Reality hits.

Truth is, I still feel like this is a phase of my life that soon, is going to pass.

This, too, shall pass.

Like it's only temporary. But who am I kidding right?

Underneath what seems to be the perfect life that we have now, there's a major fear deep inside us.

The fear of, unhappiness.

We're both desperate to get out of medicine. 

Let's get that out of the way - loud and clear.

That's the main reason why I don't usually talk about medicine and the likes, other than some occasional rants on how swamped I was with school and studies.

Unfortunately when there's two of you doing what you don't like (almost hate, even), the intensity grew over time.

I, for example, was only a wee bit relieved when I found out that I passed finals.

And while working here in the UK might sound glamorous to some, no it isn't. Not especially when you dread what you're doing.

I'll give you an example.

Adam had a 4-day annual leave. He welcomed it as a good rest. We went out for meals, slept in til late, all was fine and dandy. Until the last evening before he had to start working again. He'd whine and wail and moan and complain and just dread going to work the very next day.

Repeat this for a whole year. What am I to do? Do I say quit your job and follow your passion like a good friend does? Or keep going, it will get better, spoken from a fellow medical colleague? Or the best one yet, unfortunately we'll need a stable job with stable income - coming from a wife (never actually said that, phew).

And now it's my turn. Soon enough I'll step into his shoes. I can already foresee how unhappy we'd become.

Actually..

I'm already unhappy..

I made it through medical school relentlessly praying for Allah to make it easy for me. To open up a path through this all. To soften my heart in medicine.

But next week.. Is real. Working life.. Is real. Being a doctor.. Is real.

(I re-read the above and saw Israel, lol)

And I only have prayers and Him to guide me, inshaAllah.

Doctor, est. 2016.

14-07-16

De Monfort Hall, Leicester

"Hey, don't you think that I should be a psychiatrist?"

Cause I always blow your mind away.

Dr Biby Girl.

A: Congratulations sayang! After this I call you Dr Biby okay?

B: Nuu I want to be Dr Girl.

A: You mean Dr Girl-Dont-Care?

...

Such a caring nick for a doctor!

(and if it was up to Adam, he'd have it spelled Gurl with a 'u')

Cringe.

Okay la okay la, not the most romantic conversation ever, but that's not the point.

Point is..

I'm a friggin' doctor!

I know right??!!?? Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar!!

Hehe fine la I'm a year behind most of my friends (since I took gap year in between IB and uni), but allow me to be uber-excited about this. I mean, trust me, I'm a doctor!

Can finally say that HAHAHA. *rolls eyes at future patients*

So yeah, I passed my Final Professional exam, Alhamdulillah.

And I owe this to a lot of people. A. WHOLE. LOT.

I mean, I could write a whole paragraph of "Ucapan terima kasih ditujukan kepada.." but I'll keep it short for now.

While a lot of people post their self-congratulatory and deep appreciation messages on FB, I feel like I owe this place more. You guys have been there throughout these past five years.

Thank you people. Thanks for the kind prayers, kind words, kind everything la. In fact sometimes when I'm feeling so down like I don't wanna do this anymore then a random comment popped in and I'm like, wow, someone's still reading this, cool or what?

Like some kind of occult motivation that you guys don't even know it, but it's there.

I've been wanting to write (and ramble, and whine, and rant!!) about my whole medical school journey, including why I don't usually write about my medical school life (haha, ironic), but that can wait.

I just want to take this moment in, to THANK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU, for just being there. Sometimes when I ask you guys to make duas, I really don't know if anyone actually would. But I believe, as Muslims, we should all make prayers asking for the best of everyone, and I know you guys are super awesome too! We'd never know whose duas are being granted.

So THANK YOU.

And yes, let's not stop praying, making duas, that He keeps granting the best to everyone, inshaAllah.

Signing off,

Dr Girl (who actually cares)

Vaginas, vaginas everywhere.

Someone commented that I rarely talk about school/medicine on my blog, so here goes.

Look at all the motivation I have.

(None).

This O&G block is starting rather slowly. Not complaining - in fact, thank you med school! Truth is since last week, I've only been to the ward once, a post-menopausal bleed (PMB) clinic, and a tutorial. Which btw, I don't wish to attend the PMB clinic again (which I will have to because it's on my timetable, sigh). 

