Saturday, April 30, 2011

Are you just trying to be (a) polite (Malaysian)?

In case of nothing to say, SHUT UP.

You don't really want to talk to them, but you have to stay and make kind faces and respond to every word they say, because you can't make yourself say that you need to leave.

You compliment the food made by others simply because they say nice things about yours, when the fact is actually your taste bud can't function properly.

You tell them how you have been missing them all this while, just because they tell you they miss you, when the fact is actually their absence has never affected you that much.

Are we being too polite to the extent we change our own virtue, or are we just being civilized?

We, Malaysians are known for our politeness and courtesy.

"Hai kak, jemur kain?" (jiran sebelah rumah menegur jirannya yang sedang menjemur kain)

"Beli ikan kak? Rajin memasak nampak?" (kat pasar, terserempak dengan office-mate tengah pilih ikan)

"Eh, makan makan, sila3." (nampak member tengah makan kat cafe)

Orang cakap berbasa-basi. What we say to each other is actually what is obviously happening. Memang lah akak tu tengah beli ikan, nanti nak balik masak, takkan beli ikan lepas tu jual kat restoran suruh masak ikan tiga rasa pulak kot? Jemur kain pun dah terang3 sah, tambah lagi bila tengok orang tengah makan. Cakap pasal makan, kita sikit punya semangat "Eh, makan jum? Sila3." walhal dalam hati bukan nak ajak makan sangat pun. Sebab kalau member tu duduk makan sekali, angin jugak.

Ah, typical Malaysians.

But I don't think that's anything compared to those who actually 'tambah nasik' when people are talking about others. X is complaining about Y, and Z purposely adds things up.

X : Aku bengang betul lah dengan Y, cakap banyak, kerja tak jalan.
Z : Haah, betul3, hari tu pun cam tu gak, dia bla bla bla..
X : Oh, kau pun same ke? Huh, memang sah lah, cakap berapi bla bla..
Z : Eh kau tak tau ke satu department dah tau Y memang camtu bla bla..

Kan dah jadi sesi mengumpat. Walhal isu dia sikit je, X cuma nak meluahkan rasa tak puas hati kat Z. Kalau Z dengar je tak tambah nasik, kan settle. X puas hati, conversation ends there.

Why do they really have to tambah nasik? I have my own theory.

  1. They have the same issues but couldn't voice it out. Once ada orang start, apa lagi, let go jugak lah.
  2. They are trying to appear interested, being polite. Karang tak respon tak syok lah. Bosan.
  3. They are trying to blend in. Imagine semua orang cakap pasal Y, takkan kau nak diam je?
  4. They are being themselves - some people just like to talk bad about others. It makes them feel good.

Tak boleh ke kalau diam je, angguk3 sikit, dengar, then cakap, sabar3. Being a direct person myself, I wonder why is it so hard to confront someone you're having issues with. When someone come to me and complain how they're disturbed/bothered by someone else, I would (usually) ask, "Have you told them?"

But we, Malaysians (especially the majority ones) don't really practice directness. Sometimes being direct can lead you to unwanted catastrophic disaster. Being sacked, losing friends, for example.

Come to think of it, are they even your friends in the first place? You can't even be direct with them, they won't know how you feel. Is that how you describe friends?

But of course, there's no right or wrong here. I must admit, my directness sometimes causes uneasiness in others. Blending in pun satu isu. So agak3 lah. Whichever fits you best. Just don't lose yourself to others just for the sake of, you know, being polite.

When you're disturbed about something, and the urge to talk to others come, ask yourself, do you really want to let go what's inside and ease yourself, or you're just looking for some juicy gossips and find attention.

When someone come to you and whine about something/someone else, as you're about to reply, ask yourself,  do you really have an issue with that someone/something, or are you just trying to be polite and say bad things as well so that the person you're talking to feels better.

Are we trying to be so polite that we lost our own virtue?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Dear stranger, we were invincible, remember?

Feelings change. They fade. They leave. Feelings belong to people, and people walk away. That's what they do.

Life is a cycle. Once a stranger, the next minute they mean the world to you, the next next minute, they're gone. Back to where you were. Strangers.

