Sunday, March 29, 2015

The Advocate.

Last week I stumbled upon this personality test posted by others on Facebook.


And this is what I got.



It's scarily accurate, although I must admit the 'very rare' breed makes me slightly proud of myself, whatever it is supposed to mean.

INFJs indeed share a very unique combination of traits: though soft-spoken, they have very strong opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in. They are decisive and strong-willed, but will rarely use that energy for personal gain.

One of my KMB teachers told me this, once. I might appear pleasant and easy-going on the outside, but deep inside I'll hold strong to my values and often refuse to compromise. It's something that I take huge pride of, as I have my own set of values on how I should behave/think. For example, I won't simply say "I miss you too" when someone said they missed me, when the fact is I hardly noticed their absence at all. Unfortunately it's also a curse in the sense that I can't take "No" as an answer (this was actually pointed out by my dad when I was in high school). I despise going to social events when I know people will be late. It's against my value, and I believe their time is not any more valuable than mine, so I choose not to go at all just to spare me from the frustration of unpunctual people.

INFJs find it easy to make connections with others, and have a talent for warm, sensitive language, speaking in human terms, rather than with pure logic and fact. It makes sense that their friends and colleagues will come to think of them as quiet Extroverted types, but they would all do well to remember that INFJs need time alone to decompress and recharge, and to not become too alarmed when they suddenly withdraw.
When people find me friendly/pleasant on a first meeting, it's probably because of this. I have a tremendous interest in human mind, how they think, what they feel etc, not quite their life. Simplest example would be that I am more interested if someone enjoys their job and why they chose to do that rather than what they do and how much they earn from the job. The catch is, I often get tired from human interactions very easily. Great conversation, yes, now if you could excuse me to be on my own that would be great.

Strength
Determined and Passionate - When INFJs come to believe that something is important, they pursue that goal with a conviction and energy that can catch even their friends and loved ones off guard. INFJs will rock the boat if they have to, something not everyone likes to see, but their passion for their chosen cause is an inseparable part of their personality.
Now now, this probably explains why I still can't get my head around Medicine even after four years of doing it day in day out. My passion is slightly different from hospital life and all its glory. I am yet to rock the boat, although it's something that I might just look into if I had the courage. Not yet at the moment. Have I told you I've been considering to join TFM (Teach For Malaysia) after graduating? 

Weakness

Extremely Private - INFJs tend to present themselves as the culmination of an idea. This is partly because they believe in this idea, but also because INFJs are extremely private when it comes to their personal lives, using this image to keep themselves from having to truly open up, even to close friends. 
Part of this goes to the fact that I don't know how to open up, even to the closest of people around me. As a direct result, I often find myself crying hard at random times because I get really upset/frustrated about things. And by 'crying hard' I mean the kind of cry that you just break down slumped to your knees and sob your heart out for 30 seconds, or silently under the duvet til I fall asleep. Not proud.

Reading the whole thing feels weird, it's as if I'm looking at myself from my own point of view. I'm sure not all of them apply to me, just that the famous people with INFJ trait are all the noble ones - Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa.. They've all devoted their life to the betterment of others, making me wonder what am I doing at the moment..

Pretty much mengamuk taknak balik Peterborough every Sunday, chanting "Dowan go school" all the time. Haih bila lah nak besar.

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