love me again.

is it just me, or semester 4 IS actually killing everyone?

i'm tired. literally tired. i thought semester 3 was tedious enough. no, semester 4 has a lot more to offer. my energy is drained. i'm all messed up.

i'm going to flunk my chemistry. like hell, yeah. it's not like i don't understand what my classmates has been teaching in front, it's just that i couldn't remember a thing about what i just learnt 5 minutes after that. everything some sort of went blank. poof! disappear into thin air. this actually happens to all subjects, but it is very obvious when it comes to chemistry.

i used to LOVE chemistry once. yes, it was LOVE. and it's mutual. we love each other. i treated chemistry well, never slept in his class, paid my biggest attention to him. and he never failed to give me good grades.

but that relationship didn't last long. we had a fight somewhere in form 5. and i blew off. he said he was dumping me. heartbroken, i started ignoring him. and he, too, started to brag on how he could live without me. he went to see others behind my back. cheater.

but God knows best. somehow in SPM 2007, he came back to me. begging that i would take him in again. he gave me the most expensive gift that he could afford that time, a 1A. i was ecstatic. being young and free, i accepted him again, forgiving him for all the bad things he did.

we got along well since then. our relationship was perfect. we went to the same college, and had a good time together. semester 1 and 2 was our honeymoon year. in semester 2, he tried his best to show his love for me by giving me a 7, but somehow he failed. he ALMOST did, i could see the effort. but nevermind, my love for him grew deeper since then. i knew we could work things out.

in semester 3, the nightmare began. i became too busy. i did one of the biggest mistake since i started to be with him; i flirted. i went crazy over many other stuff, and i started ignoring him. things went worse each day, he just couldn't forgive me, and i couldn't care less. we became further and further apart in our own little lifeless IB world.

and he did the most unthinkable, unforgivable thing to me. he gave me a 5. a very weak 5. if it's not because we were once in love, i think he would have given me a 4 or 3. he really knocked me down. little did i realize how this bad romance could affect me this way. i stumbled.

now i'm learning to love him again. please, dear chemistry, forgive me. i miss our good old times together. can we at least be good friends?