Last time before we ended our geriatrics (equivalent to elderly care), our consultant wished us luck with the babies. I was so tempted to correct him by saying, it's actually vaginas. Vaginas, vaginas everywhere. Suffice to say I did not. Geriatricians can be very serious and lack of humour (in a kind way), I didn't think he'd appreciate me saying it.

So now yeah, vaginas, vaginas everywhere. Which doesn't help because I'm pretty disturbed by the sight of em thingies, male and female alike, since the theory years of med school. Even the sight of pelvic floor muscles in the anatomy textbook makes me cringe. Now.. We have the real stuff. Poking through the vagina, up through the cervix, into the womb.. Hysteroscopy, that is. Nevermind the pain. Doctor said it's like period pain, patient said bloody hell it was nothing like period pain! (Doctor was a male, btw). You know, male, period pain, um, what do they know? One after another. Cringe. Again. One after another. Cringe.

And I haven't actually seen/deliver a baby yet. Well, I've seen a caesarean before, not vaginal delivery though. Oh just the thought of it.. Cringe some more.

And poking through a pregnant lady's tummy to 'guess' the baby's position, poor mommy. I'll go for ultrasound instead, thank you very much. Which of course is not always the case since you can't get ultrasound in the community. Oh, poor mommys. This medical student has no idea what she's doing, we're so sorry.

It will get better as the block progresses, I believe. It definitely will. Meanwhile I'm off to poke some pregnant tummys in the antenatal clinic this afternoon.

(Going to thank my mom, again.)

Oh and gee.

Sebenarnya, bosan gila weh buat workbook. And sebenarnya baru perasan things related to O&G (that's obstetrics and gynaecology not oil and gas you engineer people) mostly warna pink. Like purplish pink, keperempuanan gitu.

How stereotype.

And sebenarnya semalam tak pegi sekolah sebab tak ready nak jumpa perempuan mengandung, nak beranak, keguguran, dan yang sewaktu dengannya lepas trauma tengok darah PV (per vagina) sorang pesakit hari Khamis lepas. Dia miscarry at 12 weeks, pada hari yang sama dia sepatutnya datang untuk dating scan.

Tengah bersiap nak pergi hospital untuk scan, tiba tiba sakit perut and keluar darah banyak.

Instead of pergi hospital nak tengok baby, pergi hospital untuk keluarkan miscarried baby dalam perut. Sedih.

Lagi sedih bila product of conception (in a very crude lay term, the miscarried 'baby') was a result of molar pregnancy. In another very crude lay term, boleh jadi cancer. Boleh jadi. Orang kita ni kadang kadang semua nak kanser je. So boleh jadi, ada possibility. Belum tentu lagi. Nurse cakap patient tak boleh get pregnant for another 6 months.

Sedih lagi bila husband patient tu is acually a paediatric cardiologist. At the same hospital. So patient tau/faham dengan apa yang berlaku, sefaham fahamnya.

Baru sehari pergi ward, sedih.

Then semalam satu hari berkurung kat rumah buat workbook pasal pregnancy and delivery. They put it as if pregnancy is a disease. Pregnancy is hard work. Babies are hard work. Mad respect untuk perempuan mak mak di luar sana. 

Atau mungkin dah banyak sangat bergelumang dengan cold hard facts kot. Perasaan mak sayang anak tu, Allah je tau.

Go thank your mom. Now.

Too many toes.

It's only mid February and I just found another pathology (read: something not quite right) on me. 

I've got flat foot on my left. 

Pes planus.

It all happened when we were practicing foot and ankle examination on each other. I was showing Nadd what to look for etc, when she said that she could see four toes from behind my left foot. 

Four. Friggin'. Toes.

No pictures cause kaki is aurat yo.

Orthopaedics 101: One of the things you see on someone with a flat foot is the "too many toes" sign. I know it sounds blatantly frank, but that's exactly what it is. Totally legit. Google it and have someone to look at yours. Hah. See how many toes they can see from behind.

Anyway, there it goes again, nearly 25 years of life and I just found out that I have a flat foot on the left.

That's three self-diagnosis in a month and a half guys, THREE.

2015 is going to be an interesting year..

Stomach flu.

".. Forgiving isn't something you do for someone else. It's something you do for yourself. It's saying, You're not important enough to have a stranglehold on me. It's saying, You don't get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future." - The Storyteller, Jodi Picoult

On a completely unrelated note, I have been 70% bed-bound for the past two days, making it a total of three days as the clock strikes 12 tonight. 

