Sunday, April 29, 2012

I was so stressed out that I made another rainbow cake.

Yes, that rainbowculously leceh rainbow cake. Again.

Adam, you're so gonna burp rainbow one day. And puke. And fart. And poop rainbow too. Or perhaps you'll sneeze rainbow who knows.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Doakan. (II)

I sure love writing, don't I?

Just when I am about to face the real book aka studying, my mind goes wandering around. Everything becomes so interesting. I immediately feel like a genius, with this and that idea in mind. Can't focus at all! Sigh.

Recently (it's always like that, very recent one, duhh) I've been thinking about the word "pray/doa/wish/hope" dan yang sewaktu dengannya. Especially DOA. The most powerful weapon yet, for us, Muslims.

"Aku doakan kau lepas exam."

"Kita doakan mak awak cepat sembuh."


But to what extent we really make du'a for them? Honestly if you ask me, before that I used to say such phrases, kita doakan itu ini, lets pray that bla bla and such. Tapi sekadar di mulut/twitter/komen Facebook.

Did I really mention their names in my prayers? No.

Baru-baru ni tergerak hati untuk duduk lama sikit atas sejadah lepas solat, pondering life and all the living things. Ambil masa untuk sebut nama kawan-kawan sorang sorang, doakan yang terbaik untuk dorang. Doakan secara general jugak, supaya semua keluarga/kawan-kawan dilindungi Allah. Tapi rasanya lagi puas bila mention nama sorang sorang. Alhamdulillah. Cakap kawan baik, sayangkan dorang, apa salahnya sebut nama dorang dalam doa? Tak sampai seminit.

Yes, making du'a is not necessarily after prayers. Cop prayers tu doa ke solat? Haish. Faham sendirilah kan. Kadang-kadang bila teringat secara random tentang manusia ini manusia itu yang struggle dengan mak sakit, yang struggle financially, terdetik jugak, Ya Allah, permudahkanlah jalan dorang. Sembuhkanlah mak orang ni orang tu Ya Allah. Bagi orang tu orang ni dapat internship kat company yang dia nak. Itupun dikira doa, kot?

Kalau itu je yang mampu kita buat, itulah yang kita patut buat.

Lagi satu, kadang-kadang terasa macam dah lama tak betul-betul mengadap Ilahi. Bukan mati ye adik-adik, tapi betul-betul rasa macam mengadap Tuhan. Susah betul nak menangis dalam solat, dalam doa. Tak rasa langsung. Nak nak lepas balik cuti Easter yang panjang gila asyik on the go boleh solat jamak, maka doa pun jamak lah. Ribut kelam kabut doa laju laju Ameen terus lipat sejadah. Sebelum Easter pulak tak boleh solat, so nak sync balik solat dan doa tu MashaAllah sikit punya susah. Subuh jangan cakap, kejut pun tak bangun T_T

So cakap kat diri sendiri I have to get back on track. Bangun malam, qiam, Subuh in time, Al-Quran bukak balik, sunat dhuha, Mathurat jangan tinggal. Kena jugak cuba walaupun susah.

Bila dah start sikit sikit, baru terasa macam normal, rasa cukup. Dan sekarang cuba nak improve timing untuk doa. Biar lama sikit atas sejadah tu. Masa solat bila start merewang je otak ni, terus ingatkan diri, kalaulah ini solat yang terakhir, macam mana? Ya Allah, I present you my last solat, in the best way I could do it.

Dan doalah sepenuh hati. Mintak betul-betul dengan Allah. Yakin. Macam mana kita nak mintak tukar course dengan MARA, dengan Allah kena lebih lagi. MARA bagi scholarship je, duit, Allah bagi semua. Sebut apa yang kita nak. Cakap dengan Allah. Monolog. Allah dengar jangan risau. So I tried "talking" to him. Literally talking to him. Mengadu. Kalau sebelum ni doa macam skrip drama dalam hati, sekarang cuba untuk bercakap sampai keluar suara. Dengan yakin. Alhamdulillah it works for me. Bila cakap betul betul sampai keluar suara, mintak betul betul, keyakinan tu lagi bertambah. I know He's listening. And I feel enlightened. Kadang kadang sampai menangis sebab overwhelmed dengan emosi, especially bila fikir diri sendiri yang banyak sangat nak mintak itu ini, tapi dosa MashaAllah melangit tinggi.

