wholeheartedly.

Like how you refuse to talk about others
For the fear of mengumpat and fitnah
Though you know sometimes I just want to share stuff
Still you remind me
There are always three sides of a story.

Like how you are such a cheapskate
Because I am, too.

Like how you ask me not to cry
When all I do is cry
And laugh all the same
And you still call me beautiful
And still mean every word of it.



I can go on and write a million reasons why you're my favourite.


With one of them is you being you.


-- Happy 23rd, husband.

To a better us.

At the age of 23 where wisdom is scarce and vainglory is too common, I have the most wonderful husband anyone could ever ask for. 

Speaking of, we’ve hit that one-year mark of our marriage! A milestone that is. Alhamdulillah!

Three years of courtship plus one year of marriage, and I’m still crazy over this man. Talk about head over heels craziness. He still gives me butterflies, as much as he gives me headaches, of course. 

Last time whenever we hit that anniversary or monthly countdown (yes, I used to count each passing month), a sense of pride and achievement bloomed over me. Look how far we’ve got! Pseesh, how naïve I was. 

This time, I had quite a reflection of where I am now. 

One year and I’m not entirely sure of what I have achieved. 

I’m still not a good wife, far from perfect. My ego is still mountain high. I don’t think my humility has by any means grown over the past one year. I’m still struggling with my own definition of modesty. I’m still forever contemplating if I should style my scarf the way I really should, or the way I want it to be. I still cry to sleep some nights because I don’t know how to share my feelings in words like a normal human does. Worst of all, I still have McDonalds. 

One year, and I’m still here. 

On a brighter note, one year, and I’ve only had four McDonalds. Soo.. Err.. Yeay? 

Life is a constant struggle --

I have to admit; I once thought that marriage would make me a better person. I couldn’t be more wrong. 

Being married motivates me to be better, but it doesn’t change me per se. 

You choose to be better. You choose to change. The “Aku terima nikahnya..” wouldn’t mean a thing if you didn’t intent to make it something. 

For instance, to wear scarf in front of my in laws. I had this conversation with a friend once, about how hard it is, especially when no one in the family does it. I remember telling Adam how I wanted to do it because I didn’t want to start being comfortable with not covering myself like how I am with my cousins now. I couldn’t bring myself to wear scarf in front of them because I’m too used to not to. 

How ironic that I am stressing over covering myself in front of my in laws, when I still go out to hang the clothes or get the mails or even open the gate, with my hair exposed. 

Good thing is, I now contemplate when it comes to wearing scarf and covering myself properly. Never mind the relapse, contemplating is already something! Success rate, that’s a different story. Baby steps, people, baby steps. 

One year. 

Each passing day is a bliss, each passing moment (whether or not we annoy each other) is a gift. To a better us ---

I love you husband. 

Undying love.

For the two most beautiful women I've ever known..

This one goes to my very own mum in Sarawak.. I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH! 

And this one's for my MIL in KL! Or should I say.. Selangor?

Oh well at first I wasn't sure if I should buy her flowers. I'm guessing that flowers aren't really her thing, so I went for the chocolate instead. And I made the right choice yay!

Anywhoo, I looooooove the fact that both the flowers and chocolate are in pink and purple. Tooooo much love!

Dear mums, I love you two sooooo much that I pray everyday you're showered with His blessings and all the happiness in the world! And may He look after you like how you've been looking after us for the past 22 years, and another forever more to come.

"The greatest gift that a mother can give is life."

Thank you for the undying love. 

I couldn't be more blessed.

Tears.

"Tears I shed without anyone seeing. Tears I wiped away so that you wouldn't know."


//


Hello Leicester, I'm back.

Dear future.

Soundtrack in Dear Future 

(search Bernard Hiew on FB and his video, Dear Future)

Dear future Bella, you love him enough to let your freshly washed hair smell of ikan bilis from cooking dinner just now. Remember that twenty years from now. 

Or maybe, remember that tomorrow.

Unconditional love in London.

Just got back from London after a very tiring hectic panic at the disco (??) weekend, yet my best weekend everhh in the UK!! Because guess what?

Umi was here!! My mum in law, that is. Ramai sangat Umi confuse la pulak hikhik. She was here since Friday night, leaving early on Monday morning (YES I IZ SADS LIKE MADS SOBS)

Anywhoo, I took the train to London arriving at 10pm last Friday, whereas Adam took the flight straight to London Gatwick. We met at Marble Arch underground station after a surprise gone wrong lol. Doesn't matter, the effort that counts darling!

But one thing that I thought reeeeaallyy cute was Adam was so very nervous to see Umi! It was cute and funny too since last year Umi came to London and Adam buat tak tau je (yes how could he I know!?) and this time around he was actually nervous about it! And Umi was being her usual self, cool, calm, and chill je. When she first opened the hotel room Adam was practically speechless! Dah macam jumpa first love pun ada hahahaha! But to be honest, I was over the moon too. Having your mum in London was just.. Too good to be true.

