Monday, October 31, 2011

Challenge accepted.

Remember this?


Sunday, October 30, 2011

Hello winter!

Scary much, no?

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

You can break everything down to chemicals; but you can't explain the love like ours.

“When you love someone, you say their name different. Like it's safe inside your mouth.”
― Jodi PicoultHandle with Care

Monday, October 24, 2011

Baru fun.

Gtalk with Ayah. Punya lah mengada tak habis habis tanya bila nak datang. 
Lepas tu siap menjawab lagi at the bed side can? Haish Nabilah ni.

Tapi takpe.

Baru fun.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

So you think you've got problems?

In the midst of of studying Homeostasis when I saw someone posted this on Facebook.

Couldn't help but shed a tear. Sunday morning and crying? Woah not bad, Bella.

I've been through both. Ditinggalkan dan meninggalkan. Once, I was all alone in Malaysia when all my friends found their way abroad, UK, Ireland, India, Australia and such. Now here I am, in the UK, which sadly, not less alone than I was.

And I'm the one who left.

A friend back in Malaysia once said to me, "Jangan nak sedih sangat lah nak fly, kau yang pergi, kau yang tinggalkan orang, kau takkan rasa sebab kau start new. Excited. Tapi orang yang kena tinggal ni lah yang rasa sakitnya hilang kawan."

Trust me friend, I've been there.

Tapi korang tau tak yang aku kat sini pun tak kurang sakitnya?

Same old issue, I'm not into Medicine. A year of brain dormancy before starting to do things you're not looking forward to isn't helping much. New place, new people, new culture, new WEATHER. Kau ingat best ke?

And with what happened recently (well not so recent, but it seems like yesterday to me), lagilah sedih. It's something you can't help but be sad all the time. It's at the back of your mind, 24/7. You seem fine on the outside, but inside, you're crying. Constantly. You laugh while telling others how "fine"you are, but deep inside, you just want to cry. To the right person.

Ya Allah, sedih yang macam, "Please lah, I've had enough. Taknak dah." Tapi sedih jugak.

Then there comes the weather. Belum winter pun lagi, tapi sejuk dah macam menggigil sampai taknak keluar duvet. Kadang kadang tu bukan malas study sangat pun, tapi sebab sejuk sangat terus shut down. Tambah pulak dengan tak minat subjek, lagi lah. Horror I'm telling you.

Tapi apa yang orang nampak? Wahhhh seronoknya study UK. Negara orang, sejuk, best, nanti ada snow.


(okay I know that hewhewhew is annoying and has nothing to do with the above statements whatsoever, but, whatever)

Sometimes, we need to be reminded on how fortunate we are. Kita nampak orang macam okay je, macam best je, but inside, who knows. Takde orang tau. Kalau la kita tau masalah orang, perasaan orang, would we still feel the same about ourselves?

“Don't be jealous of anyone. I guarantee you, if everyone walked into a room, and dumped their problems onto the floor, when they saw what everyone else's problems were, they'd be scrambling to get their own problems back before someone else got to them first.” 
― Kim GruenenfelderA Total Waste of Makeup

The other day my lecturer said, "You never know how people love to talk about themselves until you give them the chance to."

Mungkin kita patut kurangkan bercakap pasal diri sendiri, and care more about others instead. Ask them how they're doing and such. Rather than cari orang untuk men-dump-kan masalah and kesedihan diri yang entah sampai bila tak habis. Dah la benda sama all the time. Slow learner (again)?

Quoting a friend, "Kau nak menyusahkan siapa lagi kalau bukan best friend kau?"

Tapi kan Bella, masa kau "susah"kan best friend kau tu, kau tau tak kalau kalau dia lagi "susah" dari kau?

*** so much of a Sunday morning ..

Saturday, October 22, 2011

A month in the UK.

I have a thing towards matching stuff. HUGE thing.

Why I bought Phye despite the slightly above the top price? No it's not the Wifi function, nor the printing speed whatsoever. It's simply because Phye is too sleek and sexy to be resisted (no, seriously I mean this) and it's a Canon. And everyone knows my EOS 550D is a Canon too. (I'm thinking of changing his name to Ken rather than Eric, but we'll see) And it's black! So there goes, two black Canons on my black wooden shelf.

Then looking back when I was still in Malaysia, I got myself a hard drive, Seagate, in silver. Why silver? Because of my Mac. It's silver and they look as if they come automagically in package. Smart, huh?
Even the casing has to be in silver too.

The other day, I bought a Nike sports tote just because it's black and pink, and it matches my Nike backpack perfectly. I'm not sure if I'm gonna need the tote bag so desperately, but heck, it matches well. So.. There goes my pounds T______________T
And these two make a perfect match, though I'm not sure if I'll need them both at the same time -.-
Later I bought myself a new bedsheet (which is really really unnecessary) in black. Yes, pure solid black. Why? Because my bookshelf is black, so is the chair I bought from Argos. So the bed HAS to be in black. The fact that it's brown annoys me. So I decided to get over it, and just buy another one.

Thing is, my fleece throw is actually in brown leopard print.

Now I'm annoyed. Again.


But last night was Friday night, and I was having ultimate fun with Nad. No, not 'that' kind of fun. Just you know, strolling around the town at night, having coffee, going in and out of shops without buying anything.. Things that we, girls do.