Try. Speak to Him. Voice it out. May you feel it. The feeling that He is so near. He is, indeed.

We created man, We know the prompting of his soul, and We are closer to him than his jugular vein.
Surah Qaf: 16

Friday, April 27, 2012


A lot of things have been going on recently. Back in Leicester. Restless. Left for London. Just came back. And a cold war with Adam (as usual).

He forgot the big day (supposedly on Thursday 26 April, but postponed to today, Friday 27 April), and then asked if I'm upset about it.

Duuudeeee, seriouslyyy?

But it's alright since he called when I was in London yesterday, asking if he did any wrong, simply because he could sense it. Well, I didn't wake him up for class, that for one thing (when I actually got too caught up with the coach and London tubes and everything, no hard feeling).

Now that I'm back in Leicester, we could finally really talk. Man how I miss talking to him like nobody's business. Sigh.

Thing about him is, he always feels that I always do cute stuff. Like everything I say, he'll respond by saying "Awak ni comel lah." When asked what the comel-ness is about, he can't explain it. Gahh. So much for being cute. For example, when I said I am left broke again after the London trip and can't afford to pay full May rent, I read this FB message to him on the phone.

And he went on with the comel thing again. Like seriouslyy??? I'm broke and you think I'm cuteee? But when asked if he could lend me some money he quickly changed the topic. Huh. Again. So much for the comelness huh?

We were on the phone not exactly knowing what we were talking about. He was cooking and I was too busy rummaging my Mac for emails and stuff.

He kept ooooh-haaa-ingg, while insisting that he could multi-task, cooking and being on the phone. And made weird sounds like, PLOOP! when he dropped tomatoes into his curry. Funny guy.

Bella: What are you cooking?
Adam: Same old boring thing. Curry. (his favourite lauk malas has always been curry)
Bella: Asyik kari je. Nanti housemates awak muntah kari.
Adam: Mana ada. Dorang kentut kari lah.
Bella: Ha, the other day I was thinking of commenting nak suap awak rainbow cake hari hari sampai kentut pun keluar rainbow, but it would be too tak senonoh I changed it to burp keluar rainbow.
Adam: Hish mana boleh cakap kat public. Adam ni kalau orang tengok muka tak kentut tau. Jatuh la standard.
Bella: Yea right, muka yang kalau kentut pun mesti bau wangi kan?

We then laughed.

Which I'm not pretty sure he will still say that I'm comel after reading this.

Adam, I miss you. Call me once you're back from movie (or if you want me to remove this post). 

Thursday, April 26, 2012


Esok hari besar (lagi). Semoga dipermudahkan inshaAllah.

Ps. Thank you for the wish you. Nanti I bagi you rainbow cake sepam. Makan sambil dengar lagu Bieber.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Rainy rainbow.

I don't know which one is cuter, to puke rainbow or to burp rainbow.

Monday, April 23, 2012

A Gift of Love.

I can never forget the night when he went outside at a gas station to check if the other friend was filling in the air into the tyres correctly.

It struck me, how completely capable he is. He drove the turns and bends while everyone was asleep without much questions. He took charge of the directions when GPS seemed of no help. He could find the tiniest space to park the car and parked it almost flawlessly.

I want to be responsible for you.

A part of me was blooming with hope and bliss, while another small part was raging with pride, you don’t think I can’t take care of myself, do you?

Often I ponder to myself, what is it about him that makes me go through all odds not to walk away despite the differences we have. He could be overprotective and possessive, and that drives me crazy more than anything else.

But he takes care of me like no one ever does.

Little did I realise that it was the responsibility that he’s been talking about.

I left for England last year in September. When I first got here, he was already the president of Malaysian Students Society of Northern Ireland (MSSNI). Then I realised that I never really had the chance to have him as a normal.

Back in Kolej MARA Banting, he was the Academic Bureau of Students Council. And the CEO of GEM. And some other stuff. After IB when we visited the college occasionally, he was still regarded as someone by the teachers.

Me, on the other hand, was much on the couldn’t-be-bothered side. I’d prefer to remain unknown.

