It's happening again. Here. And now.
How long can a heart hold until it breaks? I remember asking myself that question when I missed a chance to go abroad last two years.
It all seems so fast. Two years passed, I'm in my second semester here in England, wondering what brought me here in the first place.
Someone said, "Sayang awak dekat parents awak yang buat awak tak give up selama nih. Sayang awak kat parents awak yang buat awak still buat Bio masa sekolah, still amek Bio masa IB, and sekarang buat medic. It's your love for your parents that keep you going all this while."
At that moment, I couldn't look into anyone's eyes. I'm afraid these dams will break, bursting into another same old story, how I resent my life all this while.
It has always been easy. All my life. But now? Things seem so bleak. I lost my motivation, I lost my vision. Someone who would easily go to the front and charm people with her confidence and her winning smile, where has she gone?
The love that kept me going all those painful years, isn't it still there? Why, have I lost it that I feel like giving up now?
We always think that Allah test us with pain and hardship, little did we realise that His nikmat might just be a test as well.
Kita lupa. Ujian itu. Nikmat ini. Manusia. Lupa.