So I got myself a pair of new gloves, which the colour doesn't seem like me, but it's warm and it has got the 'hood'. So in love!
Jari gemuk gemuk.

Then we went to Apple Store at Highcross to get my iPod cleaned. Too bad they said the scratches and marks couldn't be removed, they leave some sort of permanent stain on the iPod. My heart sank like gila, especially when the iPod has been in its casing for a long time, and it's the case that actually leaves the mark. Sumpah sedih gila woh.
It's more obvious and heartbreaking in real life, trust me.

There are not much of scratches, but the marks are like, some kulapuk berkulat whatever on the steel. Funny right? No one could explain why. But then this little fella also got a new home, for free! See the transparent hard plastic case? It's a bit chipped off at the side, and it was the last one at the stall. So the stall keeper just decided to give it to me for free. Like seriously, FREE OF CHARGE. No other purchase, NOTHING. He's a Muslim, originally from Pakistan, and has been wanting to go to Malaysia for ages! I could see he's having a hard time in Leicester, but well, I pray that Allah eases his way to whatever he wishes in life.

So here goes, the iPod in new (hopefully stain-free) case.
Not so flattering with the scratches and all, but at least it won't stain even more.

And early this morning I received my Railcard via mail. Applied online couple of days ago and tadaa, it'se here!
Muka macam hewhewhew.

On another note, I find it hard to actually sit and study and churn all the facts in my medical books. Seriously, dah la memang tak minat :( But again, may Allah grant me strength to keep going. 

I know the road is long, make me strong!

Thursday, October 20, 2011


Gambar sekadar hiasan.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Notes from Ayah.

This was dated 5 years back, and I still have it safe with me.

You wait for who? Say it again. It is you you are waiting for. Nobody else. Be clear on that.

Nothing can hurt me without my consent.

Ayah, October 17th 2011, on some random social network

Ps. On a more random note, look how time changes everything. Five years back, he was writing notes on a piece of newspaper article, perfectly signed. Now there's this thing we call copy-paste. Sentimental value, anyone?

Monday, October 17, 2011

Big girls don't cry.

Harini, kite buat orang menangis.

Kite rase kite cakap macam biase biase je, tapi die terase, maybe sebab mase tu die memang tengah low and sensitif kot, so mudah sangat terase, and terus menangis.

Kite panik gile time tu.

Yela, mane tak nye, tibe tibe je buat orang menangis, tak sengaje pulak tu.

Cuak gile.

And rase bersalah nak mati.

Lepas mintak maaf cakap elok elok sume, Alhamdulillah sume okay balik.

Tapi lagi sedih bile lepas kite balik rumah, kite tau something yang buat kite menangis pulak.

Tapi lagi, this time orang yang buat kite menangis tu tak mintak maaf pun.

In fact kite rase die tak tau pun kite menangis sebab die.

Of course la kan?

Sebab kite menangis sorang sorang je, macam mane orang lain nak tau.

Lepas tu kite terfikir, agak agak die rase bersalah tak buat kite menangis.

Tapi kan.

Mungkin die lupe kot.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Don't give up on me just yet.

I don't expect you to accept me for who I was,
but I hope you'll accept me for who I am.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Nottingham hangover.

Everyone loves pictures. So I present you... A hangover at Nottingham!

Nottingham Train Station

Bus Station

Yes, sampai sampai spot ni dulu. Home :')

The hangover; Haifaa, Bedah (tuan rumah ya'aww), Syarah, AJ, Lyn

Back in Leicester we have The Clock Tower, here, whatever building landmark it is.

Under my umbrella, eh eh. -_-

Whittard, the famous coffee/tea shop in Nottingham.

The medical student tea.

Later at Red Hot, halal all-you-can-eat buffet for £7.50. Okay orang Ireland sila jealous.

Reminds me of Haagen Dasz's fondue :')

Self-made. Tak berapa nak Haagen Dasz sangat lah.

Red Hot Nottingham - must eat place!

Some vintage shop. WANTTTT.

And each bag costs around £60. Fine lah.

Main target, Goose Fair! Tram stop - The Forest.
While still sober.

Aerial view, taken while riding the swing and Lyn was screaming like mad next to me :D

And the highlight was..

The bungee ride!

Okay excited.

Now dah cuak.

And there goes!

To infinity and beyond! (walhal kena lambung kat situ jugak je pun)

The boyfriend who got his girlfriend a super huge teddy bear by a fair win. Dreamy much, no?

 Nottingham's Goose Fair, October 8th, 2011. Okay kenapa perlu highlight date?

Why do I say hangover? Because after the last ride everyone went like, TAKNAK DAHHHH. And sumpah mabuk gila. I have always loved height and speed. The thrill excites me like mad! But slow, dizzying rides really annoy me. TAK SUKA. Macam swing yang kat Genting Highlands tu. Serius tak cool okay. It turned out the last ride which supposedly would be 'safe' (dalam erti kata Lyn AJ Bedah and Syarah), was a disaster! Pening gila nak mati and I was like, okay, get me out of this. So finally we left Goose Fair and headed for some coffee at Costa before heading home, Leicester.

See you at Nott's game people!

Monday, October 10, 2011

The rebound guy. (or girl)

Meet Phye, the sexiest printer on Earth.

And her first love note.