We spent the remaining time of the night (yes, remaining, because we got there at almost 1am!) by just sharing our winter travel stories. The three of us curled up in bed looking at the pictures with Adam being the most excited one (as always) until Umi was too tired to layan us and went to bed. Despite having to sleep in his sleeping bag while me and Umi shared the bed, I'm pretty sure Adam had the sweetest dream of all ;)

The next day we went to Las Iguanas near Waterloo for lunch because Adam just wouldn't stop rambling about it since he first had his Las Iguanas in Leicester the weekend before.

And Umi loves it tooo!

Oh by the way some of the pictures are already on my Instagram hence the square effect lol and some others are raw - taken from my iPhone, hence the high noise level. Nevertheless, the memory of it is too priceless :')

Love from London!

More love from London! Hahaha we were going down the escalator at Marble Arch underground and just had to make this panic roller coaster face! Love love love looove this picture eventhough I look the 'brown'-est of all. Nak buat cemano dah nama pun Melayu.

Another roller coaster look hahaha! 

Looove the food!

Nachos for starter - "This is a big deal," says Umi. IT REALLY IS!

Umi's big burrito.

Of all the mains we ordered, Adam's Blazing Bird was still the best. Soooo people, two sure things to order at Las Iguanas would be the Blazing Bird and their Virgin Fizz. I didn't take the pictures since I've had them a few times before but because I'm so kind (and evil to make you drool heh) I dug up the pictures from Leicester branch where we had them. Yums!

The Blazing Bird with Vivo gravy.

And their Virgin Fizz!

We took our sweet own time eating and ended up spending two hours at the restaurant. BURPS.

Then we took a stroll along the "river" (?) Sorry I'm not a Londoner I'm so bad at remembering places! :S But you know, that sungai thing along Big Ben at the Westminster Bridge Road, where there's also the Eye of London and stuff. Took some nice family pictures, but they're all in Adam's phone. GRRR. Somehow we felt very tourist-y despite we're both in the UK (even me myself, one hour from London lol) and the fact that Umi was in Imperial College London in her teenage years (she's still very young btw ;) made it even funnier. In fact Umi being a Londoner herself was the one who showed us the way.   Yes she still remembers! Dah tu nak buat cemano anak anak tak boleh harap langsung lol.

And later that evening..

We went to Royal Albert's Hall!

Yes the grand majestic Royal Albert Hall people! Alaa that place where Siti Nurhaliza became the first Malaysian to perform there tuu. THE PLACE WAS AMAZING. We actually went there for Cirque de Soleil, an acrobatic circus thingy tour. And guess what, IT WAS AMAZING. 

Quoting Adam, "They wouldn't have it at Royal Albert's Hall it it weren't amazing."

How we got there was another funny story. Earlier that day we were wondering what to do and Umi was saying that she saw this Kooza - Cirque de Soleil poster in the underground. And Umi herself, having been to the similar show in Macau some time ago, found it very good, hence suggested that we go there in London. But it was already 1pm back then and the next same day show was at 8pm. After many attempts to find the tickets me and Adam finally found three non-split tickets and were so very excited but that time Umi was in the bathroom and we were all panicking because the ticker was going fast and Adam was jumping around asking Umi if we should grab it. IT WAS HILLARIOUS. Umi told us to get her credit card in her purse etc but Adam being such a very good son (and I guess he never really bought concert tickets with a ticker on the webpage so he panicked more hahaha!) used his card first. And beggars can't be choosy, so we landed ourselves at among the most expensive seats in Royal Albert Hall. I guess we're not beggars after all. But we would be, if not because of Umi.

At the hall while waiting for the door to open, Umi was telling the doorkeeper that it's our first time and she wouldn't be here in London for long, so she's giving her kids a treat to this show. And the doorkeeper went just like, "Lucky kids."

We truly are, indeed. Kalau bukan sebab Umi jangan haraplah kitorang boleh masuk Royal Albert Hall, duduk front seat, watching such great show. Thanks Umi :')

It's actually forbidden (woah the word!) to take pictures in the hall at any time, but because I'm a rebel like that, here are some very sloppy pictures taken out of rebellion and fear of getting caught lol.

Like any other live shows, the performers (or rather, the magicians?) would pick on some audiences to go on stage and do some stuff and make a fool out of themselves and whatnot. And us sitting among the frontest rows were such an easy target, with Adam sitting at the aisle. To be honest me myself was kind of scared if I were to be picked, with Adam no less scared that I was hahaha! But Umi was soo cool soo chill sooo lepak she could wave back grab a balloon cheer up and such when the performers were looking for some 'victims'. Looking back, I guess me and Adam hadn't lived our life full enough, not until we could sit in a live show without the fear of getting picked. After all it's Royal Albert Hall!

So next on the bucket list, to be picked and go on stage in a live show!

The place was such a grand majestic hall, and the show was fantastic. Yes go watch Cirque de Soleil at some point of your life and have your pockets burnt at least for once. Worth every penny, I tell you.