There was one time when I even asked him if he could be normal.

It just didn’t work. Recently he was elected as the President again, this time for Queen’s Malay Club (QMC).

Deep down, I was not quite sure if that was what I really wanted from him. Having such a huge responsibility as a President means that his society is in the priority list. I’ve been through it once, while he was the President of MSSNI. Not funny.

Then I remember when he asked me if he should run for QMC. My answer was simple, if it makes you happy.

It does. So there he is, as the new President of QMC for the next academic year, standing (literally) tall and proud of his newly acquired responsibility.

And here I am, in my own room, sitting to myself, smiling silently as I think of how blessed I am, to have such a man with such a great capability in being responsible. And for having someone who’s willing to take the greatest responsibility of having a woman in his life. Me.

Congratulations on your newly finished essays done in one day before deadline, when you were given weeks to do it. You shall now start focusing on your studies before another responsibility kicks in. 
And oh, please dont be normal. We never really are, anyway.

Ps. I am really proud of you.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Eire Road Trip: Double shots of Belfast

Day 4: Belfast - Giant's Causeway

Finally in Belfast (again)! Dah masuk Belfast yang excited nak cerita nih. Adam and Lynn are both studying in Belfast, so it’s home for them. And you know what happened when half of the group was home. You got lazy, obviously. Despite having two very expert tourist guides in the house, Belfast was yet the most unproductive destination. BLEGH.

Woke up at 10am-ish to find Lynn cooking spaghetti for breakfast, then the boys came over. Idle chats and the amazing breakfast she prepared dragged us to almost 2pm. And that’s when the drama swasta began.

The plan was to go to Giant’s Causeway, but Adam had to pick up his passport at some office closing early, so he got panicked and annoying. And Bella being Bella, lagi nak sama annoying, and in the end we had a cold war merajuk tak tentu hala dalam kereta. In front of Farzan and Lynn. Gosh I would feel so bad if they become serik to travel with us again. Haish.

Thank goodness it didn’t last long. Giant’s Causeway was such a beautiful place, and Adam was being sweet (GAAAHHH) enough to pujuk balik and stuff. And later after climbing the never ending rocks, we went home to get some food (again). Yes, typical us. We come, we conquer, we capture, we go home find food.

Giant's Causeway, Belfast

The octagon-shaped rocks

Merajuk la konononononn

Farzan was so sad that his shoes weren't giant enough to beat the Giant's Shoe

The Organ. Maafkan muka tak senonoh yang duduk mencangkung itu.

Silhouette, photo credit to Farzan

The initial plan was to go to Carrick-a-Rede but we got there 5 minutes late, it was already closed. So apa lagi, Tesco shopping time! Adam was the masterchef that night, with Nasi Biryani and Ayam Masak Merah as the main menu, while Lynn baked us chocolate cake yang sangat sedaaappp!

Nasi biryani and ayam masak merah by Adam, salad by Farzan

Bella muka excited dapat makan, again, ketidak-senonohan berlaku

Endorsement letak sebijik kat plastik serbuk cili Baba's - PASSED

Lynn's moist chocolate cake - before

Now become lava cake - after

Day 5: Belfast to Dublin

Last day of the trip. We ought to return the car at 3pm in Dublin, so we made our way at about 11am-ish. Lynn stayed back in Belfast (of course, it her home) while the boys and I made our way to Dublin. We tried to lure Farzan into getting off the car right in front of Queen's University of Belfast, but he just wouldn't do it. To some extent I felt bad for Farzan, since it's his first time in Belfast, and the three of us were so chillax lepak la cakap kampung halaman kann. Yes even I was so tak heran, bajet balik Belfast macam balik kampung sendiri. But since Farzan seemed okay about it, so chillax gak ah.

Last gift from them, a camwhore gay-like picture

On the left is my iPod, while the right one is Farzan's. Sungguh takboleh blah.

Depan rumah Lynn. Bidding goodbye to her. Sedih kot. Honeymoon's over!

It was indeed a wonderful experience with this people. My very first road trip, and needless to mention, my very first time travelling with Farzan and Lynn, yet everything was picture perfect! Thank you peeps. Hopefully you guys can still bear with us next time! (if there's even next time huu)

Friday, April 20, 2012

Eire Road Trip: Wind of Galway

Day 3: Galway - Kylemore Abbey, Cliff of Moher

Later on the second night of the trip, we left for Galway. Thank goodness it was a straight highway so Farzan did the driving while Adam tido dengan bahagianya at the backseat. Well actually Farzan did half of the driving to Cork as well. Haruslah mention nanti co-pilot merajuk ye dak? Reached Galway at about 1am, greeted by DJ with her wide smile and sleepy eyes (really?) Haha the boys headed over to Zubair’s while we slept like logs and woke up the next day at 10am-ish, when the boys already made their ways to DJ’s. Oh did I mention DJ had to leave for Dublin Airport on the next morning at 5am? No pictures so saddd. I thought we were crashing at inappropriate time. Uh-uh, sorry DJ. But it was soooo goooood to see her again after almost 2 years, the last time I saw her was during IB graduation! *hugs*

So that day we tried to find University of Galway landmark, which turned out to be unsuccessful. Nampak uni tepi jalan je sobs. Then we made our way to Kylemore Abbey, a castle by the lake. Yes, lake again. Or seas? Entah. I lost count. But along the way we stopped by a beach. The weather was so sunny and seemed perfect for subathing, but man, we were deceived. It was so cold! Regardless, the view was worth it. And me, being a huge fan of beaches, walaoweh. NANGES.

Duduk belakang tido, duduk depan makan. You pick.

Haruslah ada pose Korea, kan Adam?

Credit to Farzan

Then we made our way to Kylemore Abbey. Zay reminded us (or Farzan, I think?) to study the history of Kylemore Abbey first. It has something to do with lovers romantic love stories bla bla. But us being us, what we did was identified the name of the place, put it into GPS, went there, took pictures, and if the weather was good, lompat lompat sikit, and balik. Histories are like, soo yesterdaaay? HAHA!

Farzan: Zay cakap kena tau history Kylemore Abbey.
Bella: Oh yeke. Pasal apa?
Farzan: Some romantic love story camtu ar.
Bella: Okayy. So kalau kita tau history dia, lepas tu?
Farzan: Boleh korang bercinta romantic sikit kat sini.
Bella: We don't need some secluded castle by the lake to be in love, really.

Adoyai. Farzan Farzan.

Nak sangat bercinta tepi tasik kann

Adam insisted to be the flower boy as background

 Close up pictures always credit to Farzan

I decided that I’ve had too much of sightseeing with not enough food, so I became all cranky and annoying. Adam was smart enough not to argue back and drove to find some place to eat. So finally we had our fish and chip at some fast food restaurant with some free Wifi so everyone was happy again weee! Mind you, it was me and Lynn's first meal of the day, at 4pm-ish. So lapar meehhh.

No pictures of me being cranky, but this is too cute not to be posted

Fish and chip all the way!

Happy tummies, checked. So we headed to Cliff of Moher. It was so cold like gila nak mati and the sun was blocked by the clouds, hence no sunset for that day. SAD. But still, we managed for some pictures despite the frostbites (over kau nyaahhh) and numbness. Siap sempat solat jamak Zuhur-Asar and Maghrib-Isyak kat situ lagi walaowehh. Okay kantoi Asar lambat.

The hiding sun

I honestly don't know what Adam is trying to prove by sitting like that. Nak kawen ka?

After that, off to Belfast. Balik kampung yay!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Eire Road Trip: A quarter of Dublin and full dose of Cork

Day 1: Dublin to Cork - Wicklow, Glendalough

We left Dublin at about 3pm, with Adam and Farzan coming to pick me up at Nabilah’s, also Lynn at her friend’s place. Adam was the official pilot during the trip, with Farzan being the co-pilot. Me and Lynn? Duduk belakang tahan pening diam diam sudah.

First stop was Tesco, since the boys haven’t had any anything to eat since morning. And yes, we were four happy tummies with food in hands since in Ireland you have to buy plastic bags for 30cent each. When you can get it free in UK. NOT GOOD.

Need to pay for plastic bags at shops: UK-1, Ireland-0

Note manusia paling gembira di tengah tengah

Then we headed to Glendalough, or Wicklow, or Wicklow, Glendalough, or whichever works for you. It was one hell of a ride, but the view was terrific! The first time we saw hills and mountains we were so excited that we stopped randomly just to take pictures.

Dublin to Wicklow: The very first stop


Sadly the weather was being mean to us. It was raining like mad and we were all soaked wet but still insisted on a group photo despite the heavy rain and wind. Gigih.

Polkadots and raindrops

Wicklow: Literally mandi hujan

It is said that Wicklow was used as one of the settings for Ps. I Love You movie, but heck, I haven’t even watched it. Just read halfway of the book by Cecelia Ahern and fell asleep lol. But really, the lake view was breathtaking. Imagine a lake in the middle of hills and mountains with a waterfall as the backdrop. Just one thing, it’s worth to check the weather before going, else you’d end up like us, nak jugak pergi amek gambar tengah tengah hujan sobs.

Wicklow, Glendalough

Then we headed straight to Cork, at Zayana’s place. Reached there about 12am, so Adam and Farzan had to say goodbye to her ayam paprik yang sedap gila macam nak nanges tu. Hewhew. They headed to the boys house while me and Lynn stayed at Zay’s. Bye korang.

Day 2: Cork - Kinsale and Ring of Kerry

The next morning we woke up to the smell of nasik lemak cooked by Zay. When asked what time did she start bertukang, she said at 6am, when me and Lynn was still fast asleep! The boys later came over to her place to have breakfast. And the boys being boys, Adam kept on mengada ngada nak itu ini while Farzan tambah nasik entah berapa kali. But it was all worth it. Sedaaaaappp!

Zayana's place: Nasik lemak with sponge fruit flan/cake/whatever - all home made!

Happy faces for breakfast

Tukang basuh pinggan. Actually Adam did the washing, I was just mengada menyibuk. Sorry mop.

Farzan with his entah-berapa-round tambah

I was amazed by the house system. Really.

They even have their stock inventory! NANGES.

Family photo. They said Zay jadi nenek duduk kat sofa besar. Jahat.

The heavy lively breakfast was just too good to be true. It felt like you're in kampung again. Oh did I mention how their house is so big and so proper like a real home? With a backyard some more. Heaven dowh duduk Cork. So juniors mungkin boleh apply IUMC hoping dapat Cork nanti. Ecece.

Later nearing afternoon we left to Kinsale and Ring of Kerry. But first, here’s University of Cork.

Envy her slim figure. Next time I swear I won't take pictures sebelah Lynn lagi. SOBS.

The myth is that if you stand in the middle of the quadrangle you won't graduate.
But we're UK people, no need to graduate from UCC. Heh.

Adam playing ting ting. He found the pebbles amusing for some reasons. Strange man.

Kinsale was fine. It was a lot like Langkawi to some point, with a harbor and ships and yachts and stuff. And there was Fort Charles, which was located on top of the hill. Again, views. Excited!


Fort Charles

View from top of the hill

Then here comes the really adventurous part – Ring of Kerry. To be honest we had no idea what we were looking for, a ring? A well? A field? We kept on driving (well it’s Adam, really) and at some point got really demotivated by the crazy turns and bends on the road. Of course, the view along the way was fantastic, but we had no idea where we were heading to and driving blindly on a crazy road in an insane weather didn’t feel right. So we asked this one guy travelling with his wife on the directions. Turned out to be that Ring of Kerry is a whole course of road that could only be finished in at least one whole day! And there were no exits along the way. Either you finish the whole course or you turn back. We were only one fifth of the course, continuing the journey wasn’t an option. 

Everyone was like, where the hell are we?

Lynn seemed fine (she always is), while Adam having after-effect of driving aimlessly

Ring of Kerry, on of the epic views

So we turned back and Adam was so grumpy so we thought it would be nice to go home get some food and warmth. Phew. Wisest decision ever made. Because we came back to Zay’s place to find the house full of people and food! There were chicken barbeques, pavlova, chocolate moist cake, fruit cocktails, steamboats, mihun soup and all sort of stuff.  Say hello to happy tummies again yay!

All the Cork people with their endless jokes and smiles. THANK YOU PEEPS.

So there goes, first and second day of our trip. Summing it so far in three words, they were all sceneries, food and people. LOVES!