Stage 1: Meeting
Can't we stay? As strangers? The safest option. We've been living without each other for all our lives. For all we can remember, without even knowing each others' name. Just when I meet you, nothing much, you're just another stranger, the same goes to you. But wait, there's something about you. You seem different. I'd like to know you better. If we stay as strangers, then we won't get to know each other. I won't know how fascinating you are. You won't know how amazing I can be for you.

Stage 2: The Chase
The fun part. Stomach, meet butterflies. Exciting, full of adrenaline rush. We are so young, we are too crazy in love. Yes, it's love, who could ever deny that? We were invincible. You want me, come get me. Endless phone calls and texts, sleepless nights on empty talks with deep laughs. Hide and seek. Peek a boo. I'll do whatever you do, you'll be wherever I am. You're so perfect, don't you have any weaknesses? It's impossible to resist each other. So why can't we stay at this stage when life feel so good? No, if we stay here, stop here, then you won't be mine. I won't be yours. That's not good because someone can easily snatch you away from me. You're precious, I can't simply lose you.

Stage 3: Honeymoon
Finally, you're mine. We're safe with each other. No one can ever break us apart. My secrets become your truth. Your plans become my future. As we learn deeper about each other, we reveal the parts of us that have been hidden all this time. We start to see each others' flaws, but hey, that's okay. Isn't love is about accepting each other? Let's stay here then. But wait, if we settle down here, where's the future? Life has been so beautiful, let's go through some hardships a little bit further. I know we can make it. We're invincible, remember?

Stage 4: Comfortable
Towards entering this stage, I'm so glad that I have someone like you. Someone I can pour my heart out without worrying if I'll be judged. My hair can go out of place, you'll still see me beautiful. You can live unshaved for two weeks, I won't mind the scratch on my cheeks. We're good. You can play online games 24 hours, I'm cool with that. I can go out shopping having fun with my girlfriends, you won't mind. Don't feel bad about not sparing enough time for each other. We know we love each other, we're good staying as who we are. But this comfort doesn't seem right. It's too flat, nothing much exciting. Let's find the 'butterflies' again, shall we?

Stage 5: Tolerance
Where art thou, butterflies? Why, everything feel so plain, so usual. Have you lost your charm, darling? I'm sure I'm still the same. Wait, what did you just say? That you've been putting up with me and I'm the one who changed? Okay that sure doesn't seem right. But honey, we'll let it pass. And you're tired as well, let's not make this a big deal. No one changed, we are just.. You know, being mature I guess? We've accepted each others' flaws in Stage 3 and it was fantastic, now let's just live with it. We're good. Just good.

Stage 6: Downhill
Arguments should be healthy since we are actually expressing what we feel, and we are seeking for the solutions, just in a 'bolder' way than discussion. We might as well find the way out faster! But why, it doesn't work that way. These arguments make us tired. We're worn out. We can scream and yell and shout, but still, where is it going? Silence hurts. It hurts more than harsh words. But look, we are doing both! We fight and argue and say things, then we go silent, isn't that double the pain? I'm aching, I know you are too. But we're too busy dressing our own wound till we forgot that we are both bleeding.

Stage 7: Breaking up
Since when we're better off on our own when we were so sure that we were INVINCIBLE? How could you be invincible without me? It's US who are INVINCIBLE. Not you, neither me! But it's for the better. We might not be invincible, but that's how human are made. To have feelings, to be broken, then get up again and fight. We can't always win. We aren't immortal. NOTHING LASTS FOREVER.

It all started when "it wasn't bad, but it wasn't great".

And then "someone stops trying".

We were INVINCIBLE, remember?

Friday, April 22, 2011

IB: Securing a place.

I heard that MARA has already released the shortlisted candidates for interviews which will be in someday next week. Do I get it right? Well, kalau salah pun, bukan I yang nak kena interview. Gelabah.
So here’s the thing. Getting shortlisted for interviews isn’t something to be so “alah, baru nak interview, belum tentu dapat”. It’s actually the very first step okay. Boleh bayang tak berapa ramai kat luar sana yang apply, academic gempak segala bagai, co-curriculum busy kalah menteri, tapi tak dapat interview? Sobs. Bersyukur lah kamu yang mendapat tawaran interview. Alhamdulillahhh.

