Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Tudung nangka.

You know those videos when babies say the funniest things? Well I have my own personal amusement too.

Adam. He says the funniest thing that I can't even guess where he gets that from. His English vocab is good, sometimes even better than mine. But his Malay.. I can only shake my head in amusement.

Last weekend I was in Belfast. As soon as I got into the car at the airport..

Adam: Babyyy why baby wear tudung nangka?
Bella: What tudung nangka?
Adam: Tudung like that. Like cempedak.

Guess what he meant by tudung nangka/cempedak.


It's just a freaking shawl! Okay I admit, he hardly ever sees me in shawls, but tudung nangka is just ridiculous? Gaahhhhh.

It reminded me of a friend's boyfriend. She only started wearing scarf when her boyfriend asked in pure innocence, "Kenapa awak pakai tudung macam telur?"

-_______________________-"

MEN.

Anyway the other day Adam said I was being a fashion 'terrorist' by wearing a shirt that matched the colour of my shoes. Surely he meant fashion crime?

I'm not the only one who finds his language amusing. Apparently Kak Dina too. Last time when we went to Kak Dina's place, Adam was describing his house by saying,

"Rumah dekat penjuru jalan tuu."

Really sayang??

Alright first, no one ever used the word penjuru in daily conversations.
And second, we all say corner or simpang. The meaning of the word penjuru doesn't even fit into the context.

He also likes to twist Malay idioms like, "Yang dikejar berciciran, yang di-something tak dapat" or something like that. It amuses me to no end when he tries really hard to find the right Malay words when he's trying to describe something. Bahahah.

Speaking of Kak Dina, well, she had a baby!


Right Baby Farha, you can now ask Uncle Adam when can you have a playmate.

#ovarybecalm

Friday, April 4, 2014

Ten facts.

Gosh, the last time I've done tags was like, four years back! That owes to the fact that (1) I don't really leave comments on people's blogs, and (2) let's admit it, I don't have that many friends to tag around, well not bloggers at least.

But anyways, this comes from Sara, and heck, for the fun of it (while humming We Are Young by Fun), why not!

Answer this with ten facts about yourself, then pass it on to ten of your favourite followers :D

1. I am at a point where I'm very happy with myself, my imperfections and flaws, that it's hard for me to feel inferior towards others, let alone envy them. Not in a stuck up or selfish kind of way, it's more like a contented feeling when you feel at peace with your inner self that you can't really be bothered to compare against others wth hahaha okay I should probably stop here. Anyways, that probably explains why I am not very ambitious and prefer to take life one at a time OK STOP

2. I'm friendlier/nicer online than in person. And I kinda like strangers.

3. I jalan tak tengok orang, just so that I can avoid awkward eye contacts. Actually baru tadi kena sergah dengan my friends sebab jalan menonong tak tengok kiri kanan haha! 

4. I label my socks, so that each one of them has a fixed partner, and not tukar tukar partner everytime lepas keluar washing machine. Good thing I don't name my socks.

5. I judge you if you drink Starbucks every bloody day and are proud of it.

6. I still have the idea of quitting Medicine from time to time.

7. I bruise very easily at random places out of nowhere, have massive bleeding at that time of the month til the point that I think I deserve to be diagnosed with monthly anaemia, and have very frequent gum-bleed. These, I believe, all fit into the category of some clotting disorder, except that I don't get nose-bleed at all so that's a good thing.

(I was so tempted to use menorrhagia, epistaxis and coagulopathy at some point in the above statement errkks)

8. I have a thing towards tall, fair men. Small eyes are bonus. I cairrr when I talk to them.

9. I can see the shadows of my eye-lashes in my vision field. I mean, don't everyone get that?

10. I have another private blog. AH-HAH!


Not gonna tag anyone cause I really can't think of anyone to be honest. Lol.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Half of the problems can be solved if only we listen more.

Most of the times we just want to be heard. To be acknowledged. If we can't have the attention in a nice way, we do the opposite. 

Children with behavioural issues usually just want to be heard. Or rather, demand to be heard. They can't have the attention they wish through the scores they get on a speeling bee competition, so they channel it through a different way. Tantrum. Temper.

"To some, it's better to be recognised in a bad way rather than not to be noticed at all."

So I've been seeing this one person for a few times now, whenever I feel the need to let things out and get myself back on track. Most of the times it's just to have someone who's really interested in how I feel and actually give it a thought, rather than seeking for the actual solutions. The options are there, but we both know that I won't go down the road I wish I could, for I don't have the gut to. So we play along knowing the conversation won't lead us anywhere but one - my sanity.

Sanity. Only by being listened to.

If only we listen more.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Happiness is knowing that Allah loves me more than my mom does.

We all need a little reminder every now and then about life and its purpose. So when a friend sent me a link to this video, I cried a little inside. I know the words by heart, but most of the times they are just mere words. It's when I truly stop and listen only then I can really feel it. 


"Happiness is knowing that Allah loves me more than my mom does." - IS, 2013

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Having kids.

The last few days Adam has been asking about kids. About my thoughts on having kids. Our kids.

Twice.

Alright chill people we are talking about life after graduation here, not something in the nearest time chillz yo.

The first time he asked, I couldn't remember what my answer was. But then when he asked again the very next day, I replied by asking if he remembered that he had actually asked the same question the day before.

Bella: You do realise that you've only asked this question yesterday right?
Adam: Yes, but you haven't answered.

And man I tell you this thanggg has just got serious.

Having kids is one of my biggest scare. No it's not the physical pain of bearing them that scares me. Dude, we medics are trained to deal with pain, remember? It's the psychological aspect of it. It's the idea of bringing a child into this confused world that scares the heck out of me. Do I let them watch the TV near Maghrib time when Ninja Boy is airing? What if they ask about the missing plane and the bomohs, what do I tell them? What do I do if they refuse to pray berjemaah? What if they throw tantrum in the middle of the shopping mall when I'm too busy choosing handbags and my bimbo mode is on the scale of 11.5 over 10?

Right I sound like a paranoid mum. A bimbo one.

Then there's the question of love. Will I love my kids enough to wake up in the middle of the night when they cry for milk? Boobs milk. Or will I simply nudge Adam and say, "Wake up baby, your kid's calling" and snooze back to my dreamland?

Agak agak macam mana perasaan mak kita sayang kita? 

Nothing compares to a mom's love for her children and I've always wondered. Even the Quran says that there are two specific things that we humans are deeply attached to.


I talked to a friend about this yesterday and she said it's pretty similar to the fear of getting married. Can anyone ever claim that they are ready to be a good spouse? I guess you never know until you become one.

I say it's quite different. I mean, even if you are lousy at house chores and cooking for example, your spouse is not going to die from starvation. There are take-aways, deliveries, you name it. But with a child? Can you afford to be lousy at parenting and nurturing them? *cringe*

There's also the fact that Adam and I have never really lived under the same roof. The longest would be around two months. Being the clingy wife I am, attention is the major question here. When we finally get to live in our own house one day. Like, finally. Undivided attention, hello?

I'm far from being a good wife, now we're talking about a good mother?

I guess it's just a feeling of personal inadequacy at the moment. Perhaps in time I'll grow and learn along the way, as I strive to become a better version of myself today.