Increasing productivity.

Staying at home with no fixed routine.. It's really easy to lose track of what I did/have been doing the whole day. By the time Adam comes home from work he usually asks, so what have you been up to?

Most answers will usually begin with, hmm.. think!

I have to, since then, find a way to keep track of things - be it what I want to do, or what I should do. So I came up with this.

My own personal planner/organiser.

Inspired by bullet journaling, except that I still can't seem to get my head around the concept. Given that I'm partially OCD to things, I like to have a bit of structure with my planner. Not so carefree, after all. So I came up with a layout that I thought suits me best for now. You can see on the right side things are still a little bit all over the place - I'm working on how best to tackle it. But the main focus is on the weekly spread/layout.

Note that tasks are not arranged in order of importance or time of the day. Also, I just have to break down tasks into small chunks, especially when it comes to daunting things. In my case it's always the laundry. So to make it less painful, I often break laundry to 3 things - angkat, lipat, kemas.

You can argue that they all fall into the same chore of laundry, but since I really dread doing them, I often take my own time with it. (Sometimes, too much time). Often I angkat dried clothes and dump them on the ironing board next to drying rack and leave them overnight. Or I lipat them, and leave them on the bed, alternating between bed and chair, before I finally simpan them nicely into the clothes drawer. Now that's the whole of laundry done.

Another thing that I find really useful is this little tracker.

This tracker is specific for my spiritual daily habits. Before I went on maternity leave, I was so determined to up my iman game. Work got in the way all these while and I just couldn't seem to adjust these into my daily life. So this weekly tracker helps me to get back on track.

If anything, a tick alone is enough to become my motivation. For example, I've been feeling so sluggish after asr prayer that I just wanted to skip mathurat pm altogether. But comes maghrib, my mind starts to ponder.. If I sit another 5-7 minutes longer after prayer for mathurat.. I can get another tick.

Hopefully I'll get to a point where it becomes a habit, rather than merely a tick..

Anyways, this is one of the things that I do to increase my productivity, and so far it works brilliantly. I'm continuously trying to improve the layout, probably add another few things to it. But feel free to tweak things/add different kinds of tracker, e.g. healthy eating, less spending, exercise, whatever works for you!

And oh, I learnt the hard way - it doesn't have to be pretty to work. My OCD level is quite annoying in a sense that I won't do/write/plan things if it's not pretty. So I decided to go simple with black pen and a blank book. And like I said, it works. :)

Junks, junks everywhere.

Adam's rota and mine are now officially different. We knew it from the beginning that at some point we'd have different shifts, so no surprises. But it also means we go to work at different times, and coming back too. And that naturally means no random Morrisons trip together anymore.

Which means that I find myself popping in and out of the supermarket whenever I feel like it.

Which is good, because, hey, independence!

But can also be damaging to Adam's pocket, because urm, well, eventually he pays for them all.

The receipts explain in all.

These are 3 separate trips I made to Morrisons on 3 consecutive days. Yes, 3 days in a row. And look at that amount of junks I bought!

Day 1: Walkers Sensation (big bags of crisps) x 3 bags 

Day 2: Not so much, because I was more focused in buying proper food/groceries.

Day 3: And here's the fun part.

                   Multipack Vanilla Coke x 8 cans

                   Ben & Jerry's ice cream x 3 tubs

                   Walkers Sensation x 3 bags

                   Cadbury's Hazelnut x 1 bar

I am so torn in a sense whether or not I claim them all from Adam. The junks, I mean. To be fair the crisps are more for him but still..

Who can justify 8 CANS OF VANILLA COKE in a SINGLE purchase??!?

Payday rants.

We finally have the mighty internet at home, wuhooo!

Yes we were living without wifi for nearly a month. The days seemed so long before, which actually felt good, sans the boredom of course, and now it seems like 24 hours is never enough!

Ever so grateful, nevertheless. Alhamdulillah.

Aaaand, it's also payday! Only to realise that we're not paid (yet) on the 4-day shadowing period we had at the beginning of the month. The junior doctors whatsapp group is fuming with anger, that someone actually sent a text to the Trust CEO pertaining the matter. Well of course, that's more than £300 missing. Marah okay marah. But the reply from her was encouraging, said she'd look into this ASAP. There's a massive shortage of junior doctors nationwide, and there's a pressure from the government to impose budget cut in healthcare system. Understaffed, underpaid, overworked, not safe! Aaand you get angry doctors too.