Wear something nice. Yes, like, just nice. You don’t want to look so plain it bores the interviewers to sleep, like a baju kurung tudung selempang macam tu je, or kemeja dengan slack, done. At least pakai lah tie barang sekeping. Give the interviewers an impression that you’re highly motivated and eager to be interviewed. Like, whatever happens, happens. I’m going to do the interview session and I’m going to secure a place! Ceh ayat nak poyo je wahahah. Confident. And wearing suits like a blazer and stuff like that especially for girls seem poyo, but honestly to me, it shows professionalism. Tapi jangan lah sampai beli suit dua tiga ratus untuk interview 20 minit. Itu tindakan kurang bijak namanya. Baju kurung is a safe option, though. Wear light, but don’t afraid to go bold. I think something like a dark red shirt with a black suit shows how ‘bold’ you are. LOL okay ni dah masuk personal experience ni. Huh. Kesimpulannya, biar sedap mata memandang walaupun yang meng-interview bukanlah bakal mentua.

First impression.
Confident. Seriously. Is. The. Key. Believe it or not, the moment you open the interview room door, you will be assessed. Like how you walk, how you make eye contact, how you greet, how you shake hands, how you sit even! Take a deep breath before you go to the interview room. Jangan ketuk pintu macam tak makan nasik seminggu, cuak3, lepas tu jenguk ke dalam macam nak tengok dulu interviewer cun/handsome tak kalau tak aku nak cari panel lain. Apakah? Trick is, stand straight. Bow a bit once you see the interviewer inside the room. Give a nod, and SMILE. Muka jangan ketat ye adik3. And also, while shaking hands, make it firm. Salam kemas3, because from the way you salam, the interviewer can already know how you are. A loose handshake most probably means that you’re nervous. Very nervous that you’re having jelly hands and feet.  And don’t sit before the interviewers ask you to. Don’t cross your legs as well. And no leaning to the chair like nak landing kapal terbang boleh tak? Sit firm, be careful with your posture, make sure you sit, again, STRAIGHT. If you’re having a file with you, ask the interviewers if they would like to see your certs etc. Then hand them your documents. Be professional while at the same time keep smiling and NOT GRINNING. There you go. First part. Done.

Different interviewers, different interview experience.
Some interviewers prefer to play it calm and cool, while some others will try to get the best out of you. Ada jugak yang a bit psycho like my dad. He made people sing during interview boleh tak? But I guess MARA won’t do that (harap3 lah). You’re lucky if you’re interviewers are the type who keen to know and keep asking questions. If not, kalau dapat yang tanya lebih kurang sepatah dua, jangan pulak jawab sepatah dua lepas tu senyap tunggu dorang tanya lagi. Initiate. Elaborate. And kalau kena dengan interviewer yang bercakap tak habis3, and won’t let you talk, interrupt. IN A NICE POLITE WAY OF COURSE. Probably they want to see how you voice yourself. JANGAN SENYAP TUNGGU INTERVIEWER HABIS CAKAP LEPAS TU MASA PUN HABIS MACAM TU JE. Remember, the interview is all about you, not about the interviewers.

Frequently Asked Questions.
The best part. I was lucky to have panels yang sangat awesome. Two of them. They were very nice, so tak banyak hal lah. They didn’t ask about MARA organization neither much of medical stuff. Some of my friends were actually asked about MARA punya hierarchy which is like, FAIL kalau tanya I tssk. And be prepared. Have specific target. Like if you want to do Medicine in UK, tell the interviewer why UK. Why Medicine. LIKE FREAKING SERIOUSLY, HAVE THE ANSWERS TO ALL THAT. I was, unfortunately, not so prepared that time, I was more excited about going abroad than to do Medicine T_T So this was what happened.
Interviewer: If you’re given the choice, where do you want to go to study Medicine? Why?
Bella: I’m really looking forward to go to UK. They have among the best medical schools in the world, and I believe the experience gained from studying there will be very useful once I come back to serve my country.
Interviewer: So which medical schools you’re referring to, exactly?
Bella: Err. Sorry, I haven’t done any research on that yet, but currently I’m keeping my options open so that I can find the best medical school that fits me if I were given the opportunity to study there.
Kalau kau cakap awal3 kau nak pergi Queen’s University Belfast (ahem) sebab it’s in the Russell Group kan senang. Interviewer pun belum tentu tau Russell Group tu apa. Impressed, dude! Tak pun University of Leicester sebab it’s awarded University of The Year 2009 (bagi candidate basi lah HAHAH), kan seronok dengar. They might not know what exactly you’re talking about because mainly they’re from admin, not medical background, but at least you show that you have done your part by doing the research. Be focused and impress them!

