Thursday, May 21, 2015


I'm back in the running field weehoo!

And no, I decided not to go to Norway. (so random what?)

Got a bigger mission to fulfill so yeah, Norway can wait. I am back on the run jyeah!

(did I just say it twice?)

Actually for months I've been making excuses for not running. Busy on outblock, gym fees too expensive, the weather being too cold, I'm not used to running outdoor.. Well, you name it. All the excuses in the world to justify why I haven't run for nearly 6 months. Half a year I tell you!! Oh the flabby legs and saggy bums..

So I took the plunge and bought myself a running jacket. Not cheap considering I've been trying to significantly reduce my expenses on clothes and the likes. And it doesn't help that all my running gears are from Nike (cause I'm anal like that), so the jacket has to be from Nike as well. But hey, this girl needs to run okay. Rawr.

My first run was pathetic though. It wasn't even 2km when I gave up and took a shorter way home, stopping by at Tesco to buy some chips and junks (the true purpose of the run in the first place) and spent the few days after with jelly legs.

The runs after were significantly better, much to my surprise. Managed to do over 5km without feeling like crap. Even better, I find myself faster on the road than on treadmill! Oh the 25 years of underestimating myself.. Sorry legs. (and bums and thighs, for that matter).

Speaking of runs, I was running at Abbey Park earlier today. It's quite a large park, I think you can cover nearly 3km going around the park alone. If you decide to take the smaller paths crossing the park every now and then, you can easily do 5km.

Thing is, from my house to the park alone is already more than 2km. So when I got there the intention was just to have a quick run around and head back home, which I can easily get 5km out of it. At least that was the plan.

Until I got lost in the park.

I couldn't find my way out to the exit (there are quite a few gates to enter the park) and I was running like a headless chicken, albeit slower. It took me a good 15mins running aimlessly hoping I find the gate where I came from until at one point I gave up. I nearly cried like a lost child in the middle of the park on a bright sunny day. This girl, I tell you, haih.. Hopeless. Finally I took out the good old GPS and found my way back. Hoi siapa je guna GPS nak cari exit park? Embarassing. And total distance covered was nearly 10km! I tell you what, my legs so don't deserve this. Huh. (tak puas hati on behalf of my legs).

I'm turning 25 this year (gosh so old!) and I remember telling myself in my early 20s, that I'll run my first marathon before I turn 25. It's probably too late now though, so I'm gonna make it a half marathon before the end of 2015 then. 6 months sounds not too bad.

Just that maybe for now I can focus on trying to run without getting lost.. In a park.. Full of people.. On a broad daylight..

Poor girl, she doesn't even know where she's going. (secretly judging self)

Thursday, May 14, 2015


Remember my solo-travel sifu, Afiqah?  Well she's now in Cuba. Alone. Winging it a-lone. Oh wow. I've been wanting to do it. Just that, of course, wanting and actually doing it are two very different things. So I thought, maybe, hm, this time, I'll just jump into it and see if it's for me. For all I know, I might like the idea of it, rather than the actual thing.

There's a long weekend before I start a new rotation in 3 weeks' time, sounds like a perfect time.

Randomly checking flight tickets, found a reasonable one with good timing. Hm, looks like luck is on my side so far. Until...

Of course, the two As.

Adam & Ayah.

Oh btw did I say where I was planning to go to? It's Macedonia. Sounds adventurous enough, heh? (smug face)

Right, back to the two As.

Adam was looking at me (on Facetime of course) like I was nuts. Where the heck is Macedonia anyway? He did some googling and found some random picture of naked guys on the beach. And there's not even a beach in Macedonia! Oh why why I'm not surprised..


"Why you go see naked people?"
"You see, I would let you.. But then it's 3 hours away, it's really far.."
"I'll be busy around that time, what if something happens, then I cannot come and rescue you."
"I think you'll be okay alone.. Then I think again, WHAT THE HECK are you doing on your own?"
"I think sticking to UK is probably a better idea."

And the best one,

"Why don't you wait for me then we go together? I want to go to Macedonia too."

1. He has never heard of Macedonia before.
2. The last time we went travelling together in Europe was in 2012. It's really hard to get things properly done when we see each other. We're just too cuddly like that.

Okay.. So that's Adam. It sounds like a no. Although I do appreciate his effort in trying not to sound too obvious.. That he's not really sure if I can do this solo travelling thing.

Fine. I called Ayah the next day. Told him the whole story.

"Do you know that Macedonia is having some conflict now? So yes, I agree with Adam, at least bring a friend with you."

I thought he was joking! Honestly for all I know he has never heard of the country then suddenly just throw the conflict in to scare me off.

"Trust me, I know where the country is. It's near Albania, and (insert some other countries here).. Google it. There's a political tension going on."

Aaaaaaand damn he's right. There is actually something going on. But but butttt, how on Earth does he know that???!!?? It's half way across the world from Malaysia, and who reads Macedonian news??!??

So here I am, contemplating if it's even worth asking if they will let me go to Norway instead..

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

The stars lean down to kiss you, and I lie awake and miss you.

Was randomly hopping music videos on youtube, when this played.

Vanilla Twilight - Owl City

I realised the song was released sometime in 2009. Since then it has been on my phone as Adam's ringtone. Since the stone age of my pink Samsung til my current iPhone. Since we first got together. Since then. Til now.

And that's more than 5 years of listening to the same old song whenever he calls. 5 years, that's a heck of a long time to have the same song on your phone. Lol.

The lyric's pretty much about a person missing the other half, although I'm not too sure if it's a separation by death or by distance. 

"I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because
When I think of you
I don't feel so alone."

This song kinda makes me sad, though. It's like a reminder that this distance isn't going anywhere, that I'll still be listening to it fairly often. The words cut deep.

A little trivia - Owl City's lead singer is Adam Young.

"Oh darling I wish you were here."

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Vaginas, vaginas everywhere.

Someone commented that I rarely talk about school/medicine on my blog, so here goes.

Look at all the motivation I have.


This O&G block is starting rather slowly. Not complaining - in fact, thank you med school! Truth is since last week, I've only been to the ward once, a post-menopausal bleed (PMB) clinic, and a tutorial. Which btw, I don't wish to attend the PMB clinic again (which I will have to because it's on my timetable, sigh). 

Last time before we ended our geriatrics (equivalent to elderly care), our consultant wished us luck with the babies. I was so tempted to correct him by saying, it's actually vaginas. Vaginas, vaginas everywhere. Suffice to say I did not. Geriatricians can be very serious and lack of humour (in a kind way), I didn't think he'd appreciate me saying it.

So now yeah, vaginas, vaginas everywhere. Which doesn't help because I'm pretty disturbed by the sight of em thingies, male and female alike, since the theory years of med school. Even the sight of pelvic floor muscles in the anatomy textbook makes me cringe. Now.. We have the real stuff. Poking through the vagina, up through the cervix, into the womb.. Hysteroscopy, that is. Nevermind the pain. Doctor said it's like period pain, patient said bloody hell it was nothing like period pain! (Doctor was a male, btw). You know, male, period pain, um, what do they know? One after another. Cringe. Again. One after another. Cringe.

And I haven't actually seen/deliver a baby yet. Well, I've seen a caesarean before, not vaginal delivery though. Oh just the thought of it.. Cringe some more.

And poking through a pregnant lady's tummy to 'guess' the baby's position, poor mommy. I'll go for ultrasound instead, thank you very much. Which of course is not always the case since you can't get ultrasound in the community. Oh, poor mommys. This medical student has no idea what she's doing, we're so sorry.

It will get better as the block progresses, I believe. It definitely will. Meanwhile I'm off to poke some pregnant tummys in the antenatal clinic this afternoon.

(Going to thank my mom, again.)

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Oh and gee.

Sebenarnya, bosan gila weh buat workbook. And sebenarnya baru perasan things related to O&G (that's obstetrics and gynaecology not oil and gas you engineer people) mostly warna pink. Like purplish pink, keperempuanan gitu.

How stereotype.

And sebenarnya semalam tak pegi sekolah sebab tak ready nak jumpa perempuan mengandung, nak beranak, keguguran, dan yang sewaktu dengannya lepas trauma tengok darah PV (per vagina) sorang pesakit hari Khamis lepas. Dia miscarry at 12 weeks, pada hari yang sama dia sepatutnya datang untuk dating scan.

Tengah bersiap nak pergi hospital untuk scan, tiba tiba sakit perut and keluar darah banyak.

Instead of pergi hospital nak tengok baby, pergi hospital untuk keluarkan miscarried baby dalam perut. Sedih.

Lagi sedih bila product of conception (in a very crude lay term, the miscarried 'baby') was a result of molar pregnancy. In another very crude lay term, boleh jadi cancer. Boleh jadi. Orang kita ni kadang kadang semua nak kanser je. So boleh jadi, ada possibility. Belum tentu lagi. Nurse cakap patient tak boleh get pregnant for another 6 months.

Sedih lagi bila husband patient tu is acually a paediatric cardiologist. At the same hospital. So patient tau/faham dengan apa yang berlaku, sefaham fahamnya.

Baru sehari pergi ward, sedih.

Then semalam satu hari berkurung kat rumah buat workbook pasal pregnancy and delivery. They put it as if pregnancy is a disease. Pregnancy is hard work. Babies are hard work. Mad respect untuk perempuan mak mak di luar sana. 

Atau mungkin dah banyak sangat bergelumang dengan cold hard facts kot. Perasaan mak sayang anak tu, Allah je tau.

Go thank your mom. Now.

Thursday, April 16, 2015


My current life in a single picture.

Of all the chores, laundry is the one that gets me most. I can dread doing the laundry so much that I cry while doing it. Gaya Cinderella kena paksa buat laundry by mak tiri.

Also, anything to do with packing. Hence the suitcase and 2 overnight bags lying around, secretly hoping someday they'll unpack themselves. Funny how my life revolves around traveling, packing and unpacking, and I still can't get my head around it.

Or actually, I'm just lazy. And a little bit sad. That's all.

Good news is, I'm back in Leicester for the next 7 weeks! And it's always nicer to be sad in my own room.