Yes yes it's yet another How I spend my winter break post. Which sadly, doesn't get better in time. I'm  caught up in what I'm pretty sure called as the stomach flu, or in its clever name viral gasteroenteritis. Which, let's be very honest, doesn't quite tally with all other symptoms that I have.

Stuff related to stomach flu:

Nausea, checked

Vomit, checked

Diarrhoea, checked

Bloating, checked

Abdominal cramps, checked

Mild fever, checked

Stuff I'm not sure why:

Massive intermittent abdominal cramps lasting 10-20 seconds every 15-20 minutes

Localised dull ache around the area of the xiphoid process

These two are pretty mysterious, and they're are the ones waking me up at night, horrifyingly. They seem more of a musculoskeletal stuff, but who knows? I'm not entirely convinced that it has to do with reflux and stuff since it really is pain, rather than burning sensation etc. And it doesn't go anywhere i.e. you get burning sensation behind your sternum up to your throat with reflux.

Sigh.

And no, I am not pregnant. Yet.

I rarely get gastrointestinal upset. Hardly. Ever. The foodie I am doesn't quite agree with it. Now that I'm having them, I can hardly eat and even if I do, I would be having a hard time to keep them down. I have been surviving on Milo, cereals and bread for the last 24 hours. And people, I really am desperate.

Had a friend staying over last night at our place who's been trying to coax me to eat regularly, albeit whatever it is. Another friend who gave the classic ever so well-known Chi Kit Teck Aun pill brought all the way from Malaysia just to see if it works. Another friend who suggests that ginger tea (or just ginger drink, really) would help. I took them all. I mean, I really took them all!

On a more positive note, I get to lay down for three days not feeling guilty about not studying whatnot and truly rest. No that's not quite true. I am worried about my revision especially when I'm planning to go somewhere nice this weekend and Adam will be here pretty soon and.. (I thought this should be a positive note?)

Okay back to to being positive, I finally get to finish Jodi Picoult's latest book The Storyteller yay! Bought it on Kindle and it's so good! Hence the quote above. Heh.

Above all, thank you for spending your precious minutes on this rambling - I am a baby when I'm sick. And please please, do pray for my health. Sakit kafarah dosa, true enough.

And pray for the flood victims in Pahang and Terengganu as well. The last thing I heard is Dungun is now flooding. And that's where I grew up, really.

Please be safe people, be safe!

Medicinal movie.

Being the nerd me, I have always preferred reading as compared to watching movies. The attention span of a goldfish of mine tends to drive me asleep when I watch movies on laptop or sometimes even on TV. And just in case you're wondering, no, it never happened while in the cinema, except a few minor occasions of midnight movies. On a side note, you should probably know that I am good at sleeping at random places or events, even in the karaoke box, or in the LRT back in KL, while STANDING. Guess I just found something that I am good at, heh. 

Anyway, there was one time last summer when I really wanted to watch Salt because I haven't seen it in a while and why not, it was a good movie. Well at least I thought so. 

We caught the movie on HBO twice, which on both occasions, predictably, I fell asleep. I made a mental note and even told Adam at the beginning of the movie that I reeeeeally wanted to watch the whole movie! So much determination for something that you can download for free huh. But then.. I failed miserably by sleeping peacefully on the couch. As expected. I mean, seriouslyy??!?

But there's one thing that I would definitely go for a movie - clinical examinations. Never in a thousand years do I want to read them up.

Also, I have to shamelessly admit that this is my first time using the CD player on the MacBook Pro. Finally it came to a good use. Pfft.

Here's to a hiccupped four-day weekend!

Sick.

Went to see the GP yesterday.

After a month's worth of history and examinations (and that included a pregnancy test lol)

....

ONE FREAKING WEEK OFF!!

Told you guys, I'm really sick :(

Analogy.

"You have to know what is the concept of diabetes. Let's do an analogy. Imagine, like Malaysian politics, we have llooooaddsss of money, but all the money goes to Najib. The money doesn't reach us. So what happens? Overall the country still has no money, we are still poor."

A Malay Registrar in UK

Reality check.

I'm going into my third week here in Belfast.

