Enough.

It's when you're alone that you start to ponder on life and all its blessings. A speck of dust. That's what we are, really. My first time back in Malaysia since earning the title 'wife' and I'm not sure if I really like it. Though I would say I'm doing pretty well.

Life is a blessing. Everytime (most of the times?) after prayer in my duas, I'd try to say it first - Thank you Allah, rather than jumping straight to 'Kau berilah sekian sekian..' There's nothing wrong with that, really. But I just feel that when I start it with counting my blessings, it makes me realise how much I've got. Cukup. Be enough. Contented. Isn't that what matters most?

I've been down with fever since day one of arriving KL. Still am. The last time I checked, I still have the temperature. Jujurnya, jauh dengan husband for the first time added with the fever is not what I expect from being home. And thanks to jetlag, but I've been waking up at 4am and I'm pretty sure that my feverish state doesn't agree to this. But I have enough. For the first time after so long.. We get to be all seven in the family. Now how often can I say that? That there are seven of us in the family in one place.

I have enough.

I talked to Ayah about things that I couldn't tell anyone, and he listened. And I realised how our mind are still very much alike, how he has the same thought as mine.. Now how many people can say that? That their father is their friend who listens to their thoughts.

I have enough.

Then my exam results came out in the email.

I definitely have enough.

Yesterday I went out with my mom in law, just following her around doing chores. Now how many people can say that? To have a date with your mom in law without the husband. To meet the in laws without the husband and actually looking forward to it, without a tiny fear of awkwardness. 

I have enough.

And we talked about how life brought us to where we are now.. About how things are going.. It makes me realise. I have more than enough. My life is not perfect at where it is now, but I'm grateful. I am more than happy. There are bumpy rides every now and then but it gets me back on track. And if that's what keeping me on the ground, then be it.

Everyone has their own struggles. One of mine is to feel enough. To be enough.

Kena.

Some random thought of the day --

What if for every blessing that Allah gives us, it comes with a test as well?

Macam mana kalau setiap nikmat yang Allah bagi, Dia bagi dengan ujian sekali?

Alhamdulillah. I'm home. Home as if, home.

For all that's been happening, Alhamdulillah. I thank Allah. 

And thank you for everyone's dua, directly, or indirectly. 

For you people reading this, thank you.

Semoga dengan setiap ujian Allah yang kita kena, 

kita ingat nikmat Allah yang selama ini tak pernah kita kira.

In transit.

I'm baaaaaaackkkkk!! Well not back back,  but back la somehow.

Been sooooo caught up with stuff since exam (even before!) that I can now finally sit and write something phew.

I actually went to Turkey for over a week right after exam. Packing, what packing? I literally threw stuff into my suitcase few days up to the departure date! Came back to Leicester last night with just my handbag because they left our suitcases in Zurich where we had our transit, grrrr, but that's a different story. Anyways, since I came back almost empty handed, I couldn't think of a single thing to do other than switching on the heater and bundling myself up in the duvet because it is soooo freaking cold here in the cold land! How la all my stuff still not here so how to unpack? D:

And to make things a little bit more interesting, I have another flight to catch this afternoon at 4pm to Belfast. Again, packing, what packing? Haha! Just got here last night at almost 10pm and I'm leaving again today at 4pm. Leicester is just another overnight transit! Undeniably the context of being back here is debatable hmm.

Warm greetings from Istanbul! 

(actually now from Leicester and soon to be from Belfast, lol)

The Hunger Games trilogy.

So umm guys this came in the mail just now and I am soooo excited that I just have to blog about it now. Like now NOW! True, I went to somewhere nice last weekend and I would love to share it soon but that can wait - this, this is the real deal!

THIS!

I know I know you'd probably be like, meehhhh we've all finished that loooong ago. But nuuuuu it's a big deal for me because (1) I'm not a big fan of fantasies, hence my lack of appreciation towards The Lord of The Rings and even Harry Potter :| Despite how people keep saying they grew up with it, I just watched the first two movies and forgot about them - it's too gloomy to watch! D: and (2) I don't buy books. Hardly. Ever. Buy. Books. I grew up reading a whole stack of hardback Enid Blyton series and some ancient Readers' Digest magazines in the 80s - 90s thanks to my parents, but no I don't use my pocket money to buy books. Books are too expensive!

Which is a very good reason for me to be excited about this time, because I got this trilogy of The Hunger Games for £4.49 delivered. SCORE!

And and aaaaand, I have to admit now that I have a Kindle, I prefer reading on Kindle more than paperbacks. Say what you have to say about nothing beats the good old smell of a fresh book, Kindle beats them all in term of convenience. Let's face it, books can be quite heavy especially when you want to read it before bedtime and holding the pages open can be annoying if not heartbreaking - well no one likes to crack the spine of a newly bought 400 pages book :(

And I read more with this Kindle. Ahh heavenly.

Just that The Hunger Games trilogy on Kindle is waaaaay too expensive. About 10 quids or so I think, and remember how I said I don't usually buy books? Point taken.

With regard to point number (1), the second movie Catching Fire got me sold completely! I hate how they leave it cliffhanging that I just have to buy the books to know what's next. GAHHH. I remember watching first The Hunger Games on my flight back to Malaysia and thought it was so good despite people around me saying it was so-so. Then Catching Fire came out and that's it, I'm done - Must. Buy. The. Books.