Nak type pasal interview essay, plus ayat tipikal untuk cover bila interviewer tanya soalan yang taktau jawab, tapi dah penat membebel. Nanti3 lah sambung lagi.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

IB: Kolej MARA Banting.

Image source: Google

Let’s continue on our IB discussion. (suka betul cakap pasal IB, I pun taktau kenapa)

What IB is like at Kolej MARA Banting (KMB)?

First, I think KMB is more like a school rather than a college.
Korang ada lecturer, kitorang ada cikgu.
Korang ada assignments, kitorang ada homework.
Korang ada coursemate, kitorang ada classmate.
Korang ada baju cantik pakai pergi kelas, kitorang ada baju kurung kasut hitam T_T
Korang ada cafeteria, kitorang ada DS (Dewan Selera).
Korang ada hari yang takde class, kitorang hari3 pergi kelas 8am-2pm 5 hari seminggu tak miss T_T
Korang ada gap between classes, kitorang ada waktu rehat fixed 9.40am atau 10.30am.
Korang ada lecture hall, kitorang ada classroom.

Dan lain3. Pendek kata, memang sekolah habis lah. But that’s the beauty of KMB. Touching :')

Daily routine
Class starts at 8am, ends between 12pm-2.20pm. Biasanya kalau hari yang balik pukul 2.20pm tu hari horror. Dah la balik lambat, lunch lambat, kalau makan ayam kat DS sure tinggal yang taksedap je. Lagi tragis kalau lauk habis wuwuwu. Petang, usually free je, unless nak jadi kiasu datang class/libary (it’s called Learning Resource Centre, LRC), boleh jugak. Kalau ikut Bella, memang biasanya stay lah. Solat Zuhur kat surau lepas lunch, then balik class semula. Sebab dah tau kalau balik bilik sure tido. zzz. Stay sampai Asar, then solat kat surau and terus dinner. Nerd, I tau. Tapi kalau balik bilik memang confirm tak jadi keje weh. Malam plak, kalau rajin atau ada group discussion, pergi lah LRC. Kalau rasa nak menggedik, pergi KFC (KMB Food Court) lol. Itu je kot. 5 kali sehari, tak pernah miss. Ceh dah macam solat fardhu pulaknye. Khamis malam Jumaat pulak ada ceramah, wajib. Walaupun selalu je ponteng huhu tak berkat der. Weekends, kalau tak swimming atas katil, outing, tak pun balik umah. Tapi nak outing/balik rumah kena book, bagitau warden siap3. See, sangat sekolah kan? :’)

CAS stands for Creativity Action Service. It’s one of the vital elements in IB that you must do in order to obtain a Diploma (other than TOK huhu trauma der). Biasanya kalau cakap pasal CAS, memang sangat sinonim dengan volunteering charity work walhal benda lain pun boleh claim CAS hour. Trend kat KMB ialah bila Year 1 memang gila CAS hour, sikit3 ajak member buat service rumah anak yatim ke apa ke, tak pun hospital attachments, dapat jugak CAS hour. Tapi bila dah besar sikit aka Year 2, tak pandang dah semua tu huh. CAS ada banyak, External CAS, class-based CAS, entah apa3 lagi CAS lah. External CAS is what you do fortnightly at the assigned centre (mine was PDK Kajang) while class-based CAS is your class project.

Hospital Attachments
At first I was told that it is compulsory to do at least one hospital attachment while you’re at KMB. This applies to Medic student. But me, being a so-so premedical students, I had my attachment at Ampang Puteri Hospital. Amik kau, private siap. Memang takleh buat apa lah. Tengok je dokter, lepas tu bosan, mengantuk, tunggu pukul 6, blah. Wahahah sekadar ada record attachment sudah. But if you ask my friends who did it at government hospitals, especially teaching hospitals, memang terbaik cakap lu. Ada yang siap boleh masuk labour room. Kagum weh. Walaupun kalau diberi peluang I taknak pun huhu.

Tak cukup dengan CAS segala bagai, we also have extra curricular activities like JPAM where we had to kawad3 kaki tapi disebabkan sambutan kurang menggalakkan daripada student, program ini dibubarkan sebab kena boikot. Hahah hebat gila batch kitorang boikot JPAM wak lu. Then there were clubs and societies – tapi kena pandai pilih. Sebab tak semua pun cam jalan. And kat KMB clubs/societies bersepah. Pilih je mana nak. Memang sesuai untuk memantapkan masa anda.

International Programs
Dah nama lagi world school an, so apa lagi, jalan lah. I had the privilege to be in Fish for Life (a humanitarian project we did in Jogjakarta) and to Borneo Global International Conference held at Brunei. Other projects would be Cambodia project, so far that I can remember. Tapi kalau untuk yang kiasu dan manusia3 hebat, boleh la masuk Olympiad, boleh pergi Jepun free. Huuuu. Basically if it doesn’t involve academic much, then the ground rule is simple – you have the money, you go. Sebab tu kalau tengok kat KMB, sikit3 fund-raising. Semua pun cari duit nak sponsor trip pergi mana3lah.

 Some have relationship problem. If you're an IB student, then IB is your problem. source

I had a freaking tough time doing IB. Away from family, poor time management plus kemalasan berganda, tambah lagi minat macam nak tak nak je. Honestly, kalau bukan sebab scholarship, I’m not even sure if I would stay, doing IB at KMB. But irony, because if you ask me whether to do IB or not, I would give you a BIG FAT YES. Yes, it’s tough, like really make you go crazy, gasping for air, trying to do three four things at one time, but really, bila lagi you nak test yourself? Takkan forever nak senang je? (gelabah gila walhal belajar lain pun susah jugak). You’ve heard it – IB is one of the toughest pre-university programs in the world, so don’t you want to have a taste of it? See if you can make it. Like I said to someone, let yourself SOAR doing IB. Yes, soar, bukan sore. T_T Despite all the emotional junks and craps I’ve been writing when I was doing IB (referring to the 2009-2010 entries), I would still say YES. Dengar cakap akak. Buat lah IB.

An IB student doing assignment. source

Edited in May 2013 --- I've posted another entry on IB in general, and the subjects offered at KMB. You can read it HERE. Alternatively you can click on the label IB and search for relevant/useful information - if there's any, good luck. However the latter has its own risk where you might find totally unnecessary pieces of junks I wrote during my IB years. Oh well you've been warned.

Also, I did IB 2008-2010, so yes, that's a million years ago. Things change (I know it sucks isn't it),  hence you might want to find more recent information on the glory of KMB and IB. Bahahah.

I can't believe someone Googled my name. MY FULL NAME.


I hope you searched me on Facebook as well.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

IB: What is so awesome about it actually?

Okay, since everyone seems so into this post-SPM thing, I feel like I want to gebang about mine as well.

Semua pun promote course masing3. A-Level, foundation/asasi, Matrik, UPU, semua3 lah. Tapi try mention IB aka International Baccalaureate, semua pun muka tak bersalah. APAKAH??

Let's talk IB, shall we?

International Baccalaureate or better known as IB defines its own name - Internationally Busy. Now those non-IBian must be very skeptical. Apa kau ingat kau sorang je busy? Aku buat Foundation/A-level hatta Matrik pun susah jugak. Gelabah je lebih.

So what is it about being an IB student, really?

IB as a whole
It's actually a pre-university program, something equivalent to A-level, STPM, Matriculation program and whatnot. Despite the name itself as IB Diploma, no, it's NOT equivalent to the Diploma that you do in public/private universities after SPM. So if you're applying for a job with your IB Diploma as your highest qualification, you are still referred as an SPM-leaver, which means that your salary range falls in the SPM as highest qualification range.

We have to do 6 subjects, in comparison to A-Level where they have to do 3 or 4 (another additional subject). Depending on which course you're taking, the most common distinct would be between Biology / Physics, which soon determines either you're in Medicine or Engineering stream. At KMB, the common/normal subjects are
- Malay A1
- English
- Business & Management 
- Economics
- Information Technology in Global Society (ITGS) SL
- Biology
- Physics
- Chemistry
- Mathematics
Please note that I say these are the most common subjects since now KMBot is offering different courses which I'm not sure what the subjects are.

Other compulsory subjects
In IB, apart from those 6 subjects you take, there are also 2 other things that you have to complete to get your Diploma - Theory of Knowledge (TOK) Essay and Extended Essay (EE). These two things contribute to your bonus points. Note that TOK is actually a subject that you learn in class, while EE is a research-based paper that you have to do with guidance from your EE supervisor, done outside class hour.