Well of course I've been very busy lately doing.. Nothing. Uh okay not really nothing, as I've had a meeting (to make it sound like some serious work lol) with the dearest Kak Dina, my housemate back in Leicester but now a doctor in Belfast. And also my only friend here (yezzz how sadzz sobzz) Fadzlin, going to the city wasting money riding the bus (because jalan kaki is too mainstream) etc but basically that's about it.

And I can't hep but miss Leicester a bit. A very little bit. Kinda. But not too much. But still miss it. Okay seriously wth?

Sooooo, to cure this longing heart towards the pretty little depressing Leicester back in England, I've decided to pay my university mailbox a visit. It's been long since I last heard from them, especially when I took off to Malaysia like nobody's business early summer.

And to my horror, here's what I found.

The. Rest. Of. Your. Vacation.

Yeah right.

You might not get what the timetable is saying, well I so totally understand, because me myself was like, wth? I thought we only have sekolah petang in second year, now what's with the AM (morning) session group activities whatnot?

My whole life was a lie.

Then came this.

Ummi was testing if she got my email right, and so she sent a message with a nice hint of sarcasm.

What do you mean revision? Did you not remember that I'm not in Leicester where my thick heavy dreadful books are? And that Adam is such a gifted child that he need not books to do Medicine? And, oh, what's with the LOL?

(cries)

Suddenly it hit me if Ummi really meant Laughing Out Loud, or just Lots of Love as she usually said that. I'd prefer the latter though. (cries again)

Btw I think the whole message was really meant to say;

"Now that you're married, so what? Get back to your books!"

Sigh.

And so the cold reality checks in.

One way flight.

Say hello to Leicester in two weeks time!

Forgotten.

It's happening again. Here. And now.

How long can a heart hold until it breaks? I remember asking myself that question when I missed a chance to go abroad last two years. 

It all seems so fast. Two years passed, I'm in my second semester here in England, wondering what brought me here in the first place.

Someone said, "Sayang awak dekat parents awak yang buat awak tak give up selama nih. Sayang awak kat parents awak yang buat awak still buat Bio masa sekolah, still amek Bio masa IB, and sekarang buat medic. It's your love for your parents that keep you going all this while."

At that moment, I couldn't look into anyone's eyes. I'm afraid these dams will break, bursting into another same old story, how I resent my life all this while.

It has always been easy. All my life. But now? Things seem so bleak. I lost my motivation, I lost my vision. Someone who would easily go to the front and charm people with her confidence and her winning smile, where has she gone?

The love that kept me going all those painful years, isn't it still there? Why, have I lost it that I feel like giving up now?

We always think that Allah test us with pain and hardship, little did we realise that His nikmat might just be a test as well.

Kita lupa. Ujian itu. Nikmat ini. Manusia. Lupa.

Puteri Gunung Ledang in Leicester.

Last bit of Nusantara Week wuhoo! We had a Movie Night in the Lecture Theatre watching Puteri Gunung Ledang which was awfully romantic AWWHHH (provided you really pay attention to the classical words uttered by Tuah played by M Nasir). And dreadfully slow too. So, nope. Not my kind of movie, sadly. I was playing DrawSomething the whole movie and occasionally turn to Faizul asking, "Siapa ni? Apa dia buat? Kenapa macam ni?" Kalau masuk real cinema memang mintak penampar lah. But it wasn't that bad either. Except that I didn't expect to come all the way to uni watching an almost 2-hr movie only to be greeted by an ending sounded "Since then, no one heard from those two.." I guess the director ran out of things to say but still.. Rasa macam ending tergantung. Frustrating!

Anyhow, I was the person in charge to lead the audience that night. Well. Kinda. But silly me was being really really silly. For God sake, it's a Leicester event! And look what I was wearing for the night.

Name introduction to greet the guests, checked.

Uni-patriotism wise, FAIL.

If I were the event manager sumpah dah lama suruh perempuan ni balik tukar baju.

University of Lepak.

Yes I know it's Tuesday morning I ought to be getting ready for class but heck, who cares. Membebel to myself sounds waaaay more interesting than poking digging some dead stranger's butt in the cold underground room smells of death.

And of course, I have to edit some stuff from Nusantara Week booth yesterday but sorting, compressing editing some 300-ish pictures isn't really what I have in mind now. Oh, I've been meaning to share the grandeur of Malaysia & You Belfast Gala too, but that too, as usual, can wait.

