Truth is, I still can't get over it.
I've been crying since last night. And today I surrendered myself to another breakdown. In the hustle and bustle of the hall, I let my tears out, again.
I would say Nadd started it first, but then I was the one who brought up the issue so I might as well take the responsibility of it. I'm sorry Nadd. I'm sad too. And I can't help it. The fact that we feel the same thing without much effort to figure out how we feel about each other is just overwhelming.
And it's not just that. With all the craps happening the day before, I still feel weak. Helpless. I posted about attachment on Facebook the other day. Read (HERE). But now I think I might as well get a metal vase like one of my friends suggested.
You see, expectation can lead to disappointment. Another friend was telling me, "You can love people as much as you want, but put your trust in Allah. People fail us."
I would want to believe that she's just being human, that she makes mistakes as much as I do. Or maybe she's forgotten, or too worried that she voiced out her concern to someone else without realizing it.
But one thing I notice, if you're angry towards someone, it's rage that you're feeling. You can choose to hate them. Later you'll just forget them. No one wants to be reminded of someone they hate anyway.
But when it's heartbroken that you're feeling, it's disappointment that's controlling you. You'll keep on thinking, "How could you do this to me, how could you?" It's harder to get over it because it's not the people you hate, it's those who you actually trust, you actually care for. And they let you down, just because they're human. They make mistakes.
And by being human, they also deserve to be forgiven too.
"Ramai orang terpaksa sabar, tetapi belum tentu yang mendapat nikmat itu bersyukur."