Sadly though I don't dare to unbox(?) them yet or else I'll spend hours reading them straight like how I did with Tony Parsons' Man and Boy before my summer exam last two years. Yes I passed Alhamdulillah, but the guilt of indulging myself in such a good book when I should be revising was just too much!

I guess it will be sitting at my bedside looking proud like a throne, for now. And now that excitement's over, back to revision! Have a good Thursday everyone!

Stomach flu.

".. Forgiving isn't something you do for someone else. It's something you do for yourself. It's saying, You're not important enough to have a stranglehold on me. It's saying, You don't get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future." - The Storyteller, Jodi Picoult

On a completely unrelated note, I have been 70% bed-bound for the past two days, making it a total of three days as the clock strikes 12 tonight. 

Yes yes it's yet another How I spend my winter break post. Which sadly, doesn't get better in time. I'm  caught up in what I'm pretty sure called as the stomach flu, or in its clever name viral gasteroenteritis. Which, let's be very honest, doesn't quite tally with all other symptoms that I have.

Stuff related to stomach flu:

Nausea, checked

Vomit, checked

Diarrhoea, checked

Bloating, checked

Abdominal cramps, checked

Mild fever, checked

Stuff I'm not sure why:

Massive intermittent abdominal cramps lasting 10-20 seconds every 15-20 minutes

Localised dull ache around the area of the xiphoid process

These two are pretty mysterious, and they're are the ones waking me up at night, horrifyingly. They seem more of a musculoskeletal stuff, but who knows? I'm not entirely convinced that it has to do with reflux and stuff since it really is pain, rather than burning sensation etc. And it doesn't go anywhere i.e. you get burning sensation behind your sternum up to your throat with reflux.

Sigh.

And no, I am not pregnant. Yet.

I rarely get gastrointestinal upset. Hardly. Ever. The foodie I am doesn't quite agree with it. Now that I'm having them, I can hardly eat and even if I do, I would be having a hard time to keep them down. I have been surviving on Milo, cereals and bread for the last 24 hours. And people, I really am desperate.

Had a friend staying over last night at our place who's been trying to coax me to eat regularly, albeit whatever it is. Another friend who gave the classic ever so well-known Chi Kit Teck Aun pill brought all the way from Malaysia just to see if it works. Another friend who suggests that ginger tea (or just ginger drink, really) would help. I took them all. I mean, I really took them all!

On a more positive note, I get to lay down for three days not feeling guilty about not studying whatnot and truly rest. No that's not quite true. I am worried about my revision especially when I'm planning to go somewhere nice this weekend and Adam will be here pretty soon and.. (I thought this should be a positive note?)

Okay back to to being positive, I finally get to finish Jodi Picoult's latest book The Storyteller yay! Bought it on Kindle and it's so good! Hence the quote above. Heh.

Above all, thank you for spending your precious minutes on this rambling - I am a baby when I'm sick. And please please, do pray for my health. Sakit kafarah dosa, true enough.

And pray for the flood victims in Pahang and Terengganu as well. The last thing I heard is Dungun is now flooding. And that's where I grew up, really.

Please be safe people, be safe!

How I spend my winter break in one picture.

So it's officially our winter break! A winter break that lasts til end of February 2014 (hopefully) with a gap of exam week somewhere in the middle, say whaaattt..??!? Anyways..

Before the start of my winter break

Remember these girls from my Sheffield post some ancient months ago? So yeah, half of them were here in Leicester last two weeks. Wait not even half.  Just the two of them - Ana and Edy. But never estimate their capabilities to run down a house. I had to apologise to my housemates in advance just in case we make weird noises in the middle of the night. Well these two can giggle like nobody's business with just each other's company, and now there was me, what do you expect? A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do man. Which is giggle all the way. And take loads and loads of selfies haha! There isn't much to say, really. It's just pictures of us. Yes, literally, just US, a bunch of giggling girls.

Don't say I didn't warn ye.

Clock Tower and all its glory of Christmas!

It's pretty obvious when it comes to our height. Also, Ana's reaaaaally good with selfie!

Seems like a pretty serious conversation for a mango, don't you think? Lol.

Notice how Edy's batting her eyelashes to the young seller. Haha!

They went all ooh-aahing at how cheap fruits and veges are at the market. And yes, it's our pride - the market. It seems quite dodgy lol to some extent, but here you can get a bowl full of clementines and oranges for £1, where you pay the same amount for 5 pcs in Tesco. Win!

Whenever you see pictures taken using self-timer, it's actually part of a series of pictures. I usually use timers in burst mode, say 10 captures at one time, hence all the weird poses lol. But for the sake for these unmarried ladies (thank you husband!), I'll save the worst for ourselves. Not gonna post any 'gambar tolak jodoh' as they claim it. Gambar tolak jodoh, how funny is that! Lolol.

Then we took it to the next level, to my bedroom. Double bed redefined, check.

Ana: Kau takde remote ke Bella? DSLR dah canggih dah, beli la remote pulak. Kata gadget freak.

Bella: Well, aku maybe gadget freak, tapi aku bukan selfie freak.

LOL.

This was when Ana got excited over my hairstyler that she decided it would make an excellent prop for a photoshoot. Dear Ana's future husband, bertabahlah. Kahkah.

And I just have to post this ---

This is usually how it looks like at the end of the burst mode - us rolling all over the place giggling laughing like mad. I couldn't even hold myself when I was going through the pictures - we were so ridiculous!

Ahh good times good times. Now I wish the rest of the bebimbos (haha) were here. Missing you guys. Sigh.

After the start of my winter break

Endless revision. Winter break at its best.