Because now, I want to membebel about my uni, my very own beloved university, University of Leicester. If that doesn't sound impressive enough, add the word England, United Kingdom at the back. Hell-oooo, who doesn't love UK, you tell me?

Last night Adam called (as usual bugging my beauty sleep which he is more than welcome to do so) for some usual of non importance stuff. Like how my Internet is still lagging like siput sedut (sucking snail?) etc. Then he asked the most obvious question, "Esok kelas pukul berapa." Following my answer, which is almost obviously everyday at 1pm, he went like, "Leicester study lepak kan?"

GAAAHHHH. DAANGGGG. Shoooot. BRRRRR. Heheuhueuoheuihehii.

Which reminded me to the time when we were eating kueyteow kung fu ramai ramai with some seniors at rumah Intan. We were talking merepek buat kerepek on what brought us to Leicester.

Not surprisingly, one of us was successfully drugged by Kak Dina (a final year Medic now, aka my housemate, Hi Kak Dina lol) saying how studying in Leicester so lepak. Class at 9am-1pm and off you go. No essays, no assignments, N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Well meeting patients is of course, part of it, kata nak jadi dokter haruslah bermanis muka bersenyum mesra jumpa patient, ye dak? But that is like, 5-6 times in 2 semesters? Did you hear me? 5-6 kali je pegi hospital jumpa patient wa cakap lu. 5-6 kali ikut syarat, sometimes it's just 4-5 times. And additional seminars/class/lecture in the afternoon is so rare, you get that like, twice or thrice a month, more often less.

Memang lepak tahap moksha der.

But the thing about being lepak tahap moksha, you become lonely. Yes, lonely and depressed. And there isn't that many Malaysians here, most are doing Medics, which is another reason for loneliness since we're all so kiasu one. *sniff  Evryone's at home, studying like mad (at least that's what I think) If not Medics, they'd be doing Maths from KPM scholar, and some lucky enough from Bank Negara scholars. Tadaa. That's it. Very few private students who I often find very cool because they do courses out of the norm like, cool gila weh aku datang buat Medic je, typical stereotype sungguh. And almost none Engineering students yang berfungsi untuk memeriahkan suasana most of times because that's how I know Engine people, fun and crazy and more often than not, annoying. LOL!

And by that, it's pretty obvious that we don't have that much of Malaysian events, gathering and stuff. And we don't have that many postgrads with cars that we can tumpang HAHAHAHA wtf! Really. Leicester is like, so homey so kampung everyone seems so happy and contented no real shit going on we are just like a small happy family living in the sub-urb area an hour train from London.

NOT.

Now back to the lepak stuff, yes, we do lepak most of the time. And whine on how much work we have to do since we have our own handbook yadda yadda bla bla. But HA-HA, all talks and no work (epitome of Bella). Hoi uni lain assignment every week kena submit, kau tau?

But then again, our exam is formatted in by far the most horrible meanest way. We don't have specific papers, like Anatomy, Physiology, Neurology, bla bla. NOOOOOOO. We have two papers, Paper I and Paper II at the end of every semester and every single thing you learnt that semester and from previous semesters is chucked in them. There you go. EAT THAT. Imagine, one semester got 5 modules, add up to previous semester, that's 10 already. That is only for first years. Mix 10 modules in two papers of one hour forty minute each, and you'll get a nice combination of anxiety, nervouseness, palpitation and constant worrying (without much work done lol). And all that is gained even 5 months before the actual exam is, provided you have the lunacy to think of exams when it's winter break la.

Ahhh. Allah Maha Adil kan? Those universities with whole load of coursework and stuff, the exam wouldn't be as mean as ours. But us, who got time to lepak most of the time, the exam so horrible you feel like strangling yourself from the ceiling or drowning in the bath tub just thinking of the exam.

JANGAN MENYERAH.

Here's a little something to show how lepak (and awesome) we are here in Leicester.

New recipe from Abil..

iPad cream cheese tart.

Warwick Malaysian Games.

The EPICNESS.

The bajet wing attack.

The team.

The team in action.

The injured one.

The duit raya.

The bullied one.

The classmates.

The nasik goreng sambil berjalan -.-

The nasik kerabu satu share empat orang.

The collegemates.

The *insertwhatyoulike*

The gemuk suda :(

The sharp shooter.