Ha, gitu.

I'll leave work at that. It seems all we talk about these days is werk werk werk and more werk.

So today is our off day. We have a few things in mind to get sorted, and a huge bulk of it is going shopping! And it's on Adam wuhoo! Actually he just needs to find new chair and possibly a new TV, but that's as exciting as things can get since I stopped wearing colours few years ago!

Yes, I actually stopped wearing colours circa 2014-2015. I don't take many ootds (in fact not at all?), but if you notice I only wear black headscarf and white top. On occasions (raya, graduation) I broke the rule as it's nearly impossible to find nice clothes, especially traditional ones, in black and white. Even if there is, they cost a bomb, which I cannot justify. At all.

Pergi kebun pun kena black and white ok.

Other than that, there's not a lot of things going on at the mo. I'm hoping to get into something new - crafts and sewing. Especially when I'm very picky with my outfit (design-wise, colour, not so much!), I hope to finally make/wear my own clothes one day. Seems far-fetched but I have actually been toying with the idea since last year. And my mom sews too! Well to be fair, she does a lot of things, which makes me feel like a minutiae in the domestic department.

And I finally took the plunge into KL dUck, haha. I have been so wanting to get the black one, but couldn't justify the price. Now that I think about it, I'm working, so what's a little £40 for a scarf.. Right? Riiighhhttt? Aaahhh I wouldn't, trust me, like, would never, get it if it's not for the KL motives. Having been in the UK for nearly 5 years now I have that immense pride of KL, so fine, I'll pay for this one! We're talking about someone who never batted an eye for the LE ones, guys. So this KL dUck is. A. Huge. Deal.

Ahh talk about money in these days.

Saw someone posted a picture of cekodok ikan bilis and now I want some. Actually last night at 9pm I went to Morrisons alone just because someone posted a picture of mushroom soup. So now I'm gonna make my cekodok in our nice little kitchen. Ooohh the kitchen, must share with you guys. Actually this new house, aaahhh major love. But first, cekodok! Iman kelaut, haha.

Hope life is treating everyone good, inshaAllah!

The Hunger Games trilogy.

So umm guys this came in the mail just now and I am soooo excited that I just have to blog about it now. Like now NOW! True, I went to somewhere nice last weekend and I would love to share it soon but that can wait - this, this is the real deal!

THIS!

I know I know you'd probably be like, meehhhh we've all finished that loooong ago. But nuuuuu it's a big deal for me because (1) I'm not a big fan of fantasies, hence my lack of appreciation towards The Lord of The Rings and even Harry Potter :| Despite how people keep saying they grew up with it, I just watched the first two movies and forgot about them - it's too gloomy to watch! D: and (2) I don't buy books. Hardly. Ever. Buy. Books. I grew up reading a whole stack of hardback Enid Blyton series and some ancient Readers' Digest magazines in the 80s - 90s thanks to my parents, but no I don't use my pocket money to buy books. Books are too expensive!

Which is a very good reason for me to be excited about this time, because I got this trilogy of The Hunger Games for £4.49 delivered. SCORE!

And and aaaaand, I have to admit now that I have a Kindle, I prefer reading on Kindle more than paperbacks. Say what you have to say about nothing beats the good old smell of a fresh book, Kindle beats them all in term of convenience. Let's face it, books can be quite heavy especially when you want to read it before bedtime and holding the pages open can be annoying if not heartbreaking - well no one likes to crack the spine of a newly bought 400 pages book :(

And I read more with this Kindle. Ahh heavenly.

Just that The Hunger Games trilogy on Kindle is waaaaay too expensive. About 10 quids or so I think, and remember how I said I don't usually buy books? Point taken.

With regard to point number (1), the second movie Catching Fire got me sold completely! I hate how they leave it cliffhanging that I just have to buy the books to know what's next. GAHHH. I remember watching first The Hunger Games on my flight back to Malaysia and thought it was so good despite people around me saying it was so-so. Then Catching Fire came out and that's it, I'm done - Must. Buy. The. Books.

