Best viewed with a female chauvinist mind set.

Why do people always claim that women are complicated, when the fact that most of our problem (women’s) are actually caused by MEN?

I know this one guy. When I say ‘know’, I really mean know. I mean, know by his name. Never talked to him, not even exchanged smiles. Let’s name him Mr. I-Know-Your-Name-It-Stops-There, abbreviated as Mr. IKYNIST. (pronounced Yikes, like YUCKS or something)

So everyone thought Mr. IKYNIST is a really good catch. Or WAS, should I say. He’s good looking, he’s charming, witty, everything a man should (not) be. Not sure about his brain, but he surely has something to make people like him. Yes, he’s so freaking famous that everyone wanted to know him and be his friends.

Except me.

I’m not sure why, but I really have a weird feeling towards him. It’s like something telling me that there was something that wasn’t right about him. No, we never talked. I had absolutely NOTHING to do with him. But somehow my gut just said no when it comes to him. No, he’s not that cute. No, he’s not that kind. And most of all, no, he’s certainly NOT that CATCH.

And apparently this Mr. IKYNIST had a girlfriend. His own *cough*classmate*cough*. The whole world thought they were such a cute couple. That girl was demure enough to fit his wit only not that good looking. That made people even more ‘amazed’ by his awesome powerful love as they thought he could have settled for someone (physically) better. Story short, one fine day, they broke up. His excuse was – they were better off as friends. As classmates. He didn’t want to hurt her if anything ever happened. His love was too PURE and ENORMOUS and HUMONGOUS that he couldn’t bear the idea of hurting her. CINTA AGUNG wtfish. Despite it was his decision to walk away from the relationship, he showed the world how devastated he was. The world bought it. OMG Mr. IKYNIST was hurt. OMG he’s so sweet to have that kind of thought. OMG I couldn’t believe there’s still a man who loves his girl strong enough not to hurt her and let her go.

But what makes me more suspicious pandang-slack towards this guy was that he became close to my dearest girlfriend! Let’s call this girlfriend Ms. Please-Don’t-Be-Stupid-Enough-To-Fall-For-Him. Abbreviated Ms. PDBSETFFH. (pronounced however you wish). They have been friends since like, forever. When this girl was going through a painful breakup with her ex, he was there. Now that he was going through it, she was there for him. But looking at the texts that they have been exchanging, (no, she gave them for me to read, I didn’t curi tengok okay), the first thing that came to my mind was, this guy was sure hell flirting with her. Man, nak break sebab sayang sangat tak sanggup tengok kau terluka sangat lah. Then you go around flirting with my girlfriend to buat apa? She was on cloud nine for a while, but reality set in. I kept telling her how my gut (yes, it’s my gut okay, not me) was feeling about him. She knew I was being protective, so she agreed. Gave him more time to show what exactly he’s trying to do.

And he kept being him. He wrote poems – friendship poems (lah sangat) for her. Send her song lyrics to tell her how meaningful their friendship was, how thankful he was for having her as a friend. Weh siapa tak cair dod? For me, I was like, hell, you like love (sayang) her as friend, cukup lah. Save all the poems, lyrics, notes for your future (if any) girlfriendS (notice the CAPITAL S). Wtfish tulis benda3 alah tu kat bestfriend? I remember one of his words, something that went like, we will always have each other.Even if they have their own lovers, they will still stick together. Ye lah, kawan kan. Kalau couple boleh break, kawan mana boleh break, forever lah. *mata berkaca3*

Til one day my gut finally found his (her?) victory. This Mr. IKYNIST apparently became close with his junior who’s like gila cantik (suits him lah kan?). Their status is still unknown, but everyone was against him like hell. Yeah, one minute you said you so bloody devastated breaking up with your girlfriend, next minute you were flirting with your so-called best friend, next next minute, you are with this one hot girl who’s a year younger than you? Wtfish? Trophy wife kah? And can’t you be more civilized? You broke up with your ex who’s also your classmate whom you will be seeing everyday (that if you don’t take fake sick leave), work with her in discussions, might even end up in the same Oral Assessment group! *coughcough* What happen to the OMG-I’m-So-Thankful-I-Found-You best friend? Nothing. He went like nothing happened, leaving her without a word, not a single text message. Pergh dulu semangat cakap kalau I ada girlfriend I sure cerita kat You sebab You lain, I tetap akan sayang You as kawan I yang selalu ada untuk I. Ayat-ayat cinta segala.

I don’t understand what this guy has been seeking actually. I still have absolutely NOTHING to do with him, but the fact that my gut has been feeding me with stuff (stuff that the brain cannot comprehend) and he was actually close to my girlfriend makes me more disgusted.

Now he’s officially Mr. I-Know-Your-Name-I-Know-What-You-Did-It-Makes-Me-(andmygut)-Sick.

MEN.