Remember when I said I quite like Lincoln?

Well I'll say it again. 

I quite like Lincoln with Adam here. 

Now that Adam's gone back in Belfast, I hate it to the core. 

I hate the eerily quite evening in the flat. I hate the sound of cars passing through the main road near the hospital. I hate the orange light in my room. I hate the shared kitchen. I hate the loneliness that creeps up whenever wherever.

I hate it that Adam is not here on the swinging chair with his eyes glued on the laptop watching World Cup. I hate it. I hate it to the core. I hate that I can't hear his voice pestering me trying to get my attention for little things. I hate that I won't get a bear hug for at least another five weeks. I hate that I have to sleep alone at night and wake up to a cold empty bed. I hate it. I hate it so much that I want to scream at everything. 

I hate that I'm crying my heart out with my head pounding hard while writing this.

They said it gets easier with time.

They lied. 

It's never easy. It's never meant to be easy.