The nasik ayam taukey (and nasik lemak sambal kerang!)

All  in all, Warwick Malaysian Games was a blast! I mean, really. We won 3 games and lost 3 (and that makes 6 games altogether, phew), but what made everything worth it was these three people! Since I'm dead broke, everything was sponsored (and shared?) HAHA!

We went crazy and gaga laughing all the way, almost got wrecked down by car, in search for Mau's darling LOLOLOL and everything! Farzan with his hideous bruise (no offence) and Mau (yang tak main pun senanye HAHA!) were busy planning out strategies netballers should adapt, which was of course, was insanely hillarious! Worse, they were cheering Edy the sharp shooter while she's playing and distracting other players as well. Huiehhehehhehh malang la Cardiff dapat supporter camtu.

Thanks Farzan for the burger trolley Sainsbury and nasik kerabu duit raya tak jadi :( Also for the nasik goreng tengah jalan and banananananana!

Thanks Mau for the bus fare (as your little sister like you claimed) and mocha coffee break before train ride!

Thanks Edy for the nasik kerabu shared by four people walaupun takde la kenyang sangat tapi best gilaaa!

Sumeorang, THANKS FOR THE DAY!

At the end of the day I was already half dead. Well perhaps it's just me exaggerating, but being in Leicester with very few Malaysians and never-ending studying people so kiasu one, this is just what I need, a getaway, a break, a DENIAL wtf! HAHAHAHAH!

Okay people, back to depression mode. Nasik ayam in two weeks time, cant waittt!

Major crush on.

I'm not that into Tissues of the Body modules, which basically is all about human anatomy and histology and stuff, but this lecturer makes it so hard to resist, despite having 8.30am Wednesday classes as compared to 9.00am on other days.

People, meet Dr H.

So we had the last lecture on Tissues of The Body last Wednesday (don't ask, I forgot what it was about), and Dr H with his overflowing charm made us go through a quick test for his mid-lecture break.

We were all given a piece of paper each to write down our answers to 5 questions and our names. After the last question, he announced that everyone would have to submit the answers via air mail.

And by that, he meant paper planes.

Yes, PAPER FREAKING PLANES.

Imagine how cool was that? Everyone was busy folding their paper planes using the answer papers and launching them into the air, hoping that those planes would get to the front stage of the lecture. We could see like many many many paper planes flying in the air and some of them even landed on others but no one really cared. It was the joy of launching paper planes, aiming them to your lecturer at the front! I was, of course, trying hard to capture this epic moment but obviously, turned out as an epic fail since 4S is just a phone, and I was shaking out of excitement.

Serious excited gila.

See those paper planes on the right? That obviously would not make it to the final front stage terminal.

He then collected the "assignments" one by one to check on who got it right, and announced their names saying that he'd reward them with stuff.

One of the assignment papers he claimed to be void due to improper folding of the paper plane. It was actually a paper merely crumpled thrown to the front stage (because not every paper plane can easily make it to the front especially if you're sitting at the back of the lecture hall)

Later on he chose winners who got the answers right and said that he'd give them presents, which were actually stuff from his office! Some were medals, a can drink, old Histology books, instant noodles and stuff.

Like seriously, not only his method of assignment submission was cool, he even said that the due date has passed, that those who submitted late wouldn't be counted even if they (they paper planes) made it to the front!

I know my writing is doing injustice towards him, since only those who were in the lecture hall will get what I mean. I was, literally, shaking while watching the whole lecture theatre bustling with excitement and the air filled with flying white papers.

Sumpah, lecturer ini sangat charming. 

Exam anxiety.

I need more space. So that my books can cover a wider surface area of the room. Because it makes me feel good. Even if I don't read them.

Charming lecturer is charming.

Meanwhile in the Histology lab;

"So let see what we have here. Many bits of nuclei, two periosteum, a transverse section of a fascicle and.. A broken slide." 

...

PAUSE. 

*chuckled to himself*

DR H, Y U SO CHARMING???

The third day of my medical career.

Semalam.. Hari gembira.

