Sunday, April 24, 2011

Dear stranger, we were invincible, remember?

Feelings change. They fade. They leave. Feelings belong to people, and people walk away. That's what they do.

Life is a cycle. Once a stranger, the next minute they mean the world to you, the next next minute, they're gone. Back to where you were. Strangers.

Stage 1: Meeting
Can't we stay? As strangers? The safest option. We've been living without each other for all our lives. For all we can remember, without even knowing each others' name. Just when I meet you, nothing much, you're just another stranger, the same goes to you. But wait, there's something about you. You seem different. I'd like to know you better. If we stay as strangers, then we won't get to know each other. I won't know how fascinating you are. You won't know how amazing I can be for you.

Stage 2: The Chase
The fun part. Stomach, meet butterflies. Exciting, full of adrenaline rush. We are so young, we are too crazy in love. Yes, it's love, who could ever deny that? We were invincible. You want me, come get me. Endless phone calls and texts, sleepless nights on empty talks with deep laughs. Hide and seek. Peek a boo. I'll do whatever you do, you'll be wherever I am. You're so perfect, don't you have any weaknesses? It's impossible to resist each other. So why can't we stay at this stage when life feel so good? No, if we stay here, stop here, then you won't be mine. I won't be yours. That's not good because someone can easily snatch you away from me. You're precious, I can't simply lose you.

Stage 3: Honeymoon
Finally, you're mine. We're safe with each other. No one can ever break us apart. My secrets become your truth. Your plans become my future. As we learn deeper about each other, we reveal the parts of us that have been hidden all this time. We start to see each others' flaws, but hey, that's okay. Isn't love is about accepting each other? Let's stay here then. But wait, if we settle down here, where's the future? Life has been so beautiful, let's go through some hardships a little bit further. I know we can make it. We're invincible, remember?

Stage 4: Comfortable
Towards entering this stage, I'm so glad that I have someone like you. Someone I can pour my heart out without worrying if I'll be judged. My hair can go out of place, you'll still see me beautiful. You can live unshaved for two weeks, I won't mind the scratch on my cheeks. We're good. You can play online games 24 hours, I'm cool with that. I can go out shopping having fun with my girlfriends, you won't mind. Don't feel bad about not sparing enough time for each other. We know we love each other, we're good staying as who we are. But this comfort doesn't seem right. It's too flat, nothing much exciting. Let's find the 'butterflies' again, shall we?

Stage 5: Tolerance
Where art thou, butterflies? Why, everything feel so plain, so usual. Have you lost your charm, darling? I'm sure I'm still the same. Wait, what did you just say? That you've been putting up with me and I'm the one who changed? Okay that sure doesn't seem right. But honey, we'll let it pass. And you're tired as well, let's not make this a big deal. No one changed, we are just.. You know, being mature I guess? We've accepted each others' flaws in Stage 3 and it was fantastic, now let's just live with it. We're good. Just good.

Stage 6: Downhill
Arguments should be healthy since we are actually expressing what we feel, and we are seeking for the solutions, just in a 'bolder' way than discussion. We might as well find the way out faster! But why, it doesn't work that way. These arguments make us tired. We're worn out. We can scream and yell and shout, but still, where is it going? Silence hurts. It hurts more than harsh words. But look, we are doing both! We fight and argue and say things, then we go silent, isn't that double the pain? I'm aching, I know you are too. But we're too busy dressing our own wound till we forgot that we are both bleeding.

Stage 7: Breaking up
Since when we're better off on our own when we were so sure that we were INVINCIBLE? How could you be invincible without me? It's US who are INVINCIBLE. Not you, neither me! But it's for the better. We might not be invincible, but that's how human are made. To have feelings, to be broken, then get up again and fight. We can't always win. We aren't immortal. NOTHING LASTS FOREVER.

It all started when "it wasn't bad, but it wasn't great".

And then "someone stops trying".

We were INVINCIBLE, remember?


Leng Chai said...

ahahhaa aku suke gak vid ni.
cakap pasal ko kat stage mane bella? 3? haha

farah said...

kebetulan ara pun post video tu kat fb hari yang sama bella post kat blog.huhu.kebetulan gilaaa :P
video tu sangatlahhhh sedih :(

Bella. said...

mau; aku stageless. timeless. ageless. forever. *geligeli*

ara; yup3 sad thing. tp bella pcy tak semua kena ending macam tu, as long as no one stops trying.