Sadly though I don't dare to unbox(?) them yet or else I'll spend hours reading them straight like how I did with Tony Parsons' Man and Boy before my summer exam last two years. Yes I passed Alhamdulillah, but the guilt of indulging myself in such a good book when I should be revising was just too much!

I guess it will be sitting at my bedside looking proud like a throne, for now. And now that excitement's over, back to revision! Have a good Thursday everyone!

How I define Friday night.

Remember how I said I tend to fall asleep in the middle of a movie here? Well I did it again. It's Friday night and I'm all eager for a solitary movie night (read: pathetic). I've watched two episodes How I Met Your Mother Season 9 earlier so I might as well watch another movie.

And to make things even more amusing, the movie is also Salt. Yes, talk about Angelina Jolie fan.

I caught the movie on TV CatchUp, an app on iPad that lets you watch TV for free. An iPad movie in bed? Yes please.

Only, yes, again, to fall asleep. Halfway through the movie.

Jolie in my bed

This time, though, I believe it's not my attention span of a goldfish. It's just my bedtime, and I am one little creature of habit, as cliche as it may seem. Staying awake past my bedtime is one thing that I really struggle with, although waking up later than usual is very much appreciated.

Last weekend was a hectic one. Spent my last four-day weekend by hopping on a plane to Belfast. And having said that, of course, we bought the next-day-flight as early as 6.45am. Came back last Tuesday, so technically I have only been here in Leicester four days at most, but my feet are already itching for another travelling plan. Imagine, one super hectic full of love weekend at one point, and a solitary Ben and Jerry's weekend at another. Hence the Angelina Jolie in my bed.

Speaking of, Tsara's here! And Adam has got his car so yaaay no more taxi trips back and forth to the airport! Except that, it is that car that we went for a McD drive thru one night with the housemates -- I am still deeply ashamed by it. My faith is easily shakened by food! Grr.

Meanwhile..

Pipi dah makin beso.

The butt appreciation post.

Mylo and his love for things he can't really fit in.. And fall asleep there.

Curious little thing.

First attempt to take Mylo out of his snuggle sack onto my work desk. Kena rasuah mealworm baru jadi. Demanding sungguh.

Paris Champs Élysées

If you're wondering why French song all of a sudden, no it's not that I've been infected by Budak Timur who randomly listens to random songs in some random languages during exam period.

It's because Adam has been singing this song when we were in Paris.

Yes. He. Actually. Sang. This. 

The chorus at 0:25

And now it's stuck in my head.

Punctuality is a habit, not a one-off thing.

If there is one thing that annoys me more than bad grammars, it would be unpunctuality.

1. We set a time (let say at 8pm) and everyone arrive promptly (if late please do not turn up). 

2. If distractive conversation is made, please make your way to the nearest exit and come back once you are ready.

Dude, you're the man! (yes I was 2 minutes late for the teaching session)

On a whole different note, meet Ollie. My teammate, the LUSUMA webmaster, the founder of teachmeanatomy.net and also, a nerd.

Well, not quite. Our tutor Dr D said he is, but Dr D sometimes (or most of the times) can be very mean. So, yeah.

Oh, did I tell you that Ollie discovered this blog? And announced it to the whole team? And later made me go to the ridiculous Handwashing session done at 4.30pm on week 12 when we are having exam in less than 2 weeks time?

I don't know how I survived 21 years not knowing how to wash my hands properly.

Sajak Aku Sebuah Basikal.

Basikal baru.

Kaler pink gittew.

Perasaan sungguh jambu.

Bajet handsome lettew.

Food for soul; Hafalan Shalat Delisa.

Intro: Lagu bisa bikin homesick

I don't usually watch Malay movies, let alone Indonesian. But when a friend posted a YouTube link to the full movie, for no reasons I clicked it and the next minute I found myself watching the movie while having a late lunch.

Hafalan Shalat Delisa tells us to be strong despite what happened. Delisa is a young girl who survived the tsunami that hit Acheh on December 26, 2004, the catastrophy of tsunami that first shook the whole world. I still remember watching the live coverage of the news, I was 14 back then. And I kept on wondering how the survived ones would continue to survive, having lost almost everything Allah lent them. But then, as usual, I forgot. I forgot how Allah could simply take anything from us in split seconds, when everything could be washed away in a single swipe.

Until I watched this movie.