It all started when I called Yana and she was like, SPEECHLESS when she heard my voice, and I was like, NAK NANGES when I heard hers. We both were like, FINALLY.. For some, this might be nothing big, but for us, to be in the same time zone again, in fact, the same country, means more than anyone could think. She rang back realizing that she could better make use of her free calls rather than draining my credit. Even when I was back in Malaysia, she called from time to time, just to check on me since she hardly went online on Skype and I didn't have my FB back then. The call lasted for almost an hour and she kept on asking, macamana nak pergi Leicester, naik bas ke train ke. And I was like, Leicester takde pape, dia kecik je and everything within walking distance. But what touched me the most was, "Bella dah kat sini, makin ramai la orang kat sini, SUKAAA! And mestilah pergi Leicester at least sekali, Leicester kot." Paling tak tahan bila dia cakap, "Nanti nak tanya B macamana nak pergi Leicester, tak pun nak ikut je dia." HAHA :D B is actually someone in Newcastle whose girlfriend is in Leicester. Cute much, no? Yana Yana :')

Then Izleen buzzed on Skype, after aaaaaages of MIA since there's no Internet at her place. Apa lagi. Spill lah. We both have like, GAZILLIONS of things to spill, and we kept on rambling Skyping til I became veeeery sleepy that I decided to go to bed. And as usual, macam biasalah kalau Skype dengan Leen, gelak macam hantu, then menangis macam orang gila, lepas tu masing masing stare at each other tak cakap apa apa. Yang kelakar is bila dia happy, and I was feeling pretty low, and she kept asking, takpe ke. As if takpe ke kalau dia bahagia masa I tengah down. Haha comel gila. Well you can't stop someone from being happy when they deserve it just because you're not, kan? I am happy for her. NANGES.

The day went pretty much as usual. The lectures, group work and such. But it ended at 1 and my group decided not to continue with discussion at 2! Now how awesome is that? So basically after 1, we were free to go. I headed home alone, bawak all the handbooks berat gila but I was feeling extremely jovial that I sang along while walking. Ya Allah, semalam sangat bahagia. Syukurrr.

And have I mentioned how bright and sunny yesterday was? 

"It's exceptionally warm and sunny today, right?" Dr. H while greeting me at the hallway in the morning.

Later in the afternoon around 2 something, I went to town alone. This time snapping pictures here and there, going to meet Nad and Faizul to open a bank account.

Alone. And I have never felt this free and easy.

And I managed not to sesat at all! Wow, satu pencapaian Bella dan jalan.

So we met at HSBC, and it took merely half an hour during the whole account opening thing and wallaaa, I'm done! The bank officer was very pleasant and he kept on saying how Malaysia is in his list of countries. Tak tau kalau dia just nak ambil hati ke apa, but surely, that made my day more than ever.

I just love the day.

Then while waiting for Nad and Faizul at Lloyds, I took my solitary walk, jalan sorang3 masuk all the kedai and everything, and finally Primark. Got myself a pair of a not so cantik selipar rumah, but very comfy, and again, they made me happy.

Lepas jumpa Nad and Faizul, we went everywhere we could, randomly entering stores and all. We went to Pound Stretcher, Argos and many other kedai, especially the Pound World, Pound Land and such where everything is one pound. Haha what a cheapskate!

And we walked home feeling extremely penat but satisfied an all of us agreed, the day was a happy day.

Alhamdulillah.

Jarrom Street, where my second home is.

Falls

LRI - Leicester Royal Infirmary

Town

Clock Tower

HSBC

Ecstasy

Sounds familiar, anyone?

H&M and Primark

Inside Primark

Nad and Faizul

Jason Mraz in town

Argos, household heaven

T-Mobile, O2, Orange, Vodafone, Three, they're all dekat dekat. Rivals.

Poundland where everything is 1 pound

 

Bella?

Look!

Self-portrait in the mirror! *proud* 8)

Orang orang berjasa tolong angkat barang. Thanks korang :')

Beautiful disaster

Simple things make me happy - door hook from Argos

Phase 1 Handbook o.O

Happiness factor - I finally got myself a mirror!

And lastly..

A leopard-print 'throw'. It matches the duvet perfectly. Complete happiness!

Coming back from town, someone said something on Facebook which made my heart leapt to cloud nine. Rasa macam, nak nangis there and then. It's not like, gembira yang ecstatic. It's more like, THANK YOUUUU, you really made my day. And I feel loved. Especially now when things are very rough and the uncertainties are killing me to bits. 

Harus kuat!

Thank you Allah for this amazing life I have. Syukur Alhamdulillah.