The highest score for each subject is 7. That is equivalent to A+. So as the point goes lower, 6, 5, 4, the grades are lower as well. That makes up to 42 points (7 pts x 6 subjects). But in final IB exam, there's something we call bonus points - which depends on your TOK Essay and Extended Essay. The total bonus points is 3, so that makes the total points for IB final equivalent to 45.

All subjects are both available in Higher Level (HL) and Standard Level (SL). Which level you have to take, again, depends on your university requirements. During my time, English was the only subject where you will have to take a test to determine if you should do HL or SL. Other subjects are usually as they are.
- Malay A1 (SL)
- English A2 / HL / B SL
- Business & Management SL
- Economics SL
- Information Technology in Global Society (ITGS) SL
- Biology HL
- Physics HL
- Chemistry HL
- Mathematics HL
But a year after, the college has decided to leave the option open- you can choose either to take English SL and Mathematics HL, or vice versa, i.e. English HL and Mathematics SL. Take note that Mathematics SL doesn't have Statistics while Math HL does.

I personally think the reason behind this is because of the severity of Math HL grades among students. So they decided to let students choose - since honestly, I would say  English HL seems to be more achievable than Math HL. Alah, macam zaman sekolah dulu lah, subjek English for Science and Technology (EST) selalu mencacatkan grade sekolah, last3 drop je subject tu, at least dapat staight A, takde B, ye dakk?

Like I said, the two main courses are Medicine and Engineering. But there are also Biotechnology, Actuarial Science, and those Geo3 thing (e.g. Geology, Geophysics). Latest I heard they are offering Sastera Ikhtisas which I have no idea apakah.

Subjects according to Courses
So what subjects do we do actually? Okay, first and foremost, we have to do at least 3 HL subjects, and another 3 SL. You can always have 4 HL with 2 SL, and I would say this is not easy but gives you a real advantage in the end. But a typical normal student would go for 3 HL and 3 SL. Two main streams - Medicine and Engineering, later divided into 3 options - Business & Management, Economics, ITGS.
Say if you're an Engineering student doing Economics, then your subjects would be Malay, English, Economics, Physics, Chemistry and Maths. Senang cite, main divider dekat Bio/Physics, then pecah lagi kat Business/Econs/IT.

So kalau orang tanya you dak apa, cakap lah I Medic Business, tak pun Engine IT, and so on. But basically course Economics memang paling laku, sebab senior cakap senang, followed by Business and lastly ITGS. I'm in Medic Business, so macam tu lah.

Biotechnology students take sames subjects as Medic, while Geo3 thing follows Engineering. Actuarial Science students are a bit special, they have to do both Business and Econs. Sastera Ikhtisas, well, memang taktau.

Most universities will need at least 3 HL, and the Conditional Offer usually lies on these 3 HL subjects. For Medic students, the requirements are usually like
- 3 HL subjects at 6,6,6
- 3 HL subjects at 7,6,6
- 3 HL subjects with at least 18 points (meaning that you can have 7,6,5 as your score)
and so on.

For SL subjects paling3 pun universities akan cakap, at least 5, or 6 or apa jelah. Tak pun uni bagi total points like, 36 points without bonus. Please be aware that this is strictly based on personal experience, and since I'm a UK bound student, the requirements stated are mainly for UK universities. I'm not so sure about Ireland, Australia, Canada, USA, New Zealand, Czech Republic and so on.

Funny how an internationally recognized program is actually not recognized by public institutions in our country. For example, once you did IB but didn't meet the university requirements then decided to go local, you have to apply for private institutions like International Medical University (IMU), CUCMS, Nottingham, Taylor's, Monash, Sunway, etc. If you want to be in public universities like UKM, UM, UPM (and so on), you have to start from scratch. Sad, isn't it?

For Diploma program, it takes two years. And be prepared to pour all your blood and sweat during that two years. Also, pray hard that in the end, you'll survive with minor physical and brain injuries.

Last but not least, this website will direct you the truest definition of IB yet. Serius. Dak3 IB yang tak usha website ni memang kesian. Sila klik dengan perasaan teruja untuk mendalami IB.