Done for the night. Time to go home! The classic London bus ride :D

The next morning, Umi went to have her breakfast at the hotel restaurant. Yes, just Umi because me and Adam were only sneaking around in the hotel room when the room was just meant for a single person. Because we're rebellious like that lol.

And this is our morning activity.

Was snuggling cuddling lazying around when Adam suddenly pushed me away and said, "Okay dah, Power Rangers dah start." OMG SERIOUSLY??!? But we had fun screaming GOGO POWER RANGERS together hahahahhaha!

The rest of Sunday was spent with just us three lazying around cramping in the bed. Or perhaps, the two of them since I wasn't too well. Oh yes masa ni lah nak sakit OH GOD WHY. Told them to go out have lunch without me because I couldn't leave the room, but turned out that they went to grab some takeaway fish and chips and we had our takeaway lunch in the room together. I felt sooo loved :')

The three of us berguling bergolek atas katil watching Harry Potter on Sunday afternoon before everyone dozed off to sleep. Hahaha!

That night I felt a little better, and we went out for dinner at Maroush Restaurant near the hotel.

Despite his effort to 'merendahkan' diri and be at my height, I am still waaaay shorter than him. Pfft.

It was snowing that night, which was something we weren't really looking forward to.

But then again it was that night when I saw this soothing familiar sight again.

Adam would always hold Umi's hand when they walk together, even when we were still dating. Sometimes he'd put his hand on Umi's shoulder and Umi would be relax je chill as usual. I find it too cute considering Adam is taller than Umi, yet he's a child again when he's with her. When there are three of us, he'd be in the middle holding our hands on each side. Sometimes I even wonder if it's hard for him to divide his undivided love for us.

But my mum once said, 

"Lelaki even kalau dah kawen pun, his mom is always the first. So remind your husband that his mother comes first despite whatever, and you'd have to understand that. But you, once you're married, your husband is your first priority. As much as I love you, I understand that whatever happens, you have to turn to Adam first."

Sekian tazkirah rumah tangga kali ini. Lol.

Truth is, I know I am so blessed to have this amazing family. And I can only thank Allah for that.

Now back to Maroush (lol)

For a Lebanese restaurant, the food was okay. I've been to some Middle East restaurants in KL, near Jalan Ampang and at Setapak (because that's where Pak Arab sangat ramai), and I couldn't say the food at Maroush was better. They tasted the same, back in KL and here. But maybe it's because I'm not really a big fan of Middle East food, hence the boring remark.

Umi's flight to Dubai was at 9am on Monday, so she had to leave the hotel by 4am. When she woke us up before leaving, that sudden pang of sadness kicked in. It was the same feeling when Ayah woke us up at PV8, telling that the cab was there and he's leaving. Sedih yang macam, okay, so lepas ni we'll be on our own, again, macam tu? When she left, me and Adam were like, numb. But us being us, went back to sleep and forgot everything and woke up later at 11am. Kalau dah nama anak tuu. We do what kids do. Mehh.

Checked out just before 12pm, feeling like we owned that place haha! Well it's not everyday that we get to stay at a luxury hotel in central London, all paid for (thanks to Umi and the company haha), and checked out like a boss, so might as well act like one lol.

The lobby.

Where we stayed, The Cumberland, just by the Marble Arch underground station. And it was still snowing, with some rain. Typical London weather, I guess.

And next, food hunting (again)!

Ikan keli masak sambal with paru goreng and telur masin for lunch at Malaysian Hall. The only time where Malaysian food is a luxury!

And all these managed to cost us £18. It's like having two plates of nasik campur for lunch, at the price of almost RM100. You people in Malaysia, be grateful. And again, we had to forgive ourselves for the price because there's no way we can get such food again.

The rest of the afternoon was spent at Malaysian Hall. The warden's house, to be exact. Had another round of lunch with Kak Na and Abang Man (the warden) and had Farzan to join us later on. It's the only place we'd crash in when we're in London with nowhere in particular to go. We're not really a big fan of London afterall, so to us London always means Malaysian Hall and of course, bugging Farzan for direction and stuff lol.

My train back to Leicester was at 8.30pm on Monday, while Adam's flight at the same time leaving from Stansted airport. We parted ways at King's Cross St Pancras where he continued his journey to Tottenham Hale and further up to Stansted Airport, while St Pancras was where I had to catch my train.

The familiar sight of London St Pancras, where reality kicked in again, hard.

It was the most amazing weekend I ever had in the UK, and I never felt more loved. You know, I sometimes sit back and ponder, what did I do to deserve such an amazing husband, with amazing in laws and all. Like how Umi always uses "my kids" when she's referring to us, not "my son and his wife" or "my daughter in law". It's love, too much love. I never really thought I could love my other family the way I do now, but I've had my fair share of days with them, like my first Raya, and I could say the love is just too much. Like Umi said, "We are family."

When at the hotel, we were exchanging pictures through WhatsApp and all, and Umi sent me this.

Said she made this while she was playing around with her Galaxy Note. And these pictures were taken two years back, when me and Adam were still dating. Am I too blessed or what?

Family, familiar faces, familiar unconditional love.

Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah.