Ever heard of the word 'epiphany'?
e•piph•a•ny a moment of sudden revelation or insight. (Apple Dictionary)
I learnt this word somewhere during high school. It sounds like elephant with funny ears. Since then it became one of my favourite words to use when I talk to myself. Well, other than 'sort of' and 'kinda' and 'like' and 'well' and 'I guess'. I tend to use these words 437289 times in the same sentence. Probably that's the reason why I sound very American. Though I'm not too sure if Americans do speak that way. Well, I guess.
.. I'm digressing.
So last weekend in Belfast, I had this epiphany. Of how blessed I really am. How happy I really am.
I think the trigger was Tsara's picture of three of us on Instagram the night before, with a caption "Me so lucky." At that moment, I wasn't too sure who's the luckiest among us three. Adam, who has a wife and a sister that get along really well, Tsara, who has an annoyingly protective brother and a super cool sister in law, or myself, who has it all - everything one can ever ask from their in laws.
It occurs to me that because my MIL treats me as her kid, rather than her son's wife, I tend to treat Tsara as a sister, rather than a wife to her brother. Gosh I can't be more confusing can I? Thing is, when it comes to Tsara, my guard as a sister rises.
And let's not go into how guarded I really can be when it comes to Adam.
The epiphany was something plain ordinary, paradoxically. It was simply pure, that when it hit me, I could only let out a sigh. A deep sigh, with Adam dozing peacefully right next to me. I was actually texting a friend in Malaysia for one good hour in bed, 'listening' to each other's stories, when the epiphany came.
The beautiful thing about that moment probably lied in the morning itself. I have always loved mornings, or rather, mornings in Belfast. It is that time when I get to stay in bed longer than I should and just enjoy the moment of tranquility and peacefulness, the calming sound of rain drops, the soft whispering breath from the person lying next to me.
I hardly do that in Leicester as I tend to be quite strict with myself in the mornings. The bed seems empty and cold and the last thing I want to do is wallow myself in the coccoon of sadness disguising itself as a fluffy double bed. So mornings usually means coffee, breakfast, and some revision. And obviously, the Internet.
So there goes - my epiphany the last time I remember it.
Ever had yours?