I guess that's all for now. Any dispute, arguments, nak tambah tolak, nak betulkan, feel free to let me know. I'll continue further on what life was like at KMB during my time, tapi tengok lah bila. Post ni pun dah panjang tak hengat adoi.

DISCLAIMER: These views are strictly based on personal experience. The writer did her IB at Kolej MARA Banting (KMB) for two years since June 2008 to May 2010 (08/10).

Edited in May 2013 --- I've posted another entry on IB at KMB - the routine, classes etc. You can read it HERE. Alternatively you can click on the label IB and search for relevant/useful information - if there's any, good luck. However the latter has its own risk where you might find totally unnecessary pieces of junks I wrote during my IB years. Oh well you've been warned.

Also, I did IB 2008-2010, so yes, that's a million years ago. Things change (I know it sucks isn't it),  hence you might want to find more recent information on the glory of KMB and IB. Bahahah.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

A Thank You Note.

April 16th, 2011

Mr. Adam

XXX Ulsterville Avenue

BT9 7AR 
United Kingdom

Dear Adam,

Thank you for your fast response on the completion of the ooVoo account.

I am pleased to announce that effective today, April 16th, you can call directly to my ooVoo account for a more 3D video call, replacing the lagging Skype video calls. Since ooVoo is also available in High Resolution mode, it can be assured that virtual calls will be more real and intriguing. 

However, your point of concern that ooVoo text chat is YM-like and isn't much interesting is highly noted. I would also like to add the fact that ooVoo emoticons aren't animated, making it less 'emotional' thus not so much preferred. Therefore, any text communication can be done via Skype or emails as you wish.

Such efficient, fast services is a primary concern to both of us, and this additional access will give us wider choices to ensure the quality of the long distance communications. If you have concerns about how this procedure will work, please do not hesitate to voice it out to me.

You can now reach me via 
phone call or SMS at +6019 364 XXX / +6017 627 XXX
voice call or video call and text chat at Skype / ooVoo
emails at
Yahoo Messenger at

But not Facebook.



A warm Easter holiday wish (from a company separated by eight hours time difference).

April 16th, 2011

Mr. Adam

XXX Ulsterville Avenue
BT9 7AR 
United Kingdom
Dear Adam,

It sure has been an amazing and wonderful time for us in this relationship, and I owe a significant part of that great time to you.

During this past year and a half, I have had the pleasure of seeing numerous humankind in the industry but none as fascinating as you. The sincere commitment generated by you has led to mutual respect among several couples in the industry.

On behalf of my heart, I want to thank you for the most generous thoughts you have provided in the past year and a half. Kindly be assured that your unfathomable "care but not knowing" attitude is already noted (although a bit not too favored).

This spring sure presents a real challenge for us (as what autumn and winter did), but I believe that we'll grow (old) together to continue the amazing relationship with perseverance and hard work. 

I wish you a most refreshing and full of awesome surprising things as well as much loved holiday (minus the coming performance assessment), and I look forward to expanding our mutually beneficial relationship in the next spring, summer, autumn, winter and the cycle goes on (forever).

May you fill this holiday with beautiful things (and Medical knowledge) apart from the meticulous planning for your summer (kindly read with the most frustrated tone and expression).

(forever) Yours truly,

-- (company logo)

Note: Should you require further attention and details, please do not hesitate to call the 24-hour care line at +6019 364 XXXX or +6017 627 XXXX or the virtual careline on Skype.


Ps. Kindly complete your registration in ooVoo account as the company has decided that it will bring mutual benefit as well as take the partnership to a whole new level. Your kind consideration in this matter is highly appreciated.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

You're not here but it's okay. (the perfect summer song)

A sentimental person I am (geligeli), I still keep the first text sent to me from my friends abroad when they first took off last August/September. I still have those from Belfast, Dublin, Newcastle, Leicester, Cork, USA, Manipal, Bangalore, Jakarta, mana3 je lah. Note that I wrote the cities/places rather than countries because I want to make them look many HAHAH :D Takpe, perempuan memang suka exaggerate.

But few days back, I received one from a stranger number. It's from New Zealand! From my sayang - Ciah (pronounced as Chee-Ahhh) Er. Asal kalau type bunyi cam pelik ek? Ish. But she didn't sound so good. And her text made me realize how much I missed her since we last met during IB. She didn't come to graduation so we haven't had the chance to meet after that.

And kebetulan the day she text me was actually Zai's birthday (11th April). Wah lagi touching der. Kerinduan macam ugh.

Baru perasan yang kitorang suka camwhore closeup. Tapi Ciah comel dow. Sumpah taktipu.

And this is the three of us - matching all black. Tak plan langsung, sangat kebetulan. Naluri beradik la katakan.

We have nicknames for the three of us. Ikan bilis, ikan masin, ikan keli, ikan apa lagi entah. Rasanya bukan kitorang je, entah siapa3 lagi M08A dapat nama ikan tu. But we were siblings with Zai as the eldest. And we had Ridhu as our foster Mom (jadi mak okay, bukan bapak, itu memang taktahan). Then there's Adam. Since Ridhu and Adam were so inseparable, I had to fight with him to win Adam. Sikit3 gaduh dengan Ridhu pasal Adam sayang siapa lebih. Ridhu cakap Bella anak derhaka, nak rampas bapak sendiri. Bella cakap Ridhu sangap, dengan anak pun jealous. Alkisahnya, anak dengan mak berebut lelaki. LOL. Mesti korang tak faham apa yang aku tulis an? -.-"

Tapi gambar paling mahal --- inilah.
Bella dan Ciah diskodeng oleh Zai. Kantoi belakang blok buat kerja3 macam nih.

To my dearest Zayana,
Happy 21st Birthday. Birthday present tunggu balik Malaysia okay.

You're not here but it's okay.

Alamak. I rindu korang lah. Tsssk.

Rindu lagi. Pfft.

I'm not okay, but I'm fine.

You see, I don't really tell others when I'm sad. You just have to know. it. Read my "I'm fine" carefully. If you know me well enough, you would know how "fine" I really am.

That's why sometimes I just wish that I'm okay instead of I'm fine. Because I can really be not okay but fine. Meaning that I'm fine with being not okay.

Ha. Kan dah pening tu.

I'm good at faking things. Really. And it helps. A LOT. Or else how do you think I managed to secure a scholarship to do medicine abroad? How do you think I managed to pass all three medical interviews from the universities? Minus the fact that I'm an average in studies (and the fact that I suck real bad at TOK, screw me), I made medical interviews seemed easy. I never had a single passion in medicine. I hated Biology to the core that I had the gut to make the statement "I don't like Bio" in front of the whole class when I was in Form 5. Tak cukup dengan tidur time cikgu mengajar, siap buat statement tak tahan. Yet now here I am, on the pathway of being a doctor (Ameen). I've been faking myself in doing Biology since Form 4, then to do IB preparation for Medicine for another 2 years. There goes five years of my life doing things I don't want to do. And I have like, another five years to go.

Damn I'm a good actress.

(da lupa nak cakap apa senanye)

Oh. Okay. Point asalnya ialah - I'm good at faking things. Repitisi. Penegasan. Huh sengal.

Back to the point when I'm fine with being not okay. Because I'm too used to faking things. I can be nice to the person I really despise. I can pretend that I'm all set and confident, when I am actually nervous and insecure inside. I can be friendly to everyone I meet along the way while wishing I'm invisible so that I wouldn't have to talk to them.

I know it's really hard to comprehend that someone like me who seems to be very outgoing, is actually a very reserved and "leave-me-alone" type.

Kalau dulu selalu orang bising sebab Bella tak angkat call, tak reply message, sekarang dah tak. Sebab orang pun dah malas nak layan dah. T_T

But look, this is me with the person I really sayang.

Moral conversation di atas:

  1. I don't simply miss EVERYONE. I don't say I miss someone just because they have been far for quite some time. And you can read from the tone when I really say something. I don't simply say something just because it feels the right and most appropriate thing to say. Like "I miss you too"?
  2. I'm full of expression when I'm with someone I care. Those highlighted words aren't for nothing, they indicate what I really feel.
  3. The way I type is usually the same as the way I say it - if I mean what I type.
  4. I live such a sad life. (see the sentence highlighted in red box)

And you just wasted few minutes of your life reading this pointless entry. (ayat cliche, tapi nak jugak)

I don't know why I wrote this. I guess I'm not okay being far from the people I love, but I'm doing fine. This time it's not faking - it's what we call LIFE. Like it or not, LIFE GOES ON.