Not just how Delisa survived, her family (especially her mother, Ummi Salamah) way of life also touched me. The way they wait for everyone to perform solat jamaah, the way the mother advised her daughters on the values in Islam, everything. A simple yet contented life. Lepas tu terfikir macam mana lah nak jaga anak nanti heheh. Immediately my thoughts flew back home to my family. 

Anyways, the movie is beautiful, just beautiful.

Delisa survived the wave in a very subtle way. She was doing her solat practical at school, and the ustaz told her to focus, to be khusyuk, and ignore everything else. So when she was doing it (performing the solat and prayers), she really put her heart into it. That's when the tsunami wave hit and washed away the village and she was very khusyuk she didn't realize what was going on around her. And that's how the movie got its title.

Following the tragedy, her leg had to be amputated. Her disability, her innocence, her patience, somehow got into me. She's so young, how is she going to face the world?

That is when I ponder, how do I wish to end up if a tragedy like that strikes. To survive, and continue living without my loved ones, I guess I'd rather be with the rest. But surviving means second chance. And who wouldn't want a second chance?

But do I really want to wait for the second chance while I still have my first try, my first chance not taken away? Kenapa nak tunggu terhantuk baru nak tengadah? Peribahasa pun boleeehh. Entahlah.

I couldn't help but shed buckets of tears while watching this movie. The message is so subtle. Reflecting my own self, the people I love most, the life I'm living, if someday something happens (Nauzubillah), will I be prepared for it?

Meanwhile..

credit HERE

Will you call me a hypocrite, call me a liar?

Why do you write? Why am I having this blog? Why, there are times when I suddenly feel the urge to write, regardless what the topic is about. It’s like, I HAVE TO WRITE SOMETHING.

And I notice I write better when I’m upset. Or angry. Or emotional. The flow seems to be perfect. Like everything comes out naturally.

Perhaps there are things that are better off in words, written, rather than uttered. True enough. Sometimes I write a long piece of essay, venting out, rambling on some emotional craps, then I stop, wondering if it’s appropriate for me to post it on my blog.

In the end, they all go to Izleen, my best friend. She never fails to be my faithful reader.

This blog used to be very personal, full of emotional stuff that I couldn’t bear keeping them to myself. The need to let them out drove me to post those things on my blog, with very minimal consideration if they were appropriate or not. Well, it’s my blog after all. Even if I get the facts wrong, who are you to argue? Go have your own blog then, no?

But part of it was also due to the underground-ness of this blog. I don’t really publish it anywhere. Like Facebook, I’m not one of those who posted new entry then pasted the link on their FB wall. Unless I want to inform a particular person on what’s going on, so there it goes. Other than that, no one cares. I am free to write anything I like. I used to say, no one reads it anyway, so why bother?

I guess it’s not the same today. Having eyes for details, I could track some silent readers who read my blog on regular basis. Well, thank you for that. But when you have frequent visitors, it’s like you’re having fans (lols). No, not that kind of fans who shout WE WANT MORE kind of thing. But you know people are reading. They might know you in person, they might not. Vice versa.

And that’s when you have to watch your words. Watch your say. Because it might hurt your readers. I avoid being too personal these days, simply because I feel too many people that I know in real life are watching. Not that I don’t like them, I do appreciate their care (curiosity, I would say) about my life.

It’s just that sometimes anonymous readers are much more preferred since they don’t know you in real life. They know you from your blog, and that’s it. They can judge you all they want, you couldn’t care less. They could love you without you knowing, and again, you couldn’t be bothered.

Now? Things are different. I am more careful in my writings, to take care of those precious hearts I know. And also, to avoid speculations and counters from unrelated people. I know I’m playing safe, no thrills and adventures, and some might even call me a fake. I wish I could be my true self in this dwelling place of mine. But no it’s not that easy. The real writings, the truest of me that you can get, well, they are all with Izleen.

One thing, if I get upset or extremely emotional over something, I’ll put them in words, and let Izleen read them. She’s the one to decide if they can be posted, though more often than not I decided not to post them up. Well at least someone reads my writing, that should be good enough.

Like what I just did few hours back. I posted some emotional junk before deciding to delete it. Izleen has read it, she thought it’s kinda cool, and SO me. But eventually, being me (again), I took it down because no, I’m not here in blogging to pick a fight or start gossips or what not. I don’t do cyberspace invasion, nor story-telling competition.

Because I know, sooner or later, those emotions or whatever crap there is inside me will eventually subside. But anything I have posted will not.

Or perhaps I'm just too coward to show the real side of me, after all.

 Will You Hate Me? by Dawud Wharnsby Ali

Smile in the two- way mirror of my eyes
I put on my faith like I wear a disguise
You can’t see my soul
See the life that I live
Show you the mask of the best I can give
I’ve hid here afraid like a child behind.
Truth of my thoughts that clutter my mind.
What if you knew about all that I do?
Things that I think,
The me that is true.

Would you call me a hypocrite?
Call me a liar?
Would you curse out my name?
Would you damn me to fire?
Would you know what to say?
Or would you just walk away?
Afraid the me I’ve tried to hide
Would too closely resemble the truth of you that lies inside?

I’ve been looking for answers since becoming an adult
Not looking for dogma to live like a cult
I’ve been looking to live,
I’ve been living to find
Freedom from cages that limit my mind.

Will I scare you, upset you, frustrate you, irate you?
Challenge a lifestyle or weaken your trust
Or will you see my efforts and my passionate sincerity
Would you see just a little of yourself in me
Will you take off your mask so we can both be free.

Review #5 Movie: Fireproof.

I'm running out of things to write, like seriously. Not that nothing has been going on in my life, it's just that I don't know how to put them in words. Well, I have my MARA agreement settled, my visa appointment done, so that's something, right? But I guess many have put them in blogs, the tips etc, and I'm not gonna bore you with the same thing like, BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL when filling your visa form, SIAPKAN CEPAT3 sebelum results A-level keluar, how to kill the setem for MARA agreement yadda yadda anymore. So instead, here goes..

A review.

Yes, another movie review. Nak baca, keep scrolling down. Kalau taknak, still, scroll down to the most bottom part and you'll find lists of blogs with more interesting updates (hopefully).

"Fireproof doesn't mean that a fire will never come, but that when it comes you'll be able to withstand it."

So this time the movie is titled Fireproof. Just in case you wonder if it has anything to do with fire, like literally fire, yes, the main character is a fireman. But in short, it's about protecting your marriage. Standing up for it.

"Never leave your partner behind."

The movie is about Caleb, a fireman who has been married to Catherine for seven years with no kids. As usual, time creates comfort, which can turn into distance, if it is not treasured. So this couple found themselves in lots of arguments and fights and anger, which in my honest opinion, are due to lack of understanding.

I love this one particular scene when the movie shows how Caleb and Catherine both see the situation so differently. The beauty of two different perspectives, and it's so true! Point is, communication is very very important. And if you don't communicate, it's very easy to see each other's faults and play the blame game.

While Catherine is busy looking for some fresh sparks in life by flirting with another guy, Caleb decides that he needs to save the marriage. With The Love Dare Book given by his father, he started to make changes in their relationship, beginning with his attitude. The challenge should last for 40 days, with a new positive change each day. While it's not easy to change himself, the fact that Catherine is too stubborn to accept things makes it worse.

But what happened after 40 days? You have to watch it to find out. For a person who loves to see things from different angles (and too often over-analyze them), this movie is definitely for me. Especially when it comes to Mars-Venus thingy. It's amazing how different can a man and woman be in term of viewing things, even after spending years together. Things such as The Love Dare Book might not exists these days, and a man as persistent as Caleb may not be easy to find, but in real life, it takes two to build a relationship, but to maintain it, well, that's a lot of effort.

Sometimes we get too comfortable with our partner, that we decide to seek some sparks in life. Little did we realize that the sparks aren't there magically, they need to be worked on. Precious things don't come cheap, no?

Highly recommended. Please please, do watch Fireproof. Even if you're not into relationship-marriage thingy, somehow it's a perfect example of how human behave in times of hardships. How poor communication can destroy what we've built for years in split seconds. Most importantly, how different can we, man and woman be.

And this particular scene says it all.

Review #4 Movie: Sekali Lagi. (Malay)

When you have nothing to write about, write reviews.

In other words, don't let the world know how boring your life is. Which is what I'm doing.

Following good reviews and pedophile-ish remarks on Mia Sara by my best friend, KN, I've decided to give Sekali Lagi a shot. Yes, a Malay movie, which in a way means putting my expectation at high stake. Exaggerate much, no? Well I always get skeptical when it comes to Malay movies. Take KL Gangster for example. It's good for those who enjoy the sound effects of physical fights, and those who are good at remembering lines as well, but for me who's always looking for the 'so?' part, well, I just don't get KL Gangster. At least not for me.

Sekali Lagi revolves around an autistic guy, Arman who were once normal. Married to Sheila at a very young age, he was diagnosed with tumor, which if removed, will cost him his normal life. He then decided to leave Sheila when he found this out, because he didn't want to burden her with his 'abnormalities'. What he didn't know was that she was pregnant when he divorced her, which explained where Amy came from.

Things get complicated when Arman met Sheila again, this time, with him being autistic and couldn't recognize her at all. This is when Sheila found out what exactly happened between them, especially those related to Amy. Should she tell Amy that Arman is actually her father when all this time Amy has always seen Arman as her friend? And can she take back all the pain Arman made her go through before that?

Typical situations, you hide things from people because you don't want them to be worried or suffer once they found out. Hello, what's wrong with communicating it out? I just don't get it. The same goes to Stanza Cinta,a Malay drama on TV3 which I just watched last night, and it happened to be the episode where Aaron Aziz  was keeping his sickness from his families so that they won't be worried.

I thought we are all living in a modern world where communication plays a huge part in our life, no? Imagine, what if someone dies all of a sudden, and the family only finds out after being told by the doctor, that the person has been sick all this while. Dramatic. Checked. Practicality? Hell no.

Okay back to Sekali Lagi, overall, Mia Sara plays a really important part in making sure the movie won't go flat or lifeless with her never-ending adorableness and charm. Shaheizy Sam, too. Him playing autistic? Too well. I think I'm falling for that. But Lisa Surihani? Not so much of her fan, and somehow there's always a part in me that thinks she's trying too hard for emotional scenes, which in the end, turned out a failure. Too superficial, I guess. Well she's pretty, yes. Very pretty indeed. But that's it.

Personally, if I don't over-analyze the situations, like how did Sheila manage to raise Amy after Arman left her, what happened to them etc, the movie should be fine. An out of ordinary for a Malay movie. I still enjoy it despite having doubts here and there.

No, ignore my words. Do watch Sekali Lagi. At least once, if not once again.

Review #3 Movie: A Moment to Remember. (Korean)

Lifetime companion.

Would you be my lifetime companion?
Well, I want to be more than that, your lifetime companion and in the afterlife, in Jannah, inshaAllah.

It’s easy to picture someone being our lifetime companion if we set aside unexpected very unlikely factors. You grow old together, awwhh, sweet much, no?

But what if one of you ages faster than the other? Are you still willing to stay with them and still be their lifetime companion?

A Moment to Remember, a tear-inducing Korean movie starred by Son Ye-jin and Jung Woo-sung (whoever on Earth they are) is a story of love and loss. A slow and painful loss.

The woman, Su Jin first met Chul Soo by chance over a misunderstanding of a Cola drink. Later, they found themselves in love, but kept it secret due to the differences of their social status.

Few times did Su Jin ask Chul Soo to marry her (yes, it’s the girl asking for the boy) but Chul Soo said no, mostly because he wasn’t sure if he could treat her well, and they wouldn't be happy as she was born rich while he’s just a mere carpenter. But after an incident, they both settled for a marriage.

Honestly I would say they picture a simple and beautiful married life. From a playful couple, Su Jin turned into a very good wife, determined to cater to her husband with all her heart. Same goes to the husband. Everything was picture-perfect, indeed. 

Until one day Su Jin was diagnosed with Alzheimer disease and started to show the symptoms. She started to forget things, incidents started to happen. And while her forgetfulness became more and more obvious, there was one time when she called Chul Soo by the name of her ex-lover, which later caused her an overwhelming pang of guilt til she decided to leave her husband, because she couldn’t bear the idea of hurting him.

The direct translation of the movie title from Korean to English is "Eraser in My Head", which explains everything.

Now what would you do if you were the husband? Watching your partner leave would be painful, but staying with her would come with a very high price to pay. Apart from taking care of her medical needs, you would also have to bear the heartbreak if one day she simply asks who you are, and demands on having her ex-lover back, there and then.

And what would you do if you were the wife? You know your husband still has a long way to go, are you going to let yourself drag him down, be the constraint you never wish you’d be? Is your love strong enough to set him free and not burden him? Well, when you love someone, you wouldn’t want them to be hurt, no?

Watching is easy, imagining it as well. But I feel that this movie triggers me to think of some possibilities that might happen beyond our control. Working a relationship is a choice, but this is definitely not within our power. You picture forever with your partner. With an Alzheimer, forever isn’t the most beautiful thing in a relationship.

Would you still be their lifetime companion? Would you still keep the vows you made when you decided to get married? What if you are someone young with full of ambitions and dreams, would you sacrifice all that for the sake of love?

Despite the so-so ending, I would say this movie is a must-watch for those considering a serious relationship with their current partner, especially for doctors. (since it’s Alzheimer-medical-related)

Ouch.

Review #2 Movie: Hanna.

So I've watched Hanna with Ara after a series of movie dates cancellation with Adam. (yes, they're all my bad, I was the one who couldn't keep my words). But hey, I was super glad that I didn't watch it with him, since that kind of movie is so not his cup of tea. Me? Well, not much, but I quite like the soundtracks, so that kinda make up to the flat story line.

Oops. Did I just mentioned a flat story line? Well I did, because it is. There's not much of a climax in this movie, but I think it is still enjoyable. If you find Salt (Angelina Jolie) watchable, then you might find Hanna worthwhile too. But this doesn't apply to my brother who thinks Salt was awesome because there's Jolie in it, but the story line sucks real bad. I guess because Salt doesn't really have a clear plot on the climax. All Jolie does in the movie is changing identity.

And the same goes to Hanna.

All she does is running. Yes, literally running. The movie is about Hanna, a girl who was genetically modified since she was still a bunch of cells. She was built to be strong and tough, have less mercy, feel no pain, intensified senses and every good quality there could be in a soldier. Which well, she is. All those while she was raised in an isolated snowy part of Germany, until one day she decided to reveal herself. Being highly sought after due to her 'abnormalities', she has to keep on running to escape from those who want to capture her. So basically, yes, this movie is about a girl escaping some bad guys and killing everyone who gets in her way.

But there are still some witty parts especially between Hanna and her newly-found British friend, Sophie (she's a bimbo). Sophie carries an image of a typical blonde with heavy British accent (imagine Cordelia, played by Selena Gomez in Monte Carlo but a bit more lovable than that). Try to put a small little fighter next to a bimbo, well, that's not too hard to imagine, isn't it?

Overall, though I found myself pretty enjoying the movie, I must say that the movie is not for everyone. If you can't handle murders and assassins and guns and fights and of course, massive pool of blood, then don't. One thing for sure, the suspense and thrills in this movie are well intensified by the soundtracks. Perhaps I enjoyed the music more than the movie. But this movie really gave me almost 2 hours of nervousness and chills, apart from the awesome music.

Review #1 Contact Lens for Astigmatism.

It was a mutual love. And it was so deep that our relationship lasted for more than two years. Funny when it all started when I unintentionally ditched G, you were there all along without me knowing, and thank God, I found you. Since then, I never looked back.

I might be young, but I know it was love. You were not so young, after all, but still, you gave it all to be with me. You guided my path when I couldn't find the way. You showed me the direction when I was lost. You were all that I needed. And we were inseparable.

My friends kept saying on how good we looked together. We were the perfect two. Yes, there were scandals and rumors and other parties trying to get into our way. But we remained strong. The bond we had between each other were just, amazing.

Nobody's perfect, and so were you. You hurt me. You made me cry. One minute you were the light to my world, next minute, you turned my world into total darkness. But there wasn't a second I wished you were gone, for I knew you're the best I never had. I was so glad I found you. We spent most of the hours in a day. You were the first thing I saw in the morning, and the last thing on my mind before I went to bed. Ah, good times.

But nothing last forever. I got tired of you. You and your selfishness. You made me cry more than you made me smile. No more bright face when I saw you, just tears streaming down the face. It was devastating for me to let you go. But someone had to do it, even half-heartedly. And that person was me.

I admit, all those times I thought you were irreplaceable. Damn, I was all wrong. I know my current relationship is still new, not even a month, but so far I've been surviving well without you.

I hope you're doing fine too.

You.

Guess you're not so irreplaceable after all.

And he has the same qualities as you did. Sad much, no?

You might be born in Ireland, and though he's from Indonesia, that doesn't make you any better than him. Plus I hate distance, remember?

And he's smaller than you are. Smaller = cuter.

On a more serious note, here goes.

Recently I changed my contact lens from Bausch & Lomb SofLens Toric (alphafilcon A) to Ciba Vision Air Optix for Astigmatism. Yes, both are meant for those with abnormally high astigmatism. Mine is -2.25 for right eye and -1.75 for the left eye. And astigmatism means that all my lens have to be pre-order/custom made.

The main reason why I changed my lens was that I wear lens for long hours, and I think B&L couldn't handle that. At the end of the day, my eyes become so weary and itchy, and switching to glasses after removing them at night makes my vision like pening3.

After some research on the Internet, I found Air Optix, and I fell for the reviews (fake or not, who cares)

Cost-wise, 

B&L SofLens Toric is waaaayyyy cheaper than Air Optix. I can get 7 pairs of B&L for RM190. But for this Air Optix, I have to fork out RM 180 for 4 pairs. And that's a lot of difference, huh?

Texture-wise,

Air Optix is significantly thinner than B&L. Beginners may find Air Optix quite hard to handle as it's very thin and often slips while handling. And removing the lens might be a bit tedious if they're not used to it. When your fingers are in contact with contact lens solution, removing the lens from your eyes might be a bit tricky since it's very slippery and you couldn't get the grasp of the lens easily. This happened few times to me, but after a bit of practice, you should be okay.

Colour-wise,

Not sure if it matters, but Air Optix is slightly a bit tinted than B&L. So it's quite obvious when you're wearing them since there's a hue of blue circle around your pupil.

Overall,

Referring to the name itself, Air Optix claims to offer better long-hour wear, as well as more oxygen permeable. So it's 'highly breathable' and more comfortable. But honestly to me, I found them very comfortable only in the first few days. Could be to psychological effect, all contact lens wearers know that switching to a brand new pair of monthly contact lens is one of the best feelings in the world. Your eyes feel 'refreshed', or so they say. After that, Air Optix feels pretty much like B&L. Worst, lately the lens often slips off the pupil alignment in my right eye (what a weird way to explain it). So my right eye often becomes blurry. Perhaps it's because of the thinness, not so sure about that. Also, I'm using Renew Fresh lens solution, which obviously comes from Bausch & Lomb, the same manufacturer of the B&L SofLens. Perhaps it's not as compatible with Ciba Vision lens, but all this while I keep switching lens solutions brands they all work well for my B&L SofLens.

Renew Fresh lens solution by Bausch & Lomb

In short, so far I think Air Optix and B&L are more or less the same, if not, Air Optix wins with an extra 0.5 point for the 'breathable' part. Maybe due to my eyes, maybe I'm not sensitive enough to sense the 'breath' of the lens, but my vision still become blurry sometimes. And my eyes are still tired at the end of the day. Guess I should give my eyes more time to adapt and sense the permeability of Air Optix.

Semangat gila buat macam paid review segala bagai pfft.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if they truly care; or they are just being curious.

There are only two possibilities – either they never learn, or they simply have a huge tremendous enormous gigantic spirit of NEVER GIVE UP. How I wish I could believe it’s the latter, but I just can’t.

Their determination annoys me. I’m not trying to be a snob here, but I really don’t need some random people adding me on social networking sites for whatever reasons. When I still had my FB, I didn’t add people much; I removed them, A LOT. Shouldn’t that mean something already? There must be reasons why I am (almost forever) invisible on Skype, why I haven’t reactivated my FB, why I don’t appear on YM. And to those who know me personally in real life, I’m sorry that I don’t return calls, I don’t reply text messages, (or if I reply hours/days later). It’s not my obligation to justify, so I won’t.

So please, if you happen to be one of them and you are reading this, please. I’m not so much of a social person (though I think I was hell of one), if you have nothing much to say, which I know you don’t, just leave me alone. 


Does not knowing hurt so much?

Because honestly, I'm so used to the silent treatment